Hellobee Boards

It's a thing, but we just went to a party that said no gifts, and luckily I grabbed a TMNT bag from Old Navy last minute, because *everyone* brought gifts.

I think the parents have best intentions, but people are going to bring gifts anyway because it's their cousin/nephew/grandson/etc and they can't resist. Especially for a first birthday party!

So instead I took it to mean, "don't go crazy on presents"

To me it means no presents. Period.

I know people want to give gifts and feel bad about not giving them. But as a parent organizing a party, I don't want a bunch of extra stuff!

I wrote this in our invite for a joint party for the kids, and everyone ignored it. I'm donating 90% of the stuff because they already have too much. If you were coming to my party it would mean no presents!

@Mrs. Sketchbook: I thought about writing that in the invite but then I felt like it might make people who were on the fence about it feel obligated to bring something?

There's no way to win!

@lamariniere: Yes, agree. I hate accumulating things we just don't need!

All of my close mom friends and I have this rule and just bring a card to the parties. I would probably still bring a book or something small if it was a child/family I didn't know as well.

@Mrs. Tiger: just saw your reply! I did it via FB which I think helped. I told them no gifts, but if they wanted to donate to buy toiletries for a nearby children's home. No-one was interested in buying deodorant so I didn't get too many donations but we did raise about 150 dollars in cash for them.

Coincidentally, I just noticed a 'no gifts' in small print on a party invite for next week. This thread made me check, otherwise I would never have noticed it! This person had a registry for their first LO's birthday (oh how things change), so I never expected a no gifts policy for them! I already bought a gift I can't return! Lol, oh well. I'll put it back for a niece or nephew for Christmas.

I would bring a card with a gift card inside.
I know it means no gifts, but I wouldn't want to be the only one without a gift and I know that happens more often than not.

IMO, it means no gifts. I never understand why people feel the need to disregard a host's request by bringing unwanted items. (Gifts when they have said no gifts or food when the host told them that nothing was needed.)(ETA - not talking about hostess gifts.)

If you really feel you must bring something, how about a card with a balloon? I know my LO would be highly entertained with a balloon and I would not feel like I had acquired more stuff because I could throw it away after a few days.

ETA- and have you ever been to a no gifts party and judged anyone else because they did not bring a gift? I haven't - I suspect the feeling that you should have brought a gift is self induced - no one else is judging you.

@meganmp: I'm going to invite you to my parties. I like your style!

@mrs.shinerbock: It's my social anxiety talking, and yes, I logically know no one is making any judgements. I like the idea of bringing a bottle of wine to the parents, lol.

I am of the mind that if someone brings a gift, regardless if you want it or not, you accept it and thank them. What you do after that, is your choice.

I think if that's what it says, then i would feel zero guilt about not bringing anything. I once received an invite that said, "Please no gifts but if you feel compelled a book to add to her library would be welcomed."

@autumnlove: Are you serious? That would really annoy me!

I always feel weird showing up empty handed so I would bring something small like a book.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: @Mrs. Tiger: I haven't received a no presents invite just yet, but knowing the gift would be donated would make me feel obligated to bring a gift. I wouldn't want to be the scrooge that wasn't kind enough to bring *something* for the less fortunate kids. Even though this now feels like forced charitable giving without the tax right off.

@autumnlove: that is obnoxious! In my case the no gifts thing applied only to friends and I explained to them in my message that his family would probably bring something because they have no self control.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I tried to be really flexible in my wording. I told my friends no gifts but if you want, make a donation of toiletries. No-one likes buying toiletries so I didn't have many people take me up on that. I get that it may seem "donation grabby" but for me, the potential to offend was worth it because I simply can't handle the parenting drama that comes with all the gifts. I've seen children at parties get, like, sixty gifts (especially when the gifter gives a few small presents in a grab bag). When I was a child I had birthdays with family except a few occasions so I literally have no clue how parents manage to keep their children's entitlement-surrounding-holidays issues in check if they get so many gifts every year. It just isn't something I've learned to manage effectively.

Like I said, we actually didn't have a party this year because it just gets to be too much and with my LO being only two, he didn't notice.

Whenever I have been to a no presents party, I always bring a card and I don't seal the envelope and keep a gift card in my purse. If it looks like most people are bringing gifts then I put the gift card into the card and seal the envelope. If no one brings gifts I just give them the card.

If the invite says no gifts, I don't bring one, even if I'm worried I'll be the only one who doesn't. I know if I were to put no gifts on an invite, I wouldn't want people to feel like they had to bring one due to peer pressure.

I always bring a little something (a GG at the least) to no-gift parties and here's my rationale: Regardless of being invited to a party, I would have gifted them something on my own anyway to help celebrate. Just because I have been officially invited to a party doesn't negate my desire to gift them. But like someone has already said, what they choose to do with it is up to them.

I think it means no gift. I've only been invited to two no gift parties, one invitation specified to bring a donation to the local animal shelter (they actually emailed people a few days before the party saying don't forget the donation, which I thought was a little rude) and I asked the other host what their favourite charity was and donated directly. I wouldn't bring an actual gift.