Hellobee Boards

no pageants for LO!

No way! DH would have a heart attack and like, just die

"I am not being judgmental, I am just honestly curious as to why a parent would choose elaborate costumes over saving for college."

Most of the people on toddlers and tiaras don't come across as the college type; their focus is always on looks, not brains.

I want to say PrincessBaby mentioned having been in pageants when she was younger-- hopefully she will come around and weigh in!
And yes, I am 100% sure Toddlers and Tiaras is not the norm, even in the pageant world. No reality show is ever actually... reality. It would be so boring! The worst example is Say Yes To The Dress: Bridesmaids-- the bridesmaids are always SO mean, I don't even see how they are friends.

My daughters will for sure be in pageants if they want to! I think they are great. Think of how much hard work and confidence goes into those. Not just anyone can get on a stage and prance around. I absolutely love them!

@yoursilverlining: that's not fair. On that show many of the parents put the winnings into savings for college...

@rahlyrah: I've only seen the shows and I have a friend who puts her daughter in like 3 pageants a month. Utah isn't big on pageants so not even sure if they have them around here. But even at the small pageants on the tv show the grand supreme title wins $1000-5000. And there are other titles with less money. But if you were smart you could buy a used dress, learn how to do the tan/makeup/hair yourself or trade with other moms the day of the show and for sure it would be worth it.mbut I still feel like its worth it for more then the money.

@Arden: tell that to a drag queen.

@rahlyrah: I think in the long run some of them do win enough money and even scholarships. Pageants are not for me though and the show toddlers and tiaras really makes me feel uneasy watching the kids get manicures and wearing adult make up

@Arden: yes I think it's ok. I feel beautiful when I wear makeup and dress up, that doesn't mean I feel ugly when I wear no make up and am in sweats.

@anonysquire: I'm shocked that you could think that's ok for a girl's self worth to be based on her appearence.

An excerpt from an article on how sexualization is affecting young girls.

"The constant monitoring of appearance leads to feelings of shame. Feelings of shame arise from a perception that one has failed to meet cultural standards of conduct. Few girls meet the dominant cultural standard for a slender, sexy appearance, so it is not surprising that feelings of inadequacy and shame are widespread. Studies have also demonstrated that exposure to idealized models of sexual attractiveness in media such as fashion magazines leads to body dissatisfaction among girls. In extreme cases, body image dissatisfaction leads teenage girls to undergo plastic surgery procedures such as breast implants and liposuction for reduction of fat in the hips, belly, and thighs. It also contributes to the success of the cosmetics and beauty products industry. In the US, girls between the ages of 12 and 19 spent of $8 billion on these products and services.
Three of the most common mental health problems of girls and women, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression, have been linked to sexualization. The incidence of anorexia nervosa in girls 10 to 19 over the last 50 years has tracked changes in fashion, with the ideal of a thin body type preceding the highest incidences of anorexia nervosa. A number of studies have demonstrated the links between media exposure to idealized women and depression and reduced self-esteem.
Dr. Gail McVey, scientist and psychologist at The Hospital for Sick Children, has observed through her research that girls as young as 10 are resorting to extreme weight-loss techniques in attempts to mimic the bodies of runway models. In addition to the media, girls face additional pressures such as appearance-based teasing, peer pressure to conform to the thin ideal of beauty, and sexual harassment. Girls learn through the process of socialization to base their self-worth on their appearance."

@Arden: you know this post is about pageants. I appreciate your opinion and how my opinion boggles your mind or whatever. I have issues and I can assure you I was never in a pageant. So it looks like either way people can be screwed up. I still will let my daughters be in pageants

Lots going on so I won't tag reply individually, but what about the Miss America pageant where they do give away scholarships and they have to present a platform they are passionate about in advocating for? I'm not talking about the Miss USA/Miss Universe pageant that Trump foundation funds. That's a different pageant system.

Like @anonysquire said, new fancy dresses of exorbitant amounts is personal choice. If you actually attend a pageant, numerous other pageant moms sale their daughters dresses or you can trade. There's also various pageant systems where some are complete glitz where you are more dressed (fake tanning, nails, hair pieces, etc.), some are all natural, and some are combination. However, I think the girls in Toddlers and Tiaras are a bit extreme. Sure, there are girls that are like that, but they definitely don't represent the majority.

As I said previously, I used to be in pageants, but I don't wear any makeup now besides a BB Cream and dress pretty low key. I think a lot of it has to deal with how parents tell/teach their children what pageants are about and permit such wild behavior. I know some parents who's child has never been in pageants, but put them in dance. Girls in dance know how to put on makeup and put on costumes as well and some take that knowledge of applying makeup to every day life! I believe there's a show out there about this also. I haven't seen it yet though.

@Alivoo01: Dance Moms, might be what you are thinking of. Another one that takes the most extreme examples and acts like everyone in 'dance' is like that, like T&T acts like all pageant families are like that.

Pageants aren't a thing where I live so my daughters certainly wouldn't be in them, but I agree with you that I've seen dance recital numbers that just as bad as some of the T&T dances, though, usually not from actual toddlers. I would still be fine with my daughters doing dance though (unlikely that they will be any good, though, since they get half my genes!).

@Arden: I agree that dance is different-- plus, it's good exercise, which is really important. I don't really like the idea of pageants, but I can see how going on stage, etc, would build confidence with public speaking, etc. Honestly I would rather my kids gained that confidence on the debate team, or something, but I am interested in hearing more from someone who actually did it. @Alivoo01: 's "insider knowledge" is really interesting.

I don't want to say "never" but I highly doubt I would.
I don't know anything about that world, and if i had a child who liked to perform I would encourage them to do dance or plays or something else.

@Alivoo01: I totally agree with you about dance competitions! My cousin is and was really into those and I've seen it for myself.

@Arden: My aunt is uber conservative and would have never thought she'd have her little girl in make up and little dresses, but it seems to evolve that way. If your kid loves to dance and is good at it, they join a studio. Studios like to compete and then it's about matching everyone else's outfit. At the competition level, it's intense. My cousin's in HS now and she still LOVES to dance and does so competitively. She's an honor student and has to keep up her grades in order to do so. Last year, I think her grades were slipping so her parents made her stop competing and once her grades were up, she FBed about how happy she is to be able to compete again.

Pageants give off a bad precedence that it is based solely on beauty/looks. I competed in pageants when I had braces and I cringed at the thought because no one else had them. It was to my understanding that beauty does not include braces!! Well I competed anyway, and on my score sheet, the judges would tell me I had a beautiful smile and to keep on showing off my smile. I've even won some photogenic trophies with my braces! Crazy talk huh?

Not sure how the scoring is tabulated now days, but from my experience, your beauty score isn't solely based on beauty. It was tied in with your modeling skill and interview score. Your interview score was based on personality, how you presented yourself, and how you responded to their questions. So while you can be drop dead gorgeous, but you "flunk" your interview portion, you wouldn't win the beauty title. I've heard numerous complaints from parents where they didn't understand how their child lost when they were by far the most made up/beautiful of their age group. The directors would show them on the score sheet that their interview score or their modeling score wasn't as strong as their competitors which cost them the title. Even if you're really young in age, you still participate in interviews. They just ask simpler questions like what's your favorite color, what do you want to be when you grow up, who's your best friend, etc.

As for practice, dedication, etc., if y'all watch Toddlers and Tiaras, you'll notice there are different categories of competition. In each category, a different type of modeling routine is needed. That takes some major concentration and memorization skills to keep the routines separate and to remember all your steps! It's like making sure you don't mix up your jazz and tap dance routines! They share similar dance steps, but the routines are completely different based on music and choreography.

I agree with @Crumbs: comment in that "...I think it's not the actual pagents that do the damage -- it's the parents that allow it to be. " Parenting has a lot to do with how you handle how your child reacts to being in the pageant through crowning regardless if they win or they don't. If they see that pageants are not a good form of extra curricular activity for their child, then they shouldn't continue. Unfortunately, a lot of mom's continue pushing their child to compete in pageants because they are living vicariously through their child. That's where things start turning sour and hello celebrity on Toddlers and Tiaras.