My LO is almost 16 months and the whole "distract him from the unwanted behavior thing" isn't working anymore because I feel like he isn't really learning that it means no.. Just that he can do it again later when I'm not watching.
So Just like it says.. Do you do time outs? If so, when did you start them with LO and do you feel they work?
pomegranate / 3643 posts
Yes. LO is about 19 months. We use it more to help regulate his feelings and give him a chance to calm down than as a punishment. Or if he is repeatedly getting himself into an unsafe situation (ie we are cooking dinner and he keeps climbing on the table.) we keep them short and our rule is the parent that initiates it is the one that lets him out. We don't want him to think daddy is the mean one and mama is nice or anything like that.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Time-outs didn't really work for us until DD hit age 2. DS is 18 months and we haven't done any time-outs yet.
pineapple / 12802 posts
We don't do time outs as of yet, because L is too young and hasn't really shown any behaviour to need them yet. However, we will eventually. We used them with our other two boys when they were of an understanding age. From about 2 - 6. They definitely helped remove them from the situation. I know a lot of people and experts say that it gives them time to think about what they did, and while I do think it gives them the TIME, I don't necessarily think they use it to contemplate their behaviour. I think they actually use it to hate on their parents. LOL.
Either way, it did work and they were much more willing to tlak it out and hug it out at the end of the time out.
We use the minute per age style of time outs and would add another minute for every time they got off time out or made a fuss or didn't want to talk etc.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
We tried them a bit when she was in her most ferocious biting stage, but they didn't work for us. I imagine we'll try them again in six months or so.
squash / 13764 posts
We do! We started them around 21 months, and he gets a warning, and then I sit down with him facing a corner for 1 minute. I don't look at him or talk to him, just keep a gentle hand on him if he tries to get up. We sit for 1 minute, and then I explain why he got a timeout and tell him I love him.
We only do it for one thing, which is saying something mean to dh (time outs are the only effective way we've found to get him to stop). I didn't think they would work, but they a re definitely effective! He doesn't hit or bite or throw toys, but those are other things I would use it for.
pomegranate / 3053 posts
I remember when my oldest was 15 months, he was "hitting" my face when he didn't get what he wanted. His ped thought it wouldn't hurt to start time outs in a play yard at that age. I couldn't bring myself to do it until he turned 18 months which is the recommended time to start time outs. The play yard was great b/c I was able to walk away (with him sobbing 
) but knew that he was in a safe place. Once he learned what it was, of course, he hated it. It took some time to transition to standing in a boring corner for time outs. He ran away a lot and the key is to not give up so I kept putting him back. As for it helping, it does in most ways with my oldest. He is 5.5 and still gets time outs but a lot less compared to before. With my youngest (2.5) he HATES it. He'll just keep running away so I have to stand with my back facing him to wait it out. It helps immediately with him and then he forgets later and hits his big brother again later... It definitely helps right away when I do it immediately after my boys do something they shouldn't do. I don't know how long I will do time out though... And I've heard it just doesn't work for some kids. But if you want to do it, I recommend not waiting too long after 18 months to do it. It does get harder and my youngest is proof of it for me. I think I started shortly after he turned 20 months... and I didn't have a play yard.
honeydew / 7687 posts
Nope. Our pedi said not to think about it until at least 2; we try to do "natural consequences" I.e. If he hits, we won't play with him. If he is not being gentle with something, he loses it.
nectarine / 2641 posts
I mostly do natural consequences, but when necessary, I will do a time-out of sorts. Around 1, we started doing the set him down and walk away method. So if he hits me, I pick him up without any words, take him to another room, set him down and walk away. He immediately comes back over to find me, but it is a super clear sign to him that the behavior wasn't acceptable. Now that he is 20 months, I also request an apology when he returns. Yesterday I almost put him in his crib for a time-out, but didn't want the negative association and didn't feel right closing him into a room. I may come up with some sort of time-out chair or something soon, but for now, the short time-outs are working.
Time-outs are rare, though. Most of the time it's a natural consequence. Throw your truck? Truck goes away for awhile. Don't listen to mommy outside? We go inside. Etc.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
We do. I can't remember when we started, but I do remember that when he was biting us after he turned 1, we would put him down and walk away. I guess that was the first mild version we did. Now there is a couch in his room that we use for time outs. We only use it for things like hitting or throwing things at people and I think it works. It's a way for him to calm down and he always goes back to playing nicely after.
pineapple / 12526 posts
Yes. We started around 18 months and I am a firm believer that they work. We use the Super Nanny timeout method.
nectarine / 2079 posts
At 20 months, not yet. There are a few times I have wanted to (when she kicks me playfully when I tell her to stop) but I'm never prepared with where or how the timeouts will happen at that moment and it is infrequently enough that I haven't put a lot of thought into it still.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
nope. LO is 21 months. I think I would like to avoid them, but as I have learned with many other parenting decisions "never say never"!
pineapple / 12566 posts
Yes, we started around 13 months (I feel like I'm a lot more strict than others on this topic). In the beginning we would have to hold him either sitting or standing in the corner and would just do it for a few seconds. He learned rather quickly that X behavior was unacceptable and that there were consequences. By about 16 months, I could tell him to go sit in the corner and he would go on his own (crying). He's now 3.5 and we still use time outs/sit in the corner as our main discipline tool and it works for us.
Eta: I should add that when the time out is over, we always explain why he was in trouble, talk about what is acceptable and then give a hug/kiss.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
Sorta? We do 'quiet time' in her crib. I can tell she's an introvert like me who gets overstimulated and needs time alone, so a couple times now when she's had (obviously stimulation-related) meltdowns we've done quiet time in her crib for 5-10 mins, just to let her calm down and gather herself.
It seems to work pretty well, and we don't tell her she's being punished, we just tell her to basically hang out for a few and let us know when she's ok to come play again.
I fully intend to do 'real' time-outs when she gets older.
coconut / 8498 posts
Yes. We started early - not long after she turned 1. (@lamariniere: threads like this always make me feel like a super strict parent!) We've always done them in her crib.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I did time outs in her room and they worked well for us. I was a little worried at first it might make her dislike her room but for her it wasn't the case.
nectarine / 2217 posts
@lamariniere: we did something similar soon after he turned 1 as well. they definitely understand at that age! 
LO#2 is almost 1, and I think he's almost ready.... haha...
grapefruit / 4120 posts
Absolutely! Starting probably around 14 mo? Threatening a time out really works as a deterrent!
persimmon / 1343 posts
I don't do time outs yet at 14 months but if she is continually getting into something, I will put her in the pack n play with a bunch of toys (ones that stay only in the pnp) for a while just to give myself a break lol. It isn't really a punishment for her though, she loves playing in there usually! I am going to try and avoid time-outs in favor of "time-in" though because I feel that it will be more effective and I prefer to say what to do instead of what not to do, if that makes sense? My daughter is still young though, I may change my mind depending on her reaction/behavior!
grapefruit / 4120 posts
BTW I have tried time-ins and that crap didn't work at all for us! Hahaha. I'm sure they work for some nicer mommies
persimmon / 1343 posts
@mamimami: Haha Yeah I think it depends a lot on the child/parent. So far my daughter is fairly compliant and is easily redirected to what she "should" be doing (eg. "nice touches" instead of scratching or hitting).. crossing my fingers that she stays pretty easy!
kiwi / 600 posts
Oh yes. DS has grown quite accustomed to the corner when he's misbehaving. When he was younger, we'd just prompt him to take a deep breath to help him calm himself down, which worked quite well. However, now that we've entered the phase of the "terrible twos" with full-blown meltdowns, screaming, hitting, etc, he will be prompted to stand in the corner. Once there, we count to three and have him take a couple deep breaths to calm down. Then we have him go say sorry to whoever he hit (usually just gives kisses). It usually helps...but not always.
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