In the event that both you and SO pass away, do you have guardians chosen for your kids?
Did you ask them? Or is it just stated in your will and you didn't let them know?
We have finally decided and will be asking them the next time we see them.
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DH and I sincerely can't decide. We definitely would not pick our siblings. Our parents are an option but that can only last so long.
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I would definitely let people know you picked them as guardians. Finding out via a will that you're suddenly expected to take on children is kind of a big surprise!
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Yes, we asked permission of the first two people in line (MIL first, then my dad).
@Eko: This was us too. Eventually we just decided on parents. We figure our parents are healthy now and we can change our wills if that situation changes.
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Of course. I wouldn't leave my child with someone without checking with them first.
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@Eko: You sound like us.
If/when we come to peace with some sort of decision, we will definitely ask first.
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Absolutely. I would never put that responsibility on someone without asking. We have also been asked to take my sisters 3 kids if that unfortunate event should ever occur.
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@Bao: Thinking of how many kids I could have if I had to take my siblings, is one reason we are good with stopping at two kids even though we would consider more.
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@Boogs: @Eko: we are in a similar place - I have one sister we would trust but definitely wouldn't raise our kids like we would. We have thinking about it for two years and still haven't decided/asked!
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@LatteLove: It's so hard, you love people, but the way they discipline and raise their kids is so different.
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@catlady: see, I guess I look at it as, if we died tomorrow, who would be best equipped to take care of my children until they're 18?
@LatteLove: It's taken us four years and we've gone back and forth. Finally it just came down to they might not raise our kids exactly the same way we would. But, we know without a sliver of a doubt that they will LOVE our children and our children will never ever be made to feel like an outcast. Just stupid stuff like they would never buy clothes from Salvation Army for our kids then dress their kids in Gap. Stupid stuff that for kids will make a difference.
We are finally at peace with our decision. -
@catlady: That's what our attorney advised. He basically said you can always make a revision, but we should approach it based on who could do it right now.
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Yep, we asked them before we finalized our wills.
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Yes of course we asked...I can't imagine doing it without asking the people first, even if you assume they will say yes. But I guess they can always decline if it came to it...
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We haven't given thought to it yet
Adding onto will, life insurance, all that stuff that's on my to do list!
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I have no idea who we would choose. I'm not a huge fan of my in-laws, so that would be a no. My family isn't in a position to take on a couple kids. My DH's siblings aren't really mature enough. It's a hard decision to make!
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We asked my parents. They said yes.
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Yes they know. We asked permission from both our primary option and a backup option.
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Yes we asked my cousin and her husband before T was born.
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We double-checked with them, but we knew my parents would love to raise him if it came down to it.
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My sister and I have already discussed and agreed that she will take in my kids if something happens to me and DH.
I need to get it in writing but I keep putting it off.
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@regberadaisy: Yup! We asked them while I was pregnant. And yes it is in our estate papers. Interestingly, there may be some people who would be surprised it's NOT them and we haven't had those conversations ..... !
Adding onto will, life insurance, all that stuff that's on my to do list!
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