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My son was high needs as an infant/baby. He rarely slept (sometimes just a 20 minute cat nap for the ENTIRE DAY), nursed around the clock, would cry if he was put down and still only slept 90ish minute stretches at night. It all got sorted out around a year and he became a totally different person when he started walking. It was seriously like night and day. He's 5 now and mostly very easy going and an overall lovely, thoughtful and compassionate child. Parenting him got way easier after 1. I can compare with my low needs 2nd child who was extremely easy (other than sleep) until about 10 months and then became a demanding, feisty, strong willed toddler. Parenting the second one is completely different from the first one!

My mother in law often said this about my son....that a baby with a strong personality is stressful for the mother, but when that child is a teenager, this will serve him/her well. I am hoping that's true.

My son was very high needs and I kept waiting for it to get better (it hasn't gotten better, it's gotten different) and at each stage, there are challenges, but this is true for all children, even the most easy going ones out there. I try not to look at the high needs aspect as a fault, but rather a feature to be celebrated.

eta: I should clarify what I meant by high needs...he is the kind of kid that thrives on a schedule. There was no deviating from it, if we did, it was a nightmare for everyone. This was apparent from when he was very small, my mom was shocked by his predictability when he was only 5 weeks old.

@oliviaoblivia: story of my life, solidarity friend.

DD was a high needs baby (bad eczema, allergies, reflux...). She had a witching hour every night for about 3 hours, could never be put down, hated the carseat and stroller, and was really exhausting for the first year. We sleep trained her early, so she was actually great in the sleep department... but when she was awake she constantly had to be held, only wanted me, was very cautious and shy so did not like to be in social settings... really hard. But every year after she turned 2 has been such an improvement, and gotten easier and easier. She has turned into a thoughtful, sweet, and gentle little girl.

DS was a very easy baby. He was as happy as a clam as long as he slept, was fed, and had a clean diaper. Never cried otherwise. He actually preferred to be put down so I didn't even babywear him. He was super independent and could entertain himself independently without needing much from me. But then he hit toddlerhood, and while he is still a happy boy... he is rambunctious, strong-willed, and opinionated! 3's have been harder than 2 with him, which is such a contrast from my first, but it sounds on par with what most other parents experience.

DD was a high needs baby. She had a rough start at things (low supply, MSPI, reflux-- all leading us to think she had colic when really she was just hungry and/or in pain). All the drama led to some (probably mental) eating issues and she basically had me a prisoner in my own home until she was on solids after a year (because she would only eat if I gave her a bottle while she was swaddled sleepy but not sleeping and rocking her in her bedroom with lights dimmed and white noise going....). And even beyond that I just felt she was pretty feisty/determined.

At 2 I would say she is still pretty feisty and stubborn but I don't feel she is particularly high needs. She is (knock wood) a good eater and sleeps well and is generally very sweet and funny. She tantrums but I feel like she does it the same amount or less than other kids her age.

I think my first was fairly high needs. There are harder babies out there but she hated sleep, wanted to be held and nursed all the time, and cried, a lot, for the first few months. Things generally got easier after the fourth trimester but she is still challenging as an almost three year. She is super smart (in my opinion ) but can be a huge PITA.

My second is almost 6 months and is so so different. Not the easiest baby in the world but so much more chill, I push her naps to work around the toddlers schedule and she can handle it. Apparently according to this thread she will stay this way until 3 when there will be hell to pay.

DD was a high needs baby. She would scream bloody murder every time I put her down. I thought all babies calm down when they're outside, but that didn't do anything for her. I dreaded going anywhere with her - we couldn't get as far as the elevator before the comments would start about how poor baby needs a paci/food/a cuddle. For some reason we had a hard time bonding at fist, and I think all that screaming was because that scared her but lots of cuddles and kisses later, she finally got that I love her and when I put her down, I'm not walking away for good. She's ten months old now and doing much better. She still cries a lot more than DS did at that age, but it's more because she's so determined to do everything herself, but she can't yet

Some of y'all are really giving me hope! . Ds at 5mo is still very high needs, although it gets better everyday. He screamed for 12 hours from 6pm to 6am for the first 6 weeks of his life. He has MSPI and reflux. He still can't be put down for very long. He still has to be held for naps, which are 45 mins at most. I pretty much sit in a chair all day with him and wait for DH to get home so I can clean the house and go on a run. @MrsGeePerez: I'm still at the how does anybody have two kids stage lol.

High needs baby for sure! Comic, reflux, could NEVER be put down, cried all the time. He's 11 months and so much better and happier, but he still needs fairly constant one on one attention. He's not interested in independent play and I can't really put him down and get things done like friends can do with theirs.

I think all of the early crying and challenges have made me a more anxious parent. It's hard to overcome. I read an article comparing post-colic to a version of PTSD and I could relate.

@winter_wonder: My DD was very high needs but it has definitely improved as she has gotten older. Pretty much from the day she was born so always wanted to be held or be nursing (1hr plus long sessions early on). She was/is not the greatest napper but her nights sleep improved dramatically once the colic subsided and her reflux was under control.

My DH and I joke all the time that my DD would have been much happier if she was born at 6 months old Once she was able to roll and sit up she was so much happier.

So DS was/is high needs and like many others, at almost 3 he is scoring off the charts for cognitive/speech and physical development. I only know because our daycare was having such a tough time with him (still SUPER strong-willed) that they made us get an EI evaluation with the hope that they would get some free help handling him. They are now super mad that he didn't even come close to qualifying but DH and I are thrilled that he is so advanced! But yeah, as a baby he was not exactly a nightmare but definitely more challenging/draining than average. Even though he is our first I knew something was different because whenever we went places with other kids his age without fail he was the loudest, most physical and most difficult child there. It was like he was super mad 100% of the time until he finally learned to walk and talk. But man was he determined to do those things! He's definitely calmer/happier now but still not what I would consider normal at all.

LO was high needs from the very beginning - a typical colicky baby, and we dealt with hardcore separation anxiety when she started part-time daycare. Now, she's a fantastic sleeper (knock on wood) and a pretty easy going kid in that she's not too clingy or anything. But she's extremely strong willed and more active/spirited than a lot of her peers. She is also very advanced verbally and quite bright. It's all been worth it.