So I've been doing baby-led breastfeeding and basically just letting her sleep/wake/eat whenever she wants... I thought that was okay because she's so young, but my husband and his extended family are giving me grief for it... does my LO need a schedule?!?
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No. We did everything on demand until we started noticing that she had made her own schedule, even then the only thing we set was a bedtime.
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I don't think babies that young follow schedules!
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I don't think it makes sense to schedule per se but with my 6 week old I do try to put him down for naps within two hours of waking. And we don't play during night waking a of course. Otherwise it's on his terms!
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@scg00387: ditto this, I don't think a new Born need a schedule but a routine is helpful. Our pedi told us to try to make sure he sleeps in between nursing sessions, so that helped us structure our day.
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A schedule, no. But I agree with relaxed structure. Like usually doing things in a certain pattern, but being flexible enough to nurse twice during a wakeful period to accommodate a growth spurt.
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I don't think it's realistic to get a one-month old on a schedule but you can definitely start some good routines (e.g. Sleep, eat, play; bedtime routines; naptime routines, etc.).
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NOOOO! We put my son on a schedule because of reflux and it messed my supply up. We did try to follow a routine where he woke and ate them diaper and play and then sleep again. But not a schedule.
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@scg00387: My baby has a pattern of being wide awake for 1-2 hours between 10pm - 1am. and then again between 5-7am. If I try to just hold her or get her back to sleep during those times, she gets mad, so I have ended up unswaddling her and letting her play/interact... do you think that's bad? When she wakes up between those two times, she goes right back to sleep after nursing...
I'm going to try to start more of a bedtime routine... though I'm not sure what time to give her a bath, etc., as right now I feel like she has a bunch of bedtimes, since she's up and down a bunch in the evening.
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We had the opposite problem. DH's family thought it was ridiculous that I wanted to start a bedtime routine at 2.5 months, because babies don't follow a schedule. I wasn't trying to set a schedule; I was trying to get a routine to associate with nighttime sleep. DS generally follows a pattern, so I adapt to that (although his pattern changes over time). One other routine we always follow is a diaper change before a feeding.
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@78h2o: Honestly, I do think that's a problem. She could be waking at those times because she has her days and nights messed up. When they wake at night, it's best to keep things dim and calm. No playing and such, or else it's just going to reinforce to her that that time is play time.
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I was always so concerned about schedules when our baby was little, but then I realized that she was totally not ready to follow a schedule. It will come, but you certainly don't need one yet. If you start noticing patterns, you can try to reinforce them, but there's no need to force it.
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@78h2o: to me it seems like you have to set "night" at some point so they get night and day figured out. We've had similar issues sporadically but not regularly. When he fights going down we keep the lights dim and rock, pat Eric and keep putting him down once he's settled and repeating till it sticks. This morning he wouldn't stay down at 630ish so I took him out to the couch and let him sleep on me for another hour. I'd say experiment and be prepared to change- every time I think we've figured out a good thing it all changes
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I would keep things quiet during the evening so she doesn't start to get days/nights mixed up. How about quiet time, like rocking in the dark (or dim lights)?
I don't think she needs a schedule, but at the 2 month mark i loosely followed EASY, which made a world of a difference for me! I fed her on demand, but after a while i put her on a (roughly) 3 hour schedule. Starting a routine isn't necessary at this stage (i only say that because i was just trying to survive during her colicky months) but it's a good start.
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@caffeinated: agree! we followed the same EASY routine and found it to be really helpful. @78h2o: I hear ya on difficulty with establishing a "bedtime". I would just experiment--start with 10 or so, and then maybe try moving it a bit earlier. 1 month is also still pretty early--we didn't have a bedtime/night routine until around 6 weeks.
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@hilsy85: Suddenly i had insight into why she was crying! Nope, she's not hungry she's tired!
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@caffeinated: yes! Total lightbulb moment
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I did a rough schedule with my baby when she was 1 month We fed every three hours during the day. I was flexible with napping and play between those three hours, but during the day as soon as it hit 3 hours I woke baby up to eat. Bathtume/Bedtime routine started about 2 hours and 45 minutes after her "dinner" feeding, and then she got one last feed in before bed. My LO did really well with a schedule and it made it easier to predict when she was going to want to eat so we can better plan our day. It's rare that she seems hungry outside the 3-3.5 hour imeframe now.
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We don't have a schedule but we have a routine of eat play sleep. Sometimes things get out of order (like if we are out and about and she sleeps in the car). One thing I do stick to strictly is that I never let her go more than 3 hour between feedings. I'll wake her up to eat if I have to. I'm very protective of making sure she gets enough food during the day so she sleeps well at night. I also dont want her sleeping crazy long stretches during the day. We also do a bed time routine starting between 8 and 8:30 each night (bath, books, eat, bed). Sometimes she goes down for the night at nine and sometimes it takes much longer to get her down.
I absolutely think you should stop playing with her at night. Keep the lights low and everything quiet at night time. No matter how long it takes her to go back to sleep don't give in and interact.
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@scg00387 and @zippylef: Okay, thanks. I was worried that I shouldn't be interacting with her... just not sure what to do because if I don't unswaddle her she starts screaming/kicking and struggling until she busts out of it. Once she's out and wiggling around, she's happy. She also cries when the lights are off, but once I turn them on and she's looking at me, she's okay. I don't want her CIO at such a young age, but I do think her days and nights are mixed up, to some extent. She's usually up for an hour or two in the late morning, sleeps most of the day, awake from maybe 6-8pm, then those other two times I mentioned.
Thanks, everyone!
ETA: When she's in that super alert phase, she will cry if I try to hold her, rock her, etc. She wants to sit up and look around, interact, etc. Do I let her cry?
She never goes more than 3 hours without nursing during the day, 3-4 at night.
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@78h2o: What we did to help C sort her days and nights was to make sure that our house was bright and loud during the day. I would open the blinds, keep the TV on/play music, vaccum, etc. Then, after "bedtime" we made sure the house was quiet and kept the lights low, etc. It seemed to help us.
I wouldn't CIO at her age either. We didnt really try it until later on.
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I thought this blog post was helpful in understanding the EASY routine: http://noobmommy.com/2008/12/easy-routine-from-baby-whisperer.html
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I don't think babies that young need a schedule. I think I was just in survival mode when DS was that young. Enforcing a schedule was far from my mind. Plus, BFing on demand right now is great for your supply.
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@78h2o: we did the same as @zippylef: And made sure the house was loud and bright during the day and quite and dark at night. Also... My LO likes to be able to see us too and what's really helpful is that we have a dimmer switch in almost every room. We can turn the light on just enough for me to be able to see what I'm doing to change her diaper or nurse her and she can see me... But it's not so bright that it really wakes her up. In our bedroom we even have a remote control so after I put her in her bassinet I can turn the light all the way off without getting up.
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@Mrs. Tricycle: Thanks for the link.
@MamaMoose: I wish we had dimmers... I've been just turning on my bedside lamp, which isn't terribly bright, but maybe it's too stimulating. I can see on the video monitor that she's wide awke though, looking around in the dark. She'll be okay like that for 20 minutes or so, but then she starts crying until the bedside lamp is on... she might be okay with the lamp on for a few minutes, just sitting in the pack n play bassinet on her own, but then she starts trying to bust out of the swaddle/crying, etc. until I pick her up and try to rock her. Then she's okay for the next 10 min or so before she wails and wants to look at me/interact.
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@78h2o: it definitely sounds like she has her days and nights confused. Try to focus on more awake time during the day and hopefully she'll adjust. Also... It took my husband about ten minutes to install the dimmers so it seems like its a pretty easy thing to do! Tell your hubs to check them out at home depot or lowes.
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@78h2o: I bought an energizer led lantern for diaper changes at night, its a nice bluefish light. I also avoid eye contact since its stimulating. I in swaddle when I go in for his crying, nurse quietly, diaper change and re swaddle and rock until drowsy.
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@78h2o: you can also buy a dimmer like this for your bedside lamp. I have one and its really nice for nighttime feedings. I had to buy a light bulb meant for dimming for it to work properly.
http://www.amazon.com/Lutron-TT-300NLH-WH-Credenza-Dimmer-White/dp/B0000DI241
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@mrskc: awesome, I'm totally buying that!
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I was (still am) feeding C every 3 hours at that age, but beyond that every day was still pretty different. More feeds if she needed, if she slept through, she nursed when she woke, kept it pretty simple!
Only in the last week or two (10-11w) can I see C really liking our attempts at schedule now, and benefitting from routine/patterns and I'm really seeing the difference in her cries (fussy cry, hungry cry, tired/overtired cry, make noise cry, lol).
No rush yet I would say, but agree with other posters about nighttime, never any stimulation, even if C was awake we'd just walk our dark halls......can't say I miss that.....but it already seems like eons ago!
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Nope, not at all, in my opinion.
Let your baby sleep and eat when she wants and she will naturally get in a groove and set herself up a schedule. Keep things quiet and not very stimulating at night, and keep things bright, make noise, and "play" during the day. -
I think its okay to unswaddle her and let her look around during those wakeful times at night. Her schedule will sort itself out on its own eventually....I promise! She is only a month old....that's so tiny! Definitely don't let her cry!
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