Hellobee Boards

I do not censor myself on facebook - I figure that they've friended me, they can see the real me. I would only stifle myself in person to the point of being polite.

With my friends I am incredibly sarcastic. My husband's family speaks a different language and the sarcasm does not translate AT ALL. So...yeah, I guess I do Hell, my husband sometimes doesn't get it and looks at me in horror when I say things or make jokes.

Same as @sarac, except in my case it's my family that's uptight, not the in-laws. I do try to sort of "dumb things down" (which is terribly rude to say, but I don't know how else to phrase it) because my vocabulary is significantly larger than any of their's and people tend to think you're talking down to them if you use a lot of words they don't know.

I'll have one or two drinks with them vs. the three or four (or five....) drinks I'll have with my own family, but other than that, no stifling. I can act like myself around them as much as I would around anyone else.

I definitely am more reserved with my inlaws because of a lot of issues and things that happened in the past. I have my inlaws on FB, but have them on a restricted list. They can't see anything unless they're included based on settings. My MIL liberally took my pictures from my Shutterfly and FB. I locked the settings on it to prevent it. I felt like my pictures weren't my own because of how she treated them.

For example, I haven't seen the pics she took when we visited. She doesn't share them with us. I figure I share ours with restrictions to be open, but not give her more than an inch. She's the type that takes advantage of you by being given an inch and taking a mile.

Hmm, I think the only thing I stifle is my very liberal views, he's from a family full of conservatives and well I'm the oppostie. However to avoid debating/arguing I bite my tongue, which is not always easy, they tend to leave so far right it can come off discriminating and that is hard for me to sit and listen too. Otherwise I'm pretty much myself.

when we had a relationship, yes. we have religious differences, cultural differences, language differences.... we have almost nothing in common. ways i have been told to alter my appearance or behavior: i wear too much dark clothing, i need to wear brighter outfits; i'm too white ("do you stay that color ALL YEAR?? you would look healthier if you got some color."); i am not supposed to have opinions & if i do they are not to be shared publicly; i'm not to swear (this i am fine with, i don't swear in front of people if it makes them uncomfortable, but i certainly swear in front of my parents!); i am to serve men their meals first; when entering a room i am to greet men first in order of their age and status level, then women; i am not to disagree with my husband, i am to guide him toward good, but not to have any say in final decisions; i am to contribute financially, but i am not to expect him to contribute to domestic chores; i am to be silent regarding acts of violence or crimes their family takes part in; i am not truly a woman or a wife unless i bare children and i am to continue having them until i have at least one son.

we no longer have a relationship because i just can't handle all of the change they required of me, it was killing me

@mrs. bird: I have no words. You poor thing! Your IL's make mine seem relatively tame!!

Nope, I'm pretty open with them. I used to bite my tongue around touchy topics and things they would say, but I've learned to politely disagree too instead of just silently being passive or in their eyes "agreeing" with them.

They're oft the ones to joke around and swear more openly around me, so I don't feel stifled at all.

@coopsmama: i could go on, they're pretty awful. them being crazy doesn't mean you don't have valid reasons to butt heads with your own! i'm actually feeling pretty good about where things are at with them! at a counseling session recently, our minister said he would not support it if mr. bird were to expect me to have a relationship with them that i didn't want, that he doesn't see anything positive about me choosing to expose myself to them at this point and that mr. bird can choose to see them and still respect me and my choice not to. i have no idea why that was such a monumental moment for me, but for the first time i felt heard about exactly how detrimental i find them to my wellbeing & since then i've felt optimistic about the future for the first time in a long time. that's my long way of saying, thanks! they're bat sh!t crazy, but i'm going to be just fine!

I do stifle myself in person to a certain extent - moreso with the extended inlaw family, not my MIL and FIL - although they certainly know what I think (I'm also pretty liberal and they are all hardcore conservatives). I don't change anything for anyone on social media though - if what I share/post bothers them, they are free to unfriend me

I can completely be myself with my inlaws. We are all crazy there.