I have very, very little care about how I am perceived. I do want to come across as nice but as far as "stuff" I couldn't care less. I don't dress to impress, drive a fancy car or have a nice lawn etc. I fact I prefer not to even mow my lawn because I have more useful ways to use my time lol. People are usually shocked when they come into our house and see how cozy it is because it's very uninviting from the outside, but that's where I spend a lot of my time so that's where I put my effort. I'm not concerned with wasting effort to impress the neighbors. How about you? Do you care what impression you make on people?
-
I guess to some extent...I don't want anyone to think bad thigs about me (mean, lazy, dirty....I'm just making up things off the top of my head as examples). But I also couldn't care less about overly impressing...I don't care if someone thinks I'm rich, fancy, fashionable, the cleanest person, the nicest person, etc etc. I buy and wear and do what I do because I like it.
-
I do care, because the fact of the matter is that our society judges people based on outward appearances before getting to know what is underneath. I make sure my family and I are clean, dressed, brushed, etc before heading out the door. We make sure to bring our garbage cans in and rake our leaves so our house looks neat.
I also live in a metro area where there is a lot of societal pressure to look good/have nice things. I wish it weren't so, but I don't really know what to do against it. I do care what impressions I make on people because when I need something of them, I want them to remember that I am fair and kind. It doesn't matter WHERE I buy my clothing, but it matters that I am neat looking.
-
Yes, for all the same reasons @looch: mentioned.
-
@looch: I'm sure part of my reasoning for my mindset is that I was raised, and live in a rural area. We don't have HOA or anything like that around here so being judged based on that stuff wasn't something that was taught to me.
-
@Beyond2: We don't have HOA either, in my neighborhood, but we do have what I would call pride of ownership.
Are you writing that you'd only keep your house up because of an HOA?
-
@looch: No I'm thinking the point I'm trying to make is getting lost when I try to write it out. Basically I grew up and live in a place where usefulness takes precedence over appearance so I was never taught to worry what others thought as long as what i'm doing makes the most sense for my own life. For example. I mow my lawn maybe once a month in the summer because my time is put into cutting and baling hay and working in the garden to put up food. these things, along with caring for the animals on our farm and keeping a neat house (interior) where we do most of our day to day activities and living are places that I invest time in because they are important to me particularly even though most people don't see the results.
I was raised with the mindset that the people who matter wont mind if they show up and your yard is messy and the people who mind don't matter. Basically I wrote the post to see if others were raised or live with that mindset? Im just not sure that I'm explaining what I'm trying to say very well
-
@Beyond2: I appreciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts. I do get what your're writing, if you have limited amount of time, it makes sense to do the tasks that give you the largest benefit.
I don't live in a rural area, so I don't think we can compare, really. I keep up my house because it helps everyone in the neighborhood with respect to property values. I can see where you don't need to do this because you live out somewhere there's a lot of space between homes and the land is used differently.
Either way, though, I think there is value in curb appeal, but that's just me, I suppose.
-
@looch: I'm guessing most people share your point of view and that's kind of what I wanted to see with the post. I'm glad you responded!
-
I definitely care about what people think of me. My personality is very relationship oriented and I really have to curb my people pleaser instincts a lot. I definitely crave acceptance from others and I've learned overtime that I cannot let that define who I am.
Materialistic wise, I know we're not in the income bracket to show off anything so I never really care that much.
I do understand if you guys are talking about the curb appeal of your homes; I think I will do what reflects my personality. I'm a neat freak so having a messy hard/front porch is not really my style haha. I also like to decorate so while my house may SEEM nice, it's just b/c I'm OCD!
-
@looch: I was going to leave a similar comment. It drives me crazy when people don't take care of the exterior of their home/lawn because it negatively affects our property value. When we were house hunting we actually decided against a house we loved because a neighbor took such poor care of his lawn. I suppose it would be different in a more rural area.
-
There's a difference in caring so much that you are keeping up with the joneses...buying shit you can't afford, etc because you care about how they perceive you....and what you are talking about.
I grew in a home that was VERY about the appearances. To an unhealthy extreme. And I am definitely a huge step down from that. But....I care in that I like to be put together. I'm not a slob and I don't put forth that image. The things I care about myself, for ME, are things that I care for others to notice, because it's who i am, it's my persona, if that makes sense.
I do find, though, that people who don't care, look like they don't care, and that sort of emanates into all areas of their lives...and it generally has an overall negative effect on them.
I love that our neighbors and people in our subdivision can't just "trash out" and leave crap all over their lawn. They have to mow their lawn, etc, and I like having a nice subdivision that isn't littered with kid toys, broken down cars, overgrown trees, etc. It just looks trashy and I don't want to live there!
-
I want people to like me for me, not my stuff, so yes I do care. I want to be seen as a good person & I like to look nice on the outside too.
-
I have a real problem with this - I care far too much what people think of me and exert huge amounts of energy trying to be perfect or trying to please people to the detriment of my health and the relationships that actually matter. I don't place any value on material possessions at all and I don't care about "keeping up with the Jones" as such but anything that might prompt someone to make a moral or personal judgement about me - I'm lazy, I'm dirty, I'm disorganised, I'm careless, I'm stupid, I'm not a nice person - sends me into a tailspin. For example, I HATE it when people drop by or give me very little notice of their popping to see me (even close family like my mum) because not only do I need the house to be immaculately clean, I need to light scented candles (what if my house smells?), I need to look nice myself (I don't want them to think I'm a slob), I need the garden to look nice (I don't want them to think I'm lazy)...... it's very unhealthy.
-
yeah, i probably care too much but don't actually do enough to take care of the issue!
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
14 comments