Hellobee Boards

Probably the world at this point. We actually mentioned it in our holiday cards to our family and close friends, not that they didn't already know. That attitude isn't for everyone, but I've always believed in being open about things like that because you never know who else is struggling and feeling alone. Plus, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Only my BFF. She knows how long we've been trying and about Hubs finally going for a test, but she's the only person. I think our parents have come to terms with us never having kids.

No, they don't. I think my mom knows we have been thinking more about kids in our immediate future, but not that we have been trying for so long.

DH's family knows we will tell them when there is news, but we have effectively shut down any possible conversations about TTC.

A few know we had a MC, but that was strictly on a need to know basis, so our families don't even know.

My BFF knows because I told her when we started TTC. Her DH knows too because we talk about it in front of the DHs. My mom didn't know until last month (21 cycles in) because I was afraid I'd die during the egg retrieval (irrational!!) and I didn't want her to find out that way. She surprised me by being shocked - she didn't even think we were trying. No one else knows, not even my dad, and I kinda like it that way.

Our families know. And they know we had twins via ivf. I actually only told our brothers, parents and one cousin, but I know that cousin probably told her sister and maybe her mom. I did tell a couple of friends who knew we were trying for a long time.

@meganmp: I'm curious to know what that was about!

@LindsayInNY: some of my coworkers and friends know more than my family too! Sometimes I also get the urge to tell family, but I wonder if it would hurt more than help, so we keep it secret.

It sounds like our situations/circumstances are really similar.

We didn't tell anyone while we were TTC. It felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant and I wanted to share in their joy without them "feeling bad" for me. After almost 2 years of TTC, I broke down to my mom at my cousin's wedding after she made a comment about us never giving her grandchildren. Of course she felt awful after I told her what was going on!

We told DH's parents a few months later after we started the IVF process since I required surgery before proceeding. I've always been nervous about anesthesia so I just felt better about them knowing in case anything happened.

Once I got pregnant with triplets it pretty much threw up a big red flag that screamed INFERTILITY. It also led to lots of awkward "did you have help?", "could you not get pregnant?", etc questions. We were very open with our friends who were genuinely wondering how we were doing, bu there were a few random people at work who I told triplets run in our family

@tequiero21: I don't know why people insist on asking that question!?!

@LindsayInNY: when wee made to appointment to see our RE we told our parents and my best friend knows, as we started TTC around the same time, as I started IUI and such I have a few co workers that know because of the time off and such, but now.......

If anyone asks about when we are having kids I tell them........mostly for my selfishness...I'd rather just tell them the truth instead of saying in time...blah blah and hearing all of their expert advice like ohhh relax and it will happen.......

I am an open person so it does not really bother me

I told one best friend when we started trying. I told another after 4 or 5 months. At 8 months, it is hard because I want to be more open with a few people. I think if we aren't pregnant after a year, and begin additional testing for infertility, that is when we would tell our families and a few more friends.

I feel like my job does impact how I feel about this though. I do have a unique teaching position program in a small community. My position is like a blend between a teacher and a coach, I travel regularly with students and am facebook friends with some of their parents. I'm just not sure I am comfortable with my students knowing that much about my life.

@beachbee: I got to the point of saying, "Nope! IVF twins." It's what they want to know, and there is NO REASON to be embarrassed, so I just tell. That's just my own crusade, though, so it's not for everyone. Or most people, for that matter:)

@FaithFertility: haha, me too! None of my business!

@meganmp: wow. Ruined?! thats extreme. I'm sorry, but if she couldn't handle, she had no business doing it in the first place. I do realize desperation makes u put in more than one, but obviously two was a major possibility. I also mourn for the boys.

Everyone knows now. We are an open book about it. My DH was born with a genetic condition and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is nice to have so many people supporting us.

No one knew until we had our success with LO. We told parents after we saw the heartbeat and I told my mom all the back story. I'm still not sure what DH told his parents, whether about the if/drugs or the chemicals or just the result. I told my brother and one good friend while it was going on, but just email conversations since they both live far away.

Since then I've been fairly open with friends about the trouble we had for #1. I'm definitely not ashamed, but I don't like people asking while it is happening. So for #2 we have kept it to ourselves completely. My mom was here when I found out about my last chemical and I didn't say a word. I am close to her but I find it stressful enough to be waiting for results myself - I absolutely do not want anyone else asking me in real life. On here of course everything is different! so hopefully, we will again just be more open once things have worked ...

Family has no idea we've even been trying. I plan to keep it that way because it would just be added pressure that I absolutely don't need. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell my family we had troubles, even if/when we do get pregnant. But I'm not super close to my parents.

But I'm pretty open with online and IRL friends who are also TTC/have kids about our struggles. I've found it really helps to talk about things, rather than keep them bottled up. Plus, extra people thinking good thoughts and sending me good vibes can't hurt!