We all don't want spoiled kids and we want our kids to be ambitious and motivated but aside from all that, do you have a general philosophy of how you will parent your children?
I am a firm believer in tough love, being strict, having strong boundaries, and being obedient. My husband agrees with me but is already under LO's spell (daddy's little girl) that I'll probably end up as the "bad cop".
What's your parenting philosophy? Does your partner agree and are they on board?
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Now, we're not parents yet so take this with a grain of salt!
But our biggest thing is we want to parent as a unit. If one child comes to us and asks for something and we say no they will know that they can't go to the other and get a yes. I'm sure they will try! We will support each other's decisions. On big items we will tell them we have to talk to mom/dad and get back to you. We've always been a unit and in tuned with each other so we hope to carry that through to parenting.
They will work for what they get, appreciate what they have.
I can NOT stand bratty, temperamental kids that don't appreciate what they have.
The other big thing for both of us is we will treat boys AND girls equally. Being that our first will be a girl every time we agree to let her to do something we'll have to keep in mind it WILL be the same for a boy. If we don't want to let her date till 18 then if we have a boy he's not dating till he's 18 either! That's just a for example...my husband is saying she won't date till she's 35 - hahaha. And I say so I guess if we have a son he won't date till he's 35 either!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
I'm pretty strict too. I also believe that kids should work for the parents as much as possible. I don't want a dynamic where the kids treat the parents like servants.
So when I eat an orange, I make Charlie throw away the peels... and I'm also training him to give me back rubs and food rubs. Ok, I may be taking this one a little too far. 
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@mrbee: No way, man. Milk it for as long as you can - Charlie thinks it's a game to give massages!!! When I was little my older cousin used to let me walk on his back and I thought it was the best thing ever...And so did he! LOL.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@mrbee:
YES! When our nieces and nephews came to visit us I made them take their plates after each meal into the kitchen. My mom found it so hilarious bc she is like their servant! But I *insisted* that they did that.
And hygiene! My BIL is super OCD anal about cleanliness yet his daughter really isn't....
I thought being his daughter that going to wash your hands before and after meals would be second nature to her. But I literally had to tell her at each meal. If I didn't say anything even my MIL didn't! I was so shocked at that.
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@Rubies: Oh yah, we've started training him on backwalking too! He's not heavy enough though.... maybe I will have him wear a weighted backpack.
Kidding!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@mrbee: My cousin taught me how to karate-chop his back...That's a good one to try!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I don't think I have a philosophy. We're more of take things as they come kind of parents. Of course we have some ideas of the kind of parents we'd like to be.... but I learned quickly that you have to be flexible with LO's!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
DH and I are both strict so far. Our LO is pretty well behaved and I think she respects our authority because we don't bend the rules just because she is throwing a tantrum or doesn't feel well and that is the easy way out. I used to think it was so mean of my mom to tell me that she is not my friend but now I completely agree. I'd like to have a slightly more affectionate relationship with my daughter than I have with my mom but at the end of the day I am the boss so I'll dole out the tough love first.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Parent with my husband not against him
Help develop LO to her potential - sometimes it will mean taking cues from her interests, sometimes it will mean giving her a push in a different direction to help her explore
Be her biggest fan but not in a way that makes her think her poop smells like roses (though I do celebrate her potty poos a lot now)
Be respectful to her wants and needs (doesn't mean giving in to her wants and needs but at least attempt to acknowledge understand what point she is at) and expect respect from her in return.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Not parents yet, but we have begun to talk about how we want to parent this child. It is important for me to parent together and not have a bad cop/good cop. I want to make decisions together (mostly beacuse I know I would become bad cop, and I don't want that.) I want to raise a respectful, well behaved, independent child who knows he/she has every chance to discover to do what it loves and to grow into an individual, which isn't always easy in a small town.
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