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@Silva: I couldn't agree with you more. Imagination, magic, childhood. All of it. Spot on to my opinion of it all as well.
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We will! I loved the idea of Santa growing up. And I wasn't emotionally scarred or anything when I found out he wasn't real.
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We will definitely do Santa. DH is one of those crazy people who's going to put out half eaten cookies and try to make reindeer sounds on the roof somehow, lol. To me, there's such a small window of time when kids are old enough to know who Santa is and understand, and yet young enough to believe in magic in the world. I think those years area amazing and a gift to us as the parents to live with them in their magical world for just a little while.
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Absolutely - we'll be doing Santa! It is so much fun and I have wonderful memories of all of it! I have never felt like my parents lied to me or emotionally damaged me in any way by letting a 5 year old believe in the magic of Santa.
Those of you who aren't doing Santa ..how are you going to explain to your LO to not ruin everyone else's Christmas fantasy because they know Santa isn't real? I guess by not "lying" to your kid, you have to hope they will lie to their classmates as to not ruin it for others? I know how 4 year olds like to talk
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@MrsTiz: I think I'll take the approach that Santa is a game some people play, but Santa isn't a real person.
Frankly, I don't think I need to worry about "ruining" it for other kids. I absolutely wouldn't expect my kid to lie about it. If someone else is going to tell their kids something that isn't true and my kid tells them the truth... well that just isn't my problem. I guess that is up to the other kid's parents to "fix" lol.
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We need to talk again, but we won't be having Santa as a "real person" (so I voted no). We may do Santa. We both grew up with Santa. My mom is way to into Santa and well into HS tried to have us write letters to him. That's what I'm worried about- is having her push it onto our kids. I also don't want them ruining it for classmates or whatever.
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No Santa here. I don't mind discussing Santa, I grew up with him, but presents will come from parents and people that actually know my child. Not knowing what you will receive for Christmas is a surprise of its own.
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Yes, we will do Santa, the toothfairy, ect. I don't see this as "lying" I see it as letting them be little and enjoying the little magic that is left in the world.
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We will definitely do the "traditional" santa, etc stuff. I never felt hurt or lied to. I figured it out from school that santa wasn't real and almost felt bad that my parents thought I still believed. My mom would then take me shopping and say Santa gets some presents and parents do the rest, haha. I loved keeping the spirit alive for my sisters. I LOVED the "evidence" my dad would plant. When we moved, we found baby shoes on a long stick (to make "elf footprints" in the snow on the ledges outside our window) and sleigh bells on a long cord that he would throw out the window where we couldn't see and would pull the cord so we thought they were on the roof. It made holidays SO exciting. Actually I told my mom a year and a half ago I SWEAR I saw the easter bunny once and explained it and she told me how that was something our dad had done, haha. DH's family were a member of a really strange religion most of his childhood and didn't do holidays and it makes me sad how much he doesn't get into them or care. It even bothers HIM so he wants to make them "magical" for our kiddos too. I think it helps that I never saw it as lying though.
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@pui: That really bothers me. Just because you are choosing to not have your child believe in Santa does not mean that it is ok for your kid to ruin it for my child. You teach your child that other kids believe in Santa and that they don't ruin it for other kids.
What if the situation was reverse? I can't imagine you be ok with another child ruining something for your child. -
@Smurfette: So you seriously expect me to tell my kid to lie to your kid? I can try my best to get my kid not to talk about it in order to not spoil it, but I can't really prevent that completely. And I won't tell her to lie. However, it's not like I'm going to teach my kid to go tell as many kids as possible that Santa isn't real lol.
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@Smurfette: thank you.. I was trying to say that but I couldn't make it polite so I decided not to try and explain it lol!
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@lizzywiz: same here. He wasn't raised with Santa, he was the oldest child to a single mom and she worked damn hard to give them presents every year and they knew it. I don't necessarily agree with that but I also don't want our kids to expect a while lot of stuff. We did Santa in our house and my parents still sometimes write "from Santa" on our gifts. It's cute but we still haven't decided what we will do. And I was not heartbroken to find out he wasn't real
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@MrsTiz: If some other kid asks my kid about Santa, I'm not going to expect my kid to say he's real or play along, that's all. If that ruins it for someone else, well I'm sorry I guess. I don't know what else I could do.
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@Smurfette: @MrsTiz: I agree. I could not think of a way to address that politely. I've only ever heard of "Santa = lying to my kids" on HB.
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I agree with @pui -- I mean, I will do everything possible to keep my kid from revealing the Santa thing to other kids, but in the end, I can't really control that.
I actually don't really understand how so many kids believe in Santa anyway, in the multicultural, diverse world we live in! I don't think anyone would dare blame me for "ruining Santa" if I were from some other religious background that excluded Santa...
I really didn't want to jump into the fray but I guess I just did....
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@pui: I am not saying you need to tell your child to lie. I said you can teach them that while your house doesn't believe in Santa, others do and that is something you teach your child to respect. To flat out say it isn't your problem that we lied to our child and we have to fix it ourselves, is just rude and cold. What if the situation was reverse?
Parents need all the help they can get and support from one other. Whether we believe in the same things or not.
I am not sure what the best answer to this is really. I have NEVER heard of anyone not doing Santa in IRL. So I hope that I don't have to deal with other child ruining the magic of Santa for my child.
@MrsTiz: -
@pui: @mamimami: I do agree that at some point kids figure it out and most likely it will because another kid told them. I just don't like the "not my problem you are lying to your kid attitude." If you aren't going to teach your kids about Santa, then I think you teach them that other kids do, and we don't ruin their fun.
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@lamariniere: Yes! I don't feel like its lying, but I'm just not all that interested in Santa et al. If we feel differently about it when our kids are older, we might do a stocking or something, or explain who St Nick was and give them an opportunity to 'play' Santa for someone else
Its interesting to see people say they don't know anyone who doesn't do Santa etc. No one in our social circle, save for one family, participates in it. I don't think its right or wrong either way! It just doesn't work for us.
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@Smurfette: @swedishfish:
yeah this whole "I don't lie to my kids" regarding Santa thing is apparently HB mamas only! Which I guess is good because we love Santa -
@pui: @Smurfette: I've taught Preschool/K for 10 years and only once had a kid try to "spoil" Santa, so I don't think it's as big an issue between kids as it is with adults. The one time it happened, the parents were very outspoken about him being fake and took the "not my problem" attitude. Obviously not everyone has Santa, so it's more the parents' approach regarding tact.
I do think every parent has the responsibility to explain that some people believe in Santa, while others do not, and it's impolite to challenge other people's beliefs (until kids are much much much older). Kids are savvy enough to get that concept.
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@Smurfette: I'm sorry if I came off like I just don't care... I really don't want to spoil anything for anyone else's kids. My parents did Santa with myself and my siblings, so I honestly do not hold anything against parents who decide to do it. I just don't know what else I can do to prevent my kid from spilling the beans? Like I said, it's not like I'm going to go out of my way to make sure my kid tells everyone Santa isn't real, but I don't think I could ever prevent her saying something if she decides to. I can't really be blamed for that.
If someone told my kid something that I didn't agree with (which I am sure will happen plenty of times) I think it's up to me to clarify it with them.
I don't know about telling my kid to "respect" other's "belief" in Santa, which everyone accepts as being nothing but a fictional character... I'd like to reserve that kind of reverence of respect for real beliefs, like other's religions or political views. That said, I guess what I'll tell my kid is Santa is a game some people play and you shouldn't bother anyone who's playing it. It's just really hard to get all this across to a really young kid. :\ By the time she's older I'm sure she can understand the concept of playing along for someone else's benefit without it being real, like I did for my younger siblings when I grew out of Santa at around 6 years old.
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@JoyfulKiwi: I certainly would never tell anyone's kid myself that Santa isn't real! That really is mean. I'm sure an adult can avoid having to do that easily enough.
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We will probably do Santa but I hope to keep it low-key. For me this issue isn't lying to kids, it's just the huge emphasis on consumerism that Christmas seems to have these days, and Santa is obviously a part of that. I also dislike the whole "be good or Santa won't bring you presents" thing.
My extended family is big into these types of holidays (LO got THREE Easter baskets this year, and the one I put together was the smallest one!) so I am actually a little worried about this. DH and I have talked about not doing Santa at all, but honestly we don't think it would work because our parents and siblings would probably all band together to do some "Santa" thing anyway and undermine our efforts.
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We will absolutely do Santa. We will do the tooth fairy as well. We don't really celebrate Easter but will likely make him a basket.
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@pui: oh no, I would never think/suggest you would do that! I'm sorry it sounded that way. The parents of the child didn't tell the kids, but their attitude made the kid feel like it was okay to burst everyone's bubble (the little girl went around telling everyone "Santa is fake; your parents buy you presents; they are lying to you" etc) and after they were like "Not our problem".
For what it's worth, even that experience didn't ruin Christmas for any kid in my class. They're pretty resilient.
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We will do Santa. Our experiences growing up really do shape so much of our adult decisions! I remember thinking as a kid how sad I was that my parents didn't "care enough" to do santa when children all around me got a visit from santa every year. I always knew he wasn't real, but I still wished we could've had that tradition in our home. DH's parents did santa and he loved it!
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I will "do" santa, and I won't see it as lying to my children.
From my experience, I think the idea of Santa and St. Nick is a really good example to children about the spirit and magic of Christmas. It's a good chance to teach children about expectations (like, you can ask for whatever you want, but that doesn't mean you're going to get it) and about giving selflessly, and helping the needy (if you pull in St. Nick's story).
I honestly don't remember finding out that Santa "wasn't real"
At some point there was a shift from him being a person to being the "spirit" of Christmas, but I NEVER thought my parents lied to me.
yeah this whole "I don't lie to my kids" regarding Santa thing is apparently HB mamas only! Which I guess is good because we love Santa 
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