Hellobee Boards

@Skadi: There's something to what you are saying.

Jojogirl, I still need an "other". I couldn't ever regret LO because then she wouldn't be in my life. BUT, I don't neceasarily love being a mom either. I don't regret her, but I kind of regret how my life is now. And since I can't have one without the other, then I have to choose "no" to your poll. But just choosing "no" kind of simplifies it too much.

...not sure if that made any sense.

I would answer "other" if I could. I always wanted to be a mom, I LOVE my two girls, BUT I wish I would have waited a few more years and had some more time with my husband alone. That is my only regret.

@hilsy85: You said it! I could definitely use a pause button every now and then.

@JoJoGirl: I think what @Raindrop meant was that parents who seek out parenting forums would be more likely to not be regretful of having kids, which I think makes sense. (I think most parents regretful of having kids would not want to talk about parenting/kid stuff in their free time?) But it is an interesting question, just shows how different life choices can be for people.

I absolutely DO NOT regret having D. However, having him has made me realize that one is all I need/want. Hubs and I talked about this the other night and both think that another baby would put too big a strain on us financially, which would cause a ripple effect of other issues. I don't regret one, but I think I'd regret 2.

@JoJoGirl: Haha okay. I guess I was thinking... I really care about being a parent so I'm on a parenting board. I'm sure if I regretted and maybe I'm wrong that might equal to not caring as much as your kid so thus not being interesting in a parenting board.

I mean I love LO and I want to know what's the best I can do for him and this parenting board has really helped me find those answers and maybe if I was not feeling the parenting thing... I would just do whatever with him and not care if it was "the best" way to go about it. If that makes sense.

Thus I assumed (maybe wrongly so) that people here were here for those same reasons. Aka loved their kids and want to know the best products and techniques for their kids.

@JoJoGirl: *big hugs* To each their own. Whatever brings us together, we are here to support each other right? Hehe.

This is an interesting question. I don't regret having LO and I look forward to having another, but I wish I appreciated just how free I was financially before she came along. Rationally, I know I won't be bleeding 10s of 1000s in daycare $$$ forever, but this parenting gig would be way easier if I had that extra cash now.

Absolutely not. My husband & I often talk about how life felt so meaningless before our daughter. I feel like she gives me purpose.

This is such an interesting question, because of course the 'correct answer' is Oh, goodness no!" With that said, I don't regret having LO, I truly adore him, but I think that its totally normal to just not love being a parent all the time. I don't want to get on a 'society' rant but it sometimes feels like if our (especially moms) lives aren't anything other than rainbows once you have a LO then you are doing something wrong, and of course your life before must have been meaningless in comparison!
My life before LO was not empty, if we hadn't had him, it still wouldn't be empty - but I'm eternally glad that we do have him - he just doesn't define my life, which I think is good for both of us (what kid needs that pressure!).

I also think that just because someone regrets having a LO (maybe they were too young, the circumstances weren't right, whatever) it doesn't mean that they don't care about or love their child, maybe they just have to work harder to make it all work , and frankly, that deserves respect- not everyone is a natural born mother, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Nope, I love being a mom. Ask me again when she's 15.

No. But sometimes the thought creeps into my head about a childfree by choice life and it just sounds....lovely sometimes.

I had this thought frequently when E was little, though. WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I HATE MY LIFE.

but i don't always love being a parent/mom. Sometimes i think i am not cut out for it or that i am simply just not parent material.

I'm sure there are lots of parents who regret having kids. People who can barely make ends meet, who are poor and stressed out, in bad life situations, fighting their own demons, super young, date raped, whatever.....98% of us on Hellobee live damn good lives and aren't in those situations. I feel for people who are.

I would 100% go back and not have kids if I had the option to. Of course, they're never going to know that, but I'm much more selfish than I thought? So, yes, while I love them with all of my heart and life is wonderful (most of the time) with them, I would be childfree.

@Grace: *nods* I think I understand where you are coming from and I feel similar. I really love LO and I care about being a parent and I always wanted to be a mom but I was definitely lost when I first became a mother.

I think also it's hard to find what kind of mother you want to be. My mother was pushing me one way (her way) but that didn't feel right so being on these boards really helped at least figure some of that out.

I definitely still don't feel comfortable about being a mother and even doubt if I'm doing all the right things for LO but at least I want to try and do the best I can and I feel being on the boards helps me do that.

I think what we all have in common is that we all definitely love our LOs and are trying our best by them. Hopefully we can all comfort, support and help each other no matter what level of confidence we have at being a parent.

Nope. She's the best thing ever. But we waited w long time to have kids so all the travel and adventure happened before kids.

In the first 3-4 months yes I totally regretted it! But now...oh my goodness, she is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me by far. I am absolutely enamored with her. That is not to say there arent tough times because there totally are and I'm sure there will be a lot of even tougher times to come but she provides my husband and I with a level of happiness and love that we didn't know existed before she came along.

@hilsy85: Couldn't agree with you more! DH and LO are my two most favorite people in the world; however, DH and I need a little bit more alone time. I just got back from a 3 day business trip, and while I missed DH and LO terribly, it was nice to get away for a few days and have a great night's sleep...get up and go for a run...and just have some "me" time too.

It took me a while to think of my answer. Because I definitely feel like I missed out on some married time with no kids and so many more places I wanted to travel etc......But i absolutely don;t regret having my son at the age I am, if anything i was wish i was younger when i had kids. He is truly the light of my life and the best thing that ever happened. I realize what I regret is all the years I gave to higher education and I feel that took away from doing more of the things I wanted. So sometimes given that I am still finishing up my PhD and I have an almost 2 year old, I wish i waited till after I graduated to have kids (it was supposed to be that way but we had a surprise pregnancy)., but then i think about my age and wish I had kids sooner! It is what it is and i hope to feel better about everything next month when i finally do graduate. I think having my weekends back will make a difference (i have been working full time at a job and working on dissertation on the weekends).

eta. and I know i want some more travel experiences in life and I will have them either with kids in tow, with the kids spending a week at grandma's (or summer camp, who knows), or when we are much older and the kids don't have want to come on vacation with us anymore....it will happen though just not as initially planned.