Hellobee Boards

Yep, i've had days like this. I just don't know how I could do it. I have had to put her down in her swing or on the floor and just walk out of the room and re-group. I think it's normal to feel so overwhelmed and tired sometimes. It's a full time job where you don't get any scheduled coffee breaks, lunch breaks or days off. I hope you are able to get some alone time and don't ever feel like a crap mom.

Yes, absolutely! Some days I want so badly to go back to work and have conversations with other adults and get to wear nice clothes again. Other days, it's perfect and I'm so happy.

Someone on Hellobee (can't remember who) said something along the lines of "Motherhood is like any other job in that you have some terrible days and some really great ones." This really rings true for me and it's something I keep in the back of my mind when things are tough.

Absolutely. Luckily the good moments outweigh the bad but when sleep is not happening it is really hard to stay positive. My mantra has been "its just a phase, this will pass". I'm trying my best to cherish all the good moments but sometimes when he is screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night it is really hard.

@lags: you sound like a wonderful mom. I'm glad to hear that today has been better for you. I'm not sure about you but before I had LO I was one if those people that had to have at least 7.5 hours of consecutive sleep a night to function normally. So when I can only get 3 hours of sleep at a time, it makes it very hard for my brain to function the same way. Everything seems harder and set backs are more frustrating. Add a crying, fussy baby to the mix and emotions can get out of hand. So don't feel bad if you're having a hard time.

I was really resistant to sleep training too. I couldn't bear to hear LO cry. I tried all sorts of gentler methods of sleep training that minimized crying and it would work about half the time. He could put himself to sleep about half the time, and he could stay asleep until morning a out half the time. But since he hit 6 months it all went out the window. I think it had something to do with him discovering object permanence. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of rocking him for over an hour just to have him wake up again in 40 minutes, I was going crazy and couldn't donut anymore. Even when I decided to let him cry it out, I almost gave up a few times and he only cried at most 1 hour. It was tough. But it's so worth it now.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Hugs!

Yes! And then I get an hour or so away to myself and I miss them like crazy and realize I just need my alone time once in awhile to be a good mom.

I felt like this every single day for the first 2 months. You are not alone.

You ARE a mom. You are doing it! Every day! Each day is an accomplishment. Do NOT compare yourself to other moms. You are doing the best you can, and it is very easy to feel incompetent/defeated/overwhelmed when you are not sleeping!

There were so many days I felt like I wasn't cut out for motherhood...I said it out loud many times. What was I thinking? How did I think I could do this? I'm a terrible mother. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

A lot of that was my PPD talking, a lot of it was also sleep deprivation. And a lot in part to just being a first-time mom. It's really the craziest/hardest transition you will ever face in your life.

You're doing a great job! Hang in there...there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you will feel more confident as time goes on.

I would REALLY encourage you to NOT clean while she naps. We stay at home mothers don't get any breaks besides naptime - not to eat, not to pee, not for a second. When I started cleaning while my baby was awake and reserving naptime for myself, my life got a lot better. It is impossible to function with zero breaks or downtime. Taking a break when you can is just good mothering.

And also, I like to teach the lesson that keeping a home is hard but rewarding work. I don't want my daughter to think that the house magically cleans it's self while she naps - I want her to see the effort that I put into it and to learn to help in age appropriate ways. I don't think of it as ignoring her at all, I think of it as showing her what it takes to run a home and keep it nice for everyone to enjoy.

And on another tack, I really gave myself permission to be less that perfect when I got to feeling like you do. I don't believe in watching tv around a baby. Well, when I'm exhausted, we put on Sesame Street. Or the evening news. It's great to have high standards for yourself, but you should really try to give yourself a break if you need it. Order takeout, put on a dvd. Make your life a little easier and try to rest up for tomorrow.