Most of my friends dream of having a family which includes children. I have 2 friends who deliberately chose NOT to have kids. Their reasons were mainly financial but also because they said they didn't feel that they had strong motherly instincts and didn't think they would be good moms.
Do you know any who chose not to have kids? If so, what were their reasons?
pear / 1837 posts
Oh sure. Friends who were really devoted to their careers and didn't feel that having a family was compatible with the path they wanted to take work-wise, friends who liked their lifestyle as is and didn't feel the urge to introduce kids into it, friends who (or whose partner) had a mental illness that- while mostly under control- didn't really lend itself to parenting, friends who were older when they found their partners and didn't want to have children later in life... and plenty of people who are childless by choice (I think) and who've never discussed their reasons with me.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i have several friends who have decided to not have kids. their lives are fulfilling with lots of hobbies and interests, and they have plenty of nieces and nephews that act as birth control haha.
squash / 13199 posts
I know two ladies that chose not to have kids but they were more my parents age so I couldnt ask them why they decided not have kids. All my friends in my age group want kids at some point in their lives
eggplant / 11824 posts
We have many friends without children. What it basically boils down to is that they all feel their lives are complete, full and don’t lack any sort of meaning without having children. They never felt a need to have kids, whether societal pressure, or from a biological clock.
I never really wanted children for all the same reasons, never felt my bio clock “tick” and would have been perfectly happy to not have children if my husband didn’t want to have a child.
kiwi / 534 posts
I have two friends that don't want children. One just simply says she never wanted any and the other just never wanted to slow her career down to do so. While I don't share their sentiment and can't ever imagine not having children I do respect their very valid feelings. 
kiwi / 534 posts
Yoursilverlining How selfless of a partner are you? That's wonderful of you to fulfill his wishes for a family even though you would feel happy and complete with or without a child!
pear / 1723 posts
I have numerous friends and family who have chosen not to have kids. Some are related to medical/physical issues combined with lack of finances or desire to adopt. Some just don't have the parenting drive and would rather focus on careers, pets, hobbies, etc.
I will say that most truly enjoy the time spent around other people's kids, and are fantastic aunts/uncles and otherwise great supporters.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@ecogirl: Thanks! We talked about children A LOT both before and after marriage and are both happy with our decision to expand our family – but neither of us think having kids defined us as a family, and yeah, if my husband had not wanted a kid, that would have been ok with me too. 
I love children a lot, I just personally never felt a need to have them, or pictured them as a necessary part of my future/family - so that's a lifestyle choice I can understand.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I don't think any of my close friends or family members will be child free. I think some of my co-works are child free. I don't know if it's by choice or if it never happened.
kiwi / 534 posts
Yoursilverlining I feel the same way about family! We have always said that we were a family of 2 when we got married and now we're just adding to it!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Yes, they were enjoying their lives as is and didn't want anything to change by having kids.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
None of my friends fall into this, however I have a coworker who never got married/had children because she said it wasn't for her.
My father in law's best friend and his wife never had children and spoiled my DH and his brother instead. They said it was the best of both worlds, give the toys/gifts and not have to listen to the fighting over them. They seem very happy parenting their two dogs.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I have a few friends who like kids but don't want their own. They are really into their careers and travels.
honeydew / 7968 posts
i know 2 people.... 1. my cousin - she (currently about 40?) married an older man who already has a kid and he didn't want any more - was agreed upon before they married. 2. i have a friend who's not married and doesn't intend to be and doesn't need to have children. (she's in a long-term relationship). she's one of those, if i have children, that's fine, if i don't, that's fine. she's happy with the way her life is now.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I have a friend who says she doesn't think she'll want kids, but I honestly think she does and just doesn't think she will ever get married and have children. It's probably easier for her to say she doesn't want it then that she won't/can't have it.
I think she's just too worried she'll turn into her mom, so she can't seem to find her place anywhere. And since she isn't ready to settle down anywhere, she's not ready to settle down with anybody either.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
My cousin got married later in life and she and her husband are not planning to have children. They have two huge lovely rescue pitties instead I have other friends who aren't planning on having children for many other reasons. No judgement from me-- they make great adopted aunts and uncles for RJ
pear / 1764 posts
I know two woman who are choosing not to have children. Both want to focus on their careers & one says that she just never has felt that urge or need to be maternal
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