Even though we don't know the couple well at all, I still feel bad.
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Yes. I declined one to a couple we don't know at all, just relatives of DH's ex-stepdad and still felt bad. I wrote them well wishes on the back of the RSVP card
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Yes! There's a family wedding about 2 hours away in mid September. I RSVP'd no but DH is going. I feel really bad saying no but I'm not leaving a NB with my mom for over 8-10 hours and being 2 hours away.
But when the invite came and we saw LO1 wasn't invited I felt less bad. Because I definitely am not straddling my mom with a toddler and NB.
And really they don't know my mom is here so not inviting kids means one of us isn't going anyway.
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I do too! Even when I have a perfectly legitimate excuse, I still feel as though I'm slighting the couple. We just had to RSVP no to a wedding as it is black tie optional, no kids, and would require us to travel internationally. With a 6 month old who is EBF, and a 25 month old, that is just not happening. I still feel bad though....
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Depends on how well/close we are to the couple. If not really, nope. Otherwise, yea. Darn that guilty conscious! lol
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No...I just try to do it as timely as possible. And depending how close I am to the bride or groom I will send a gift. Some invites are obligatory like all first cousins will get an invite yet I don't know the cousin well or even have their phone number.
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Yes, a little!
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I do, but if they are true friends they would understand. Always send a gift though!
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@locavore_mama: This one is 4 hours away and R isn't invited. SMIL said she would find a sitter. Um no, not leaving her with someone her nor I don't know, in a house that isn't familiar to her (IL's). Leaving her with my parents was an option but I would rather save an overnight stay and DH can do something with friends then a wedding of a friend of SMIL.
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It depends on the person, I usually only say no if I have to- like the two on the other side of the country within a week of my due date. Plus we have been invited to two other weddings we couldn't go to where I know money was an issue and I am sure that they were relieved to have the head count a bit lower and we were able to celebrate with them a few weeks later.
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No, because I always send a gift.
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@erwoo: @looch: Yes, we will be sending a gift.
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Not really, since usually we really can't make it, or we decline b/c we really don't know the couple well.
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Not at all.
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Nope. That's why RSVPs exist!
I'd only feel bad if I couldn't attend the wedding of someone close to me.
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Depends. I just said no to someone because it's far away and too hard to travel with kids, still nursing, and it would be hard getting a babysitter. But she didn't come to my wedding so I don't feel too bad.
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I would feel worse about not sending the RSVP back or RSVP'ing yes and not coming. Weddings are expensive. That drama ain't cool.
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It depends. I didn't feel bad last year because the wedding was the day after I was due and in Vermont. Usually I do feel bad though.
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I can only think of one wedding we've declined, it was out of state on my side of the family. I bought them the most expensive thing on their registry, figuring it was still a lot less money than we would have spent on plane tickets + hotel. So I guess there may have been some guilt-spending involved there.
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Yes, but not for the people I said no to. I rarely get to go to weddings, so I'd be bummed if I couldn't go...no matter who it is!
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I do, especially if they came to ours. But typically it's been far away weddings of people we aren't super close to. It surprises me that anyone would expect kids to be invited or that you want to bring kids anyway. We attend approx 6 weddings a year and out kids have never been invited (even to my brothers)! We do a combo of leaving kids with family, bringing family and getting an extra room, using sitters in the area, or leaving kids with our local sitters. I love weddings!
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ha-ha I just did this and wrote a little note on the RSVP apologizing that we had another commitment that day (another wedding for someone I'm way closer with.)
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I do feel bad!
Last year I had to decline going to a friend's wedding, as airfare was so expensive that I just couldn't justify going (especially after our plumber and pest control guy ended up going home with most of our expendable income for the summer
)The one I feel kind of bad about this year is scheduled about 4 days before my due date- I feel especially bad since she flew up earlier this year for our wedding! I'll be doing some guilt-induced spending on their registry for sure!
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Not if we have other legit plans. Unless it was in another country or we hardly knew the couple at all, we would try to go.
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We decline frequently honestly. But our friends are all over the country and we just can't afford to get to every wedding, especially since C was born and he isn't ever invited (nor would we bring him if he were - would rather not make him disrupt schedule/travel if my parents can come watch him).
For a super close friend, we always go but beyond the weddings we stand up in, I don't fret about declining and send a gift.
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I never have, but don't think I would unless it was a close friend.
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No, not at all! But that's probably because:
A) I always send a gift
B) I always have a very legit reason to say no
C) I hate weddings so I'm happy on the inside
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@cupquakewalk: I don't care for weddings in the first place, and DH hates them, so we're both motivated to decline without much guilt
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I always feel guilty because I was so excited to get positive RSVPs when DH and I got married. We try to send an early gift when we know we can't go.
fSIL just set her wedding date 6 weeks after our due date and is already pressuring us to decide. She lives on the east coast with us, but it's a west coast wedding. I get that venues are hard to book on less than a year's notice, but I don't feel bad about saying "probably not" given the circumstances. Whatever happens, I plan on blaming the pediatrician just to keep the peace.
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Nope!
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I usually do, because I know they probably put some thought into inviting us! But I've turned down invites before because it doesn't make sense to travel that far, and I feel less guilty about those ones.
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