This isn't an issue for me yet ( LO is only 8 weeks old) but I know its going to be he's a little older on DH's family side in particular.
DH & I are wanting to not give E any screen time until approx after the age of 2 and only for very short periods. We also don't want E to have sugar etc until ATLEAST after 1 hopefully longer. This is our parenting choice and I respect others that choose differently. The only problem I see is when he will go to his grandparents house.... in particular when his cousins are there....
They sit in front of the TV at a very young age... they are giving chocolate and lollies even before they can walk. How do I avoid E doing these things?? I don't want him to feel left out ( can they even feel left out at that age?)
Do I just talk to DH's parents and siblings about our choices and hope they respect them?
DO we just suck it up and let him do those things only when he is there? ( don't really want to do that though)
Does anyone have a similar situation?
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We kinda deal with this. For us it started at a young age gradually letting them know how serious we were about her diet. Things like only organic veggies purée and foods when we started. Luckily they never pushed it much before one and we could just say "she's too young for that".
Now that she's older and sees the other kids we just try to pack her a bag with lots of healthy options. For example thy always stock the house with "fruit snacks" for the other kids (yes they consider this a good snack). As an alternative option I pack her little prunes or other dried fruits. For an alternative to lollipops she's usually still happy with one of the sweeter fruit pouches (we save them for special occasions like this).
Sorry can't be too much help on the screen time thing. We were always around with her so we could easily distract her or find another activity. If they did babysit it was just for short periods. I found that people like babies so most want to interact with them.
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@T.H.O.U.: thanks... I guess we need to talk to DH's parents... they like to give out chocolates and lollies when their grandkids are there.... we will just have to ask them not to do it when E is there. I just don't think they are going to understand though....
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I'm not sure how to handle this. It totally happened to me when I was growing up. My mom and dad fed me very healthily and organically back in the day. My grandparents gave me all kinds of sweets and stuff. My mom would complain, but nothing ever really changed. I did turn out all right though. ;).
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@Jennimac: I'm happy for them to spoil him with treats etc when he's a bit older, just not as young as they seem to be happy to do.
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I think the greater question is the frequency of their time together. Are they local? Is this a weekly issue (or more)? Or just when you are visiting them?
My inlaws are terrible about screen time - they have the TV on 24/7 and see no issue with C being in front of it all day. I would fight it, but we only see them a few times a year, and honestly it isn't worth the conflict.
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It hasn't been necessary to have direct conversation because when we visit my family LO is always with us. It's pretty clear to both sides as time has gone on that we are pretty strict about no sweets.
Screen time I am a little more lax about. The TV is almost always on at my brothers but she is so busy playing with her cousins she pays it no never mind.
My ILs. Now watch LO 1x a week and I have learned to let go and treat it as her cheat day. She eats super healthy with us so I am less concerned about the one day. But she is also older.
I did internally cringe when she told me the ladies at the bakery gave her a cookie. Sigh. -
@Mrs squirreld: once when M was 4 months my mom gave LO a teeny bit of a chocolate chip cookie. I gave her a scolding and she laughed it off. Later that night LO had issues falling asleep. I think my mom felt a bit guilty bc she asked me how bedtime went and I laid it on pretty thick that it was horrible
LOL she hasn't given her sweets since! Haha -
I felt the same way as you when DD was the same age as your LO. My mom tried to feed her all sorts of stuff that I didn't want her to have and it drove me crazy. Now that she's older (19 months) I just let it slide. I know that on a day to day basis she is eating super healthy, well-balanced meals and not watching TV/playing with iPad.
I've also learned to pick my battles. For non life threatening issues, I let it go. They (family members) are just trying to express their love/excitement for ours LOs in the way they know how
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I was in the same situation except we lived with dh's parents until lo was 10 months old. They tried multiple times to feed lo ice cream etc and I told them "please don't, she's too young for that" but then they ended up trying to sneak it to LO. Which I was pissed about. At this stage I don't let LO out of my sight when we're visiting their house because of what I've witnessed of them feeding my dh's nephew. Definitely have a conversation with them!
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I'm lucky that my sister already had that conversation with my parents, but I will revisit the issue very firmly with them. I'll tell them the story of a friend of mine who let her MIL watch her son (an infant at the time) for a date-night. The MIL gave him something with milk in it...icing or ice cream? Long-story short, they're racing back from the restaurant and speeding down the freeway breaking all sorts of laws getting to the ER because their child is swelling up and having a hard time breathing. Turns out he had a true milk allergy. They went home with epi-pens after that. Beyond a sweets vs no sweets issue, stuff like that has to be monitored!
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LO is almost 2. Still no screen time or refined sugars for him. Indon't see us changing in the near term. We explained the tv with reference to the AAP recommendations, which my parents still don't get. My dad in particular thinks the sugar thing is cruel... My MIL has also tried to give him things that I don't approve of, though I am always there to say no:). It is hard. You will just need to be there to run interference. As far as your LO feeling left out, I thought that would be an issue by now and it isn't. For example, when we go to bday parties my LO happily eats a plate of fruit (luckily always offered at parties), while the kids sitting around him eat ice cream and cupcakes. My LO has always been a great eater, but part of me thinks he continues to love veggies because he hasn't had sugar. My ped said 10% of kids still eat vegetables by age two. My LO won't eat carrots and potatoes but loves spinach, mushrooms, and even Brussel sprouts. My parents can't argue with me when I point out what a good eater he is and tie it back to no sugar (again, I can't prove the sugar connection). Stick to your plans and make no exceptions if you think family will take additional liberties if you make the occasional exception. Sorry, I rambled and don't have time to review and edit.
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