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Her response is really biased. "Keep your husband in check." That's ridiculous, DH often ends up missing LOs bath time because his crazy work schedule not because he wants to. I think that is an insensitive response because she doesn't fully know why your husband is coming home late.

That would rub me the wrong way, too.
She seems unhappy in her relationship and that's just sad. I feel like when people say things like that it's so they don't feel so alone in their situation.

I'm sad for her! Either because she doesn't realize she is doing a disservice to the person that she loves or because she's in such an unhappy relationship.

Yes, that would make me uncomfortable and would probably make me shy away from this friend more often than not. I (being someone who always stands up for my husband when people say things that may be construed as knocking them) would probably tell her to back off when she says these things. It's not nice, at all.

It makes me sad to hear about the way she talks about her husband. For the most part, we only try to build each other up to other people; they don't need to know our faults.
If it were me, next time she told me I should keep my husband in check, I'd give her a cold look and say "I'm sorry? I don't feel the need to. He does his best" and then I'd smile and change the subject. I am a teacher though, so I have highly effective "teacher eyes" that tend to work on adults too!

How sad. We used to be friends with a couple that would constantly fight in front of us, in public. It was so awkward. The wife was so demeaning and rude and never had a nice thing to say about her husband. We stopped socializing with them because we feel like it is important that we don't let that type of attitude creep into our marriage. We noticed we argued more when we were around them.

My advice is to limit your time with her. I'm not saying you need to turn your back on her when she's depressed and needs a friend but if she starts belittling your husband I think you should abruptly tell her you aren't comfortable with it and leave or end the conversation.

It sounds like she's very unhappy

In general, I have a big problem with women who demonize all men/making sweeping, demoralizing comments about men. It's not fair and it's inaccurate.

I have a friend who is the worst nag I've ever seen to her husband who is generally a kind, easy-going guy. She's brought up her nagging with me before and asked how I avoid nagging my DH. I've told her that I chose to marry DH because I love him, respect him and see him as my equal, not as a lesser person who needs to be kept in check.

Yes, I can relate- one couple we tend to avoid hanging out with because the wife is very much how you described. I used to work with the husband and are good friends, but she it's constantly bashing her husband and expects me to play along. She always gets mad when I don't participate and change the subject. I'm fine with venting, but everything that comes out of her mouth is negative.

My husband and I were taking about it the other night, it feels like we are witnessing the beginning of a divorce. I feel bad avoiding her, and want to be a supportive friend, but I have limited free time, and hate spending it with someone who absolutely drains me.

@SweetMamaM: Haha, I love the teacher eyes. That look used to terrify me, now I love using it!

Sad face.

I'm all for having a good friend who can share in BOTH the joys and trials of a marriage relationship, but if the Husband-Man and I have a problem with each other, we agreed to talk about it together first, and then ask each other permission to share with a select close friend. We don't bad-mouth each other to our friends, but we do attempt to be real about our struggles.

It sucks that she feels the need to dominate these conversations with negative thoughts about her husband, and it's hard to say without knowing her in other aspects, but is she similarly negative about her children, friends, etc, or just her spouse? If I were close enough to her I would probably mention how unhappy she sounds, but only if she were a close friend.

@TurtleDoves: As they say, misery loves company . . . I think she just is looking for a *wing man* so to speak. Sad.

I've noticed some women try to bond by gossiping/complaining or ganging up on someone else. I don't really get it, the only thing I do is change the subject.

That makes me sad