I always wish I had a clean "yo mama" joke all teed up in the memory banks... but I got nothing. Bee loves corny jokes, but I don't even have any of those memorized.
I really gotta memorize a good joke or two. Do you have any to share?
Do you have any jokes memorized?
papaya / 10560 posts
gotta love pirate jokes.
what's a pirate's favorite letter? "aRRRRR."
what's a pirate's favorite fast food place? "aRRRRRby's."
what's a pirate's worst nightmare? a sunken chest with no booty!
coconut / 8854 posts
None, although I am a terrible joke/story teller. I'm known to have the never ending stories 
pomelo / 5073 posts
I have several.....one is a 'clean' and the other is 'dirty'.
One of my favs (we will see if anyone recognizes this one):
Q:What's green and says, "Hey, I'm a frog!"
A: a talking frog
That joke gets me every time.
Here's another one that is pretty stupid.
Q: What's green and moves?
A: Grass. I lied about it moving.
See, totally cheesy and not many people laugh at them, but they make me laugh.
I also have several Mary Jane jokes. I like those too. 
The dirty one is a long one.
cherry / 112 posts
I get all my jokes from my brother which means they're all kinds of cheesy. For example:
Q: Why did the hipster burn his hand while changing a lightbulb?
A: Because he changed it before it was cool.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick
pomelo / 5073 posts
@alongfarview: totally my kind of jokes! i am sitting here, actually Lol-ing. 
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
I love corny jokes and puns!
My go to jokes are lawyer jokes (I'm a lawyer):
Q: How does a lawyer go to bed?
A: First he lies on one side then he lies on the other
Q: What's the name of the new sushi place that all the lawyers go to?
A: So-sue-me
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
I like bad jokes.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Tri Tip
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef
How did the blond break her leg? Fell out of a tree raking leaves
How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
How can you tell a blond's been using the computer? White-out on the screen
Why is online shopping hard for a blond? No slot for her to run her credit card
Why was the blond stuck at the yield sign? She couldn't figure out if she should stop or go or stop or go or stop or .....
What's black and white and red all over? A sebra with a sunburn, a newspaper, a skunk in a blender (Choose whichever answer you prefer)
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
I have about a million Harry Potter your mama jokes in my head. Very useful!
pomelo / 5331 posts
These aren't clean in the strictest sense of the word, but here you go:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, "Hey man, you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, right?" And the pirate says, "Arrrrrrrrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
OK, another one:
A penguin was driving to the beach one day, and all of a sudden, his car broke down. He was lucky to be right near a mechanic, so he took the car in and walked around to wait. It was so hot outside, though, that he just had to stop for ice cream. Being a penguin, it was kind of hard to eat the ice cream without getting it all over his face. By the time he walked back to the mechanic, he had vanilla ice cream just smeared all over the place. He walks in, and the mechanic looks up from the car and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
Ba-dum-ching.
persimmon / 1453 posts
Knock knock!
Who's there?
You know...
You know who?
AVADA KEDAVRA!
This disturbing one is courtesy of my 14 year old brother.
Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A: A baby in a trash compactor.
Wanna hear a great joke?
Women's rights.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
My go to is:
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling crumby!
HAHAHA.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
Haha these are awesome. My cheesiest (hehe) joke is What kind of cheese isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE! LOL so lame.
apricot / 453 posts
I don't have many.
But this is always a fun, awkward moment that I enjoy....
Me: "Okay, I have a knock, knock joke but you have to start it."
Friend: "Ok, Knock! Knock!"
Me: "Who's there?"
Friend: ?????
Then you just stare at them....b/c they aren't sure how to go on.
Then there is this old standby....
How do you make a kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
And then this other favorite knock knock joke
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Impatient Cow.
Impatient C--
MOOOOOOOOOOO! (before they finish)
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! (no-eyed deer)
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? *Still* no idea!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
apricot / 359 posts
Just cheesy pick up lines from me
Did you just fart because you blew me away!
If you were a booger I'd pick you first!
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