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DH's family ask for suggestions at Christmas and sometimes for LO's birthday. My mom does her own thing, but we have similar taste and I think she does a great job without suggestions so it doesn't bother me.

I think it just depends on what the family is used to. My family thinks it is super rude and gift grabby/entitled to ask for specific things, and my mom really enjoys thinking of/searching for the perfect gift for everyone. My husband's family is the total opposite, his mom needs an exact item, preferably with a link, to shop for. It gives her anxiety if she has think of things and she is offended if we don't get lists to her in time.

Growing up both sides of my family liked having suggestions or wish lists. It was just normal for us to do it that way. DH's family thinks it's weird to ask for or tell something specific. BUT his family is horrible at giving gifts. They also don't believe in gift receipts. 90% of things we receive from his family go straight to the donation pile.

DH prefers the way my family does gifts but knows he won't change his family. So we just roll with it.

I think it's one thing if you're asked, but to unprompted make a list comes across as pushy/rude to me. It kind of defeats the point of a gift IMO.

I love lists. And I'd prefer to give the grandparents/aunts/uncles lists too for my littles but we don't really do lists on either side. My in laws do sometimes ask for ideas.. however most of the time they go rogue anyway so it's kind of pointless (ie: last Christmas I told them DD really wanted some calico critters and they seemed interested in getting some for her.. at the last minute xmas eve I decided to buy a set just in case.. THANK GOODNESS I did bc they didn't get her any) I give my mom some ideas and she usually gets one or two of the idea gifts and then some random things she picks.

Honestly, I feel like I know my kids the best and I know what they'd like....also I don't want anything too big to take up space or things with LOTS of pieces or parts to lose!

We only buy for the adults on my husband's side as part of a "secret santa." My mother in law nearly had a stroke at the suggestion that we include some gift suggestions or possibly create a theme for the gift giving that year, even though, behind the scenes, everyone asks for suggestions on what to buy. Since she organizes the names, she said she "had to think about it" and she also got pressure from my other sister in law and now we do the 3 suggestions along with your name.

It's great and I finally get stuff I can use!

As for gifts for kids, I think it's a great thing. If you don't give me a suggestion, cash it is!

I think unsolicited lists are pushy, but if his brother asked what he could get, I would definitely make the suggestion of a balance bike. I always ask for a list or suggestions and am thrilled when people are super specific because it saves me time and I know the recipient will be happy!

Im fine giving suggestions if asked, but I'm not a huge list person. My husband's family is really into everyone doing lists. To me, if someone is just buying me what I asked them to buy me, what's the point? I can just buy it for myself. To me, gifts are truly about the thought. That someone put time and effort into thinking of something they thought I would enjoy. I certainly don't understand being upset that someone wants to pick out their own gift for you or your children. Even if you don't love it, it's a gift and it should be appreciated.

My parents ask for suggestions for the kids, and I appreciate that. That way we don't end up with stuff that they don't need/doesn't fit/etc. My MIL asks for suggestions but then buys a bunch of nonsense anyway, and it irritates the crap out of me. She never buys the right size clothing (and doesn't get receipts) and buys a bunch of junky little trinkets at the dollar store. I'd rather she spend the money she bought on all that crap and buy one nice thing that the kids actually want! I know it's the thought that counts, but we currently have at least 10 superballs, 4 silly putties, 6 sticky wall-walkers...you get the gist. I sent her the Amazon wish lists I keep for the kids every year, and every year she gets nothing from it, even though she asks me to send it.

In my family, we don't do actual "lists" persay.

My mom might ask what DH and I need before a holiday. Or she'll ask for help getting DH's birthday present (he's super hard to buy for). But it's not like he provides a written list of things he'd really like to get.

And for kids on that side of the family, we usually either give cash (it's seriously their most favorite thing ever) or for the little kids, I'll ask SIL what they need. With a family of 10 kids, it's kind of annoying if people just keep buying toys for every holiday because they have so much stuff handed down.

On DH's side, it's sort of the same. His family just sort of guesses for me. His sister will ask DH for ideas and that helps in getting things that are more my taste...but overall, most things from MIL end up being returned (god bless her, she thinks I'm two sizes smaller than I really am)

My side is a list family, DH isn't. I basically have to force him to make a list for my family every year. And yet, every year we both return the stuff his family gifts us because it is so far off base from what we want....given this, I can't understand why he is so anti-list!

ETA: we make the list but don't share it with anyone until we are asked. My family always asks, but I couldn't imagine sending it out preemptively.

That said, we are very conscious of putting things on our lists at all price points, from a book to fancy perfume. (spoiler: i got the book, but no one bought the perfume!)

@JerricaBenton: Yeah, I don't understand the anti-list thing, especially if you aren't going to put a lot of thought into the gift anyway. My in-laws give everyone the same thing - last year we all got winter jackets (Hubs, me, SIL, SIL's boyfriend). They were all identical and not the right sizes. And for YEARS, they would give me hat and gloves every Christmas. Thanks? And now they'll give my kids random stuff they aren't interested in or clothes that aren't the right sizes or my kids refuse to wear. PLEASE just ASK me what they want/need instead of giving us stuff we can't/won't use!

@JerricaBenton: Yeah, I was willing to put up with getting the same thing every year (and one year I got deodorant from them... thanks), but with the kids, I feel bad. I feel bad that the kids are getting junk and I feel bad that the gifts aren't appreciated. The only upside is that it's a great opportunity to teach my kids how to be gracious! But it's HARD to get them to be thankful and appreciative when they get something they have ZERO interest in or absolutely hate.

I have a running Amazon list and give it to anyone who asks

I really think this depends on the family. In my own family, I ask for and give gift suggestions and everyone is fine with it. In my DH's family no one really asks or gives and we end up with random stuff, some of it is useful, and some of it goes unused and feels wasteful. Personally, I like when people tell me what they want. I'm a terrible gift giver, mostly because I think the receiver is going to hate what I give them and I don't want to waste the opportunity, so I highly appreciate suggestions!