This may be a weird question, but do you interact with your infant the whole time she/he is awake? I'm asking this because I like to write and draw but haven't really been able for the past 5 months since DS has been around. My DH suggests that I just set DS in his bouncy chair and draw or write. But I feel guilty doing that, as if I should be entertaining or interacting with him or just holding him when he's awake. He's still so little he can't really "play" by himself except to kick or put toys in his mouth. What do you all think? Would I be a bad mother by just letting him chill while I do my own thing?
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Nope, I think it is good for them! He is more than happy to entertain himself on the floor (6 months) while I do stuff.
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No. I'm in the room with him because he hates the bouncer/swing but I give him a good amount of independent play time on the floor (he can get into his toy basket, although he usually just likes to chew on them).
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i know how you feel (i always felt a bit weird going on the computer etc when LO was little), but i think it is good for them too! they learn how to entertain themselves, and to have alone time. you could put him nearby in a bouncy chair and give him funny faces and kisses every few minutes, and then pick him up every 10-20 mins or something like that?
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I'm with you! My LO is 5 mo and I interact with him all day long!
If he's playing with a toy I will HB or play candy crush but I don't have time to work, or do any of my crafts.
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No, not at all! I've always made it a point to give LO some independent play time each day from a very early age, both for her development, and for my sanity! As a newborn, I'd place her in her swing facing outdoors so she could watch the trees and patterns of the leaves. As she got a bit older, I'd lay her down on her play mat and let her kick around and bat at the hanging toys. Once she started sitting up, I'd put toys around her and let her choose what she wanted to play with. And now at 11 months, I leave her to decide what she wants to do on her own. All of her toys and books are within her reach, so she just crawls to what she wants and takes it.
Of course I interact with her frequently and talk to her loads, but I'm not right there playing with her all the time. Sometimes I just want to read a book, or drink a cup of coffee, or play on the computer. I don't think babies need nonstop interaction as it's important for them to learn how to entertain themselves. I also frequently use music and audiobooks in the background to provide exposure to language for LO when she's playing independently, but I think it's great she can play on her own.
Just to clarify though, I do spend a lot of time playing with her, talking to her, and reading stories with her, but she definitely entertains herself for part of each day and I think we're all better off for it. She still has a great attachment to us and loves spending time playing with us, but she's also quite happy to play on her own.
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@Ree723: I'm so glad to hear all of this! I feel the same way but I stress all the time about whether I should interact with him instead of letting him play by himself. Sometimes it's just nice to hear it reiterated from another parent
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@Running Elley: I know! It's so hard sometimes to know the right thing to do! The way I figure it though, subsequent children aren't going to have the benefit of our undivided attention and they always seem to turn out fine (non-first borns in general) so I think it's ok. And besides, E looks like the happiest little guy around, so you are definitely doing something right!
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C has always had independent play time. When she was tiny, Id put her in the swing and shes chat with the birdsmon the mobile. Wen she got a little bigger, it was on a blanket on the floor. Now, she just roams all over.
You know what it did to her? It turned her into a kid who can entertain herself. She already has a good imagination, which is what I wanted to foster. Like Ree, I normally throw some music on and she plays happily with her toys.
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Let your kid Learn to entertain himself and be bored! Otherwise he may need constant stimulation from you and other sources. Just like self soothing, they have to learn to be imaginative.
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When I told my midwife I was stressed and tired from trying to entertain my newborn all day long when she's awake she told me that's insane and not to do it! She's almost 6 weeks now and I try to put her in her swing a little bit each day while I do something "alone", like eat my breakfast, even though I'm still watching her and I'm not technically alone. She's also starting to notice toys, so I'll be trying the playmat activity gym thing soon.
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Xander's 3 months, but like @Ree723, we give him plenty of time to entertain himself, from sitting in his swing or bouncy and just looking around, to laying on his activity mat and batting at the hanging toys. I definitely didn't want to end up with a 3-year-old that couldn't entertain himself, so he gets lots of independent time (and plenty of attention from Mom & Dad too - just not constant)!
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Thanks for everyone's replies. I know DS needs to entertain himself (and he can when I put him down because I HAVE to do something: laundry, dishes, trash, bathroom, etc.). I just have been feeling guilty putting him down because I WANT to do something for me. But I think in the end it will make me a better mom (more sane!) and him a better kid.
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Nope! Independent play is very important for their development. We let LO chill on his activity mat or in his jumperoo and he lets us know when he wants us! And yes, doing your own thing will absolutely make you a better mom and ultimately be much more healthy to him than constantly tending to him and becoming even the slightest bit resentful
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Of course we spend most of the day playing or working together, but I'm a better mom when I get a few minutes to not be "on." Giving her some time on her activity mat or whatever gives me the equivalent of a trip to the water cooler or a coffee break if I was still in an office, and who doesn't need that once in a while! I do think too that it's good for her to have a little time to be independent. She seems to reach more physical milestones (pushing up, scooting, rolling) when I'm watching her from a little distance than when she's distracted by playing with me.
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Nope. Let her play on her mat by herself. She lets us know when she is done and wants attention
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