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ugh my MIL is the same way. It INFURIATES me when she undermines me in front of my 3year old. When I tell my LO not to do something my MIL usually will say "oh she's fine she can do that!". Um, no, she can't, it's not your decision and quit trying to make me look like the bad guy for expecting my kid to follow the rules

My MIL is absolutely the same way. Especially regarding food - she hovers over them while they are eating, tries to spoon feed them (they are almost two and have always liked to feed themselves), gets them out of their high chairs and let's them sit on her lap during meals, and is constantly setting out snacks so they eat nonstop when we are at their house. It drives me crazy! In general, she's a helicopter grandma and doesn't let them walk without a hand on them. She also follows me when I go to change their diapers and wouldn't take a hand off them during bathtime on Saturday. Like I said, they are almost two. They are more than capable of walking around our house without me following their every move. I think she thinks I can't handle them both on my own (even though I sah with them and literally tend to their every need all day long by myself), so she has to be over-involved when she's around to "help." She won't even let both kids sit on my lap. She pulls one off and says "mommy is helping your brother now." I'm a twin mom - I've spent every day of their lives holding both of them. It only makes it worse when she tries to interfere like that because then I'm holding one while the other is screaming for me and she's saying "mommy is busy" over and over. Sigh.

Yes! And baby is still in utero! LOL

First, it's what she wanted to be called: G-Mom. I just talked her into a much funner sounding GiGi. Then, of course she said the baby will probably sadly her name first. I tried to rise above it and replied, "I will just be happy my baby is talking."

Second, she kept referring to my baby as hers. I let it slide for a while, a long while and then finally told her she's going overboard with talking about and asking about "my baby." Then, in the next breath she shared a story of her and her friend noticing a little boy that looked like a good blend of DH and I. You know what the friend said? "There goes your baby?" Ugh- lol

Third, she suggested I leave my weeks old baby with her to go househunting. That time I almost lost it. I asked her, "what's the baby going to eat? I'm breastfeeding and won't have a stash by then." Then, I calmly told her "I'm going to be a new mom and probably won't want to leave my baby for 2-3 days."

I know she's excited, but I really hope she calms down once he's here.

@twodoghouse: that sounds sooo annoying

Only my MIL does this. It infuriates me when she undermines my parental authority in front of LO; (only slightly) in MIL's defense, I don't think she is purposefully doing this, I think 1) LO could literally get away with murder in MIL's eyes and 2) she is like 90% deaf so I think she doesn't always hear me say no/whatever to LO. Still, it makes my blood boil, and it especially boils when DH, who hears just fine, doesn't correct MIL. All day yesterday when LO would say "mama" to get my attention my MIL would answer LO; deep breaths self lol, deep breaths.

Yes it's my mom who watches my daughter four days a week while I'm at work. My sisters join in too so some days it's pretty tough so get a word in about my own daughter's care. They are all a bit sensitive so I usually try to word it in a joke and they tend to get the point. I also pick my battles and (unfortunately) don't speak up unless it's really something I feel strongly about.

Yep...it's hard because it often feels like we are being undermined (me especially, DH doesn't get as much flack). But I know it's coming from a good place, out of concern - but it's really F'n annoying!! Like hello, I've raised him myself up until now & he is perfect. But my parents never really praise me or positively encourage me anyway, it's usually negative reinforcement so I'm used to it. So I pick my battles as I am not that fussy if she wants to hover around & feed him/do whatever differently to my way. But if there's something major I truly believe is worth a fierce conversation then I'll go there Just wish they'd 'respect my authority' as the parent more often.

@yoursilverlining: haha "umma" sounds like "amma" and MIL would always say "oh she is saying amma!!" I would growl inside but DH told me to just let it go 🙄

Yes both my mom and MIL try to but now I just let them experience the consequences of doing it their way.

My MIL is really getting on my goat at the moment but I think its more my pregnancy hormones than anything else. She is SO bossy! I know she's trying to help but she acts like she's the mum me and E are both her children!!

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Ugh. My MIL is already talking about taking the baby instead of E, so I can "spend time with E". When I reminded her I'm hoping to breastfeed this time, it was so obvious this little fact stood in the way of her grand plan. She then said "I am excited about spending time with my new grandchild so you will have to tell me when you want me to go away...." Its annoying because I've made it clear I want E's routine to stay the same at first (goes to their house 3 days a week) but it seems that she is hell bent on just being wherever she can "help with" the new baby. Grrrrrr.

Of the more ordinary problems I have with my MIL, she does this constantly. Constantly. About everything. In fact, she just did it. My LO woke up early when I was sneaking out for an early work day. As a long time parent of this particular child, I know when she's up for the day and when she's up and will go back to sleep. It was an up for the day kind of up. So I half-hearted told her it was too early, but she insisted it was morning. MIL barges in and says "you come and sleep with GRANDMA!". LO starts to cry that she wants mummy instead. I said " she's up, she won't go back to sleep now" and MIL starts arguing with me about it, but passive aggressive through my LO. "You want to go to sleep with Grandma, don't you? You want to get in Grandma's bed and go to sleep with Grandma, don't you?". Ugh. So annoying. And it's about everything.

For me it's about food. She always want to feed the the food she brought or has at her house. Each time I have to specify we are her parents and can provide her food, she only eats what we give her. Sorry, we both have food allergies and you still don't get what gluten free is. I expect it will be more of an issue in the future.

I hadn't thought of it in these terms, but some of the things mil does with lo definitely bother me in this way! My parents are pretty good at following our lead, but mil def oversteps at times and acts like she knows best. Usually it's about dh's parenting, but sometimes mine too. Like, lo likes to sit on our kitchen counter while we are in there, and dh and I never move far enough away from her when she's sitting there that she would actually fall, but mil makes this like grunt/breath-intake noise (I don't know how to describe it!) and insists on keeping a hand on her the whole time if she's up there, even when we say "it's fine, we got her." She makes the same noise when lo plays with my hair too--she will grab lo's hand away and say "icky!" umm, my hair is not icky, thank you very much...I have other issues about the things she does when watching her too--like she puts on TV at the drop of a hat, because even though she says she'll watch lo she all the sudden will have work she has to do/emails she has to respond to immediately at the same time, and gives her little breakable espresso cups to drink "coffee" in, which is just water now but the first time she did it when lo was like 15 months actually contained a drop of coffee she doesn't watch her often bc she lives out of town but she asks to often. uggggh I have to see her this weekend, now I'm dreading it more than I was before, haha

My MIL doesn't do this. She's barely ever around DS. She sees him once every few months, usually at a restaurant and doesn't really step on toes.

My mom does this a little, but it's my mom not my MIL, so it's easier to deal with. A lot I just let slide. She spent so long being a mom that I think she just can't help herself sometimes. She doesn't usually contradict me, but if she does something like @macintosh: 's crayon example I just overrule her and say "Mom, it's fine. He can have them and if it's a problem I'll take them away."

Things like feeding I would just let her do because DS will tell her if he doesn't like it. FIL loves to hold DS and he's getting way too big for it. He's 2.5 and can walk just fine. But FIL loves it, so I don't tell him to put him down. He can carry him until DS makes him put him down, or he gets too heavy. Luckily DS's at the age where if someone's doing something he doesn't like, he just outright says it. And it's really hard to make a strong, squirmy toddler do anything they don't want to do.

I don't tolerate it. I very quickly and calmly address it by telling the grandparent that this is my jurisdiction and what I say goes, re-direct LO if need be, and then let it drop. I don't go out of my way to be rude or curt, but I am direct. I find that it happens much much less frequently now.

@pwnstar: same. I am never rude but very direct. My MIL "parents" all of her grandchildren so I knew it was going to be an issue before I was even pregnant and cut it off at the pass early and each and every time. I am my child's advocate and there is zero chance I let her be bossed around by my MIL.