One of my coworkers has a 6 year old daughter. He and his wife have been TTCing for their second child for almost 5 years. 
You might also enjoy...
-
That almost sounds harder than dealing with it upfront.
-
I had a friend who dealt with it. It was very difficult for them, but I don't think it took as long as it did with your friends. I think they took 3 years.
-
My mother. She never conceived again, after me. And I had trouble conceiving my daughter, and have been unable to conceive again. Noooooooo stress.
I'm not sure I agree that it would be harder that way. When I wasn't getting pregnant the first time, I was thinking, am I ever going to get pregnant? Ever going to give birth, to breastfeed, to raise a child? Am I ever going to get to be a mother? Now that I've done all those thing, and now that I'm a mother, those fears are all gone. It would be really sad to not get to have the family size I'd like, but I'm a mother. Hands down, that's enough.
-
There is a couple at our church that had this issue. After prayers and some help from the doctor they ended up with multiples instead of the one they had in mind!
-
I also have a couple at our church that have an 8 year old son and have been trying for another child but cant get pregnant.
-
@sarac: That's what I was thinking too-- that the first would still be more stressful, since after you have one, you are a mother. But I've never been in the situation so I really don't know.
-
@Leialou: I think it sounds difficult either way. My coworker told me he wants to shelter his wife from all the "you need to give your child a sibling" comments from people who don't know what is going on!
-
I have friends who were the reverse. It took them a long time to get pregnant with #1 so they started trying for #2 earlier than they wanted to, anticipating the same thing. Of course they get pregnant right away!
-
My mom. My brother and I are 8 years apart!
-
A friend of mine is going through this right now.
-
Yes, I know a few people that took 5-7 years to conceive #2. And that's why DH is 7 years younger than his brother.
-
This is my fear. It seemed so easy to conceive and bring to full term our son, now 2.5 yrs old. We're going through our third consecutive miscarriage and while the loss is devastating, it's the fear of not being able to have another that weighs heavier.
-
My friend's Sister had 2 daughters about 2yrs apart... It then took about 8yrs to conceive their 3rd and they've gone on to have 3 and 4 in 18mths and are now pregnant with their 5th.
-
@stp: I'm so sorry for you that you are going through that! I hope you'll get a sticky baby very soon!
-
@stp: god bless!
-
I have a good friend who is dealing with this. She got pregnant with her daughter when she was engaged (one night of unprotected sex!). They got married that year and have been trying for a second for 5-6 years I think. The hardest part is their daughter wants a sibling very badly. They had a heartbreaking failed adoption and are now doing IUI again. She's in the 2ww right now - please send them good thoughts/prayers!
-
My former co-worker got pregnant with her first when she just got married (unplanned...she found out she was pregnant bc she went to the doc thinking she had the flu)...she tried to have a second for YEARS...couldn't get pregnant and learned to accept that she had one amazing daughter. 14 years later she felt super sick for days and went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant with her second.
-
I have a friend who is going through it. She has a 4 year old and has been trying to have a second for almost 3 years now.
-
@stp: I too have a 2.5 son, whom we were able to concieve and carry to term on our own. We also have been through 3 consecutive miscarriages, all very early. I definitely understand what you are going through... it's been one of the most heartbreaking and frustrating things I've ever been through. Sending you lots of sticky vibes, please let me know if they ever figure out what the issue may be with you!
-
Me! We have a 2yo and we've been TTC for about 1.5yrs. I actually had my IUI this morning. Wish us luck!
-
My mom. She conceived and had me easily, but then suffered 5 early miscarriages and a ectopic pregnancy before she finally conceived my brother. We are 5.5 years apart. They wanted 3 kids, but by the time she got pregnant with my brother at 38, she didn't feel she could have another.
-
@Pepper: Was your mom ever put on treatment for her miscarriages, or did she just keep trying and eventually have a sucessful pregnancy?
-
@kimjsugar: Thank you, and sending you lots of sticky vibes as well. After my first two, my family doctor referred me to the fertility clinic to see a reproductive endocrinologist. They started with the standard tests (hormones, baseline ultrasound of uterus, saline flush ultrasound to make sure tubes are open etc) and the only thing they found was that my TSH was ever so slightly elevated around 2.6 (they like to see it below 2.5). I started on a low dose of thyroid medicine right around the time I found out I was pregnant again. After I found out I was pregnant they tested progesterone again and that looked good too. We were encouraged when we saw the heartbeat at 6 wks then solid growth and a strong heartbeat again at 8w4d so finding out at the almost 12wk scan that baby stopped growing was a shock. Now I wait for the miscarriage process to start (am trying to avoid surgery if I can). If I learn anything else I'll let you know!
@mrsmate: Good luck!
-
@stp: I've had about every single test possible done, and they still can't figure out what may be the cause of the miscarriages. I'm about to start a cycle where I will empirically be taking 4 different medications "just in case". I am so sorry that you are going through a 3rd miscarriage, I've never gotten to the point where we've been able to see anything on the ultrasound, and I think I'm almost glad we haven't been able to. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you won't have to go through this again, thanks for sharing your story!
@mrsmate: good luck with your iui, we may go this route soon!
-
@kimjsugar: She was never put on treatment. From what she says, the options were very limited back in the eighties, much more so than than they are now. I'm very sorry that you're going through such a tough time. Sticky vibes to you (and everyone else dealing with this)!
-
@stp: @kimjsugar: So sorry to hear about both of your struggles
Have either of you been tested for MTHFR? Its very common (~30% of Caucasians have at least 1 mutation), though not many women get tested for it, despite it being a cause for miscarriage. I recently found out I have 2 mutations of it after a m/c, and it was likely the cause. Hope you both get answers soon!
-
@stp: @kimjsugar: my heart goes out to you both. Wishing you medical clarity and sticky pregnancies soon. xo
-
My mom and dad struggled with secondary infertility. They only had me.. and I was an oopsie. My mom wanted a housefull of kids... but she never looked into the cause.
-
@Pepper: @Mrs.Someone: @Mrs.Confetti: thank you all! I have been tested for blood clotting disorders and they've returned negative, but they may eventually put me on lovenox in the future just in case if I have anymore miscarriages. I am so, so incredibly grateful that we have one perfect, little boy, but it's still a really difficult situation to be in.
@Mrs.Someone: I'm happy that you found the cause to your miscarriage!
-
my mom - she had trouble conceiving and was told she could never have kids again after a m/c after my older sister. I was a surprise 7 years later.
-
@Kimo: all your posts are really interesting to me. I had two chemical pregnancies before we conceived LO. the chemicals were on 50mg Clomid (wasn't ovulating much) and LO came on 100mg Clomid. I can't be sure of course if that was luck or the higher dose that worked.
I was hoping for a "reset" they said might happen after carrying to term, and it did seem to get me ovulating more regularly, but I am currently waiting for the end of my 3rd chemical. I just got in to see a new RE and am hoping to try the Clomid again. I had basically every test run after my second loss but nothing came back abnormal, so I am just hoping the Clomid will fix it again. I'm really sad about the idea that something is broken but they don't know what
I agree with all the posts about this time around feeling better than the first (although it is very early days for me and I'm hoping we can succeed within a year). this time when I get sad, I go hug my LO and think about how great she is and know that it will be ok.
-
@bhbee: So sorry to hear you're struggling with this again
I've now had 2 m/cs and my doctor thinks its autoimmune. Its a pretty controversial cause, but more and more docs are believing in it. Have you been tested for those too?
-
@Mrs.Someone: what is the testing like for that? I got tested for stuff like MTHFR, clotting, genetic stuff, but not sure about autoimmune. I did bring it up with my last RE but he wasn't very interested - some autoimmune stuff runs in my family (RA, etc) and I've had some mild autoimmune-related problems. definitely something to ask about with the new RE!
also curious what potential treatment looks like if they think it is an autoimmune problem? have you gotten into that at all? really appreciate the info.
-
@bhbee: I too was hoping for that 'reset' after clomid. And while I seem to be cycling somewhat normally (at least two months out of three), I'm currently waiting to see if I'll get my period or something better. 16 months we've been trying now.
And it is different. It's really painful, certainly. But when we were struggling to conceive our first, I wondered, will I ever get to be a mother? Will I ever be pregnant and give birth? Do I ever get to count myself among women who can do this? And my answer was eventually, yes. I would be heartbroken to never have another. But to not have had the first would be to miss out on one of the things I knew I could not live without.
-
@sarac: hope you get good news soon!! the roller coaster of emotions is so hard no matter what. I teared up just reading your post and remembering those feelings trying for #1. I do feel very blessed to have made it through once.
-
@bhbee: I'm happy to give you the info! Autoimmune issues are thought by some doctors to be the cause of a lot of "unexplained" infertility. Both my losses were at around 5 weeks, very early. Here are some links for you:
http://www.conceiveonline.com/articles/autoimmune-diseases-and-your-fertility
http://www.repro-med.net/repro-med-site2/
http://www.acfs2000.com/basic_services/repeated-pregnancy-loss-habitual-abortion.htmlThese are the things I was tested for (blood test): Antiphospholipid Syndrome, Comprehensive (APTT, Immediate APTT Mixing Studies, Anticardiolipin Antibody (IgG, IgM, IgA), Antiphosphatidylserine Antibodies (IgG, IgM), Beta-2-Glycoprotein I Antibodies (IgG, IgM, IgA), Antiprothrombin Antibodies (IgG, IgM), dRVVT, Hexagonal Phospholipid Neutralization, Platelet Neutralization Procedure, Lupus Anticoagulant Interpretation)
Treatment is different depending on what you end up having (if anything). Autoimmune issues definitely run in families, even if they are different diseases. I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and tested elevated for Anticardiolipins. In hopes of being able to support a pregnancy, I am on an anti-inflammatory diet which includes being gluten-free, as well as avoiding foods I was tested to produce antibodies for (another a blood test). I was also put on a daily baby aspirin. We've only been trying for 2 months post-loss, so its hard to tell yet if its working. I was on one other supplement that seemed to be making my digestive issues worse, so I just stopped taking that yesterday hoping I'll start feeling better. All of this has been through my naturopath. I've heard of REs treating these issues with Lovenox, so I'll be asking about that soon.
Good luck! Let me know if you have any other questions.
-
@bhbee: I just wanted to let you know I am currently 8 weeks pregnant, and that we saw a heartbeat and a healthy baby in there at 7 weeks. I ended up going through about 4 months of fertility treatments with femara, estradiol, steroids, and an iui with no luck. We ended up switching REs and the cycle before we were supposed to start new medications (after taking a couple months off) I ended up getting pregnant on my own. I hadn't gotten pregnant in over a year since my last chemical pregnancy and this time it stuck. I started progesterone and baby aspirin as soon as I got my first positive test. The past few weeks have definitely been super scary and stressful, but this is the furthest I've gotten in a pregnancy in 2 years so I am so thankful that we've made it this far.
I'm so sorry that you are going through your third chemical. It's mentally a really tough thing to go through, even if you already have a child. I'm hoping so hard for you that going back onto Clomid will be the key, and that you'll be in my position soon!
-
@kimo: @mrs.someone: thanks so much for the info and good wishes! I am trying to think positively. we started trying on the early side (of our ideal timing) in case this happened and now I am so glad we did.
kimo - sending lots of sticky baby dust to you! you've made it so far already. I always like to hear that it happens without meds sometimes!
-
@bhbee: @kimo Good wishes to you both. I feel really lucky to have been spared repeated miscarriages.
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
46 comments