My husband won't let me go out with my friends past midnight but he's allowed to go out til 2 or 3 in the morning on special occassions. WTH? He says it's cause he's worried about me but the same applies to him!!
Do you and your SO have any double standards?
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
nope. if anything i stay out later than mr. bee. 
haven't really gone out since olive came along, but i did go out (and stay out late) regularly when we had charlie, while mr. bee stayed home.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I guess a little bit... but they are always to my benefit : ) There are certain things around the house that hubs just doesn't like me to do (mow the lawn for example)... but he will help me with anything I ask him to (vaccuuming, laundry, etc). As far as staying out late I do whatever I want... but if I was out really late with a bunch of girls he would prefer to come pick me up then have me take a cab home alone.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Nope. I would LIKE if he checked the oil in my car and stuff, but he won't do it (he'll only "teach" me how to do it - no thanks!). But I guess I'd prefer the equality to him thinking I can't do things just because I'm a woman.
pear / 1837 posts
@MamaMoose: Yeah, the only thing that comes to my mind is the fact that there are definitely some "boy" chores that he always does, whereas I don't think there are any chores that only I do. And DH will also do stuff like pick me up from the metro or at an event, while I'll let him walk home. Pretty much all our double standards work in my favor
coconut / 8299 posts
@lozza: Oh yeah, I forgot about chores. There are definitely man chores (like taking out the trash, which I never do) but I don't necessarily have any chores that are dedicated just to me. He does dishes, laundry, ironing, etc. But I won't take out the trash or empty out the diaper genie (ew). lol
pomegranate / 3398 posts
Nope, if he can go out and stay out til he's ready to come home the same applies to me.
We also share the household responsibilities and "take turns" doing things like the dishes and stuff.
Our biggest saying is "We are a team". May seem corny but with that we always reel ourselves in and focus on the both of us as equal partners.
coconut / 8299 posts
@lozza: SCOOORE! I hate emptying that thing out. Makes me gag every time. I blame it on the pregnancy hormones. hehe.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Hes allowed to make mistakes but I'm not. He'll never admit that he makes a mistake though. He says that I left the toilet seat up. Obviously that's just not true.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Oooh that would not fly in our house. We both have free rein, we run things by each other but I would never "ask" permission to do anything. He sometimes ask if it's okay to do stuff, if he knows that it's with people I don't necessarily like him hanging around (some bad apple friends) but we are at a place in our relationship that we know what is okay and not okay with the other person.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
@jessiejo17: We're the same way. We know each other well enough that we know what's okay and not, but always, always, always, run it by each other.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
@Alivoo01: Totally agree, we run it by each other out of respect for the other person.
eggplant / 11824 posts
We don't have rules or double standards for each other. I cannot imagine if my husband told me I wasn't allowed to do something lol that makes me laugh just trying to imagine it. It would only happen once!
pomegranate / 3414 posts
Yep, there sure are:
-he refuses to do laundry but expects me to help mow the grass
-he has several activities that he does during the weekday evenings yet my 1 or 2 activities a month are met with griping and whining from him
-he can leave a light on when he leaves the room but if I do he insists I turn it off immediately
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
Yep. He likes to sass me about not answering my phone or not responding to a text quickly enough. But he responds on his own timetable.
coconut / 8299 posts
@purpletulips: Ugh, I'd be mad about the second item on your list. My husband and I talk about being "fair" to each other but sometimes we don't necessarily see eye to eye. How have you worked through it?
pomegranate / 3414 posts
@banana: It is an ongoing process. Mostly I remind him of all the time he takes away from the family and that I don't ask for nearly that much which quiets him for awhile. The other thing we've done is for every evening he is away, I get an evening away even if I don't have any specific plans (although I rarely cash in on these).
coconut / 8299 posts
@purpletulips: You should totally cash in on those! I totally do! haha. For us, we just realized that nothing will ever be "fair" or "even steven" as he likes to put it. As much we'd like it to be, somebody has to give in, which is hard considering we're both so stubborn. hehe. But it's an ongoing process for us too. And that's how it should be...an ongoing process so that you're always trying to make things better. The second somebody gives in or stops trying, that's when the problems could begin.
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