I have already declined the invitation to my (second) cousin's wedding because it is too far away / too soon after our baby is born. Along with the RSVP card I sent her a wedding card and a check.
I just received the invite for the bridal shower. They are doing a "money tree" instead of gifts (although they did mention registering at Amazon- but its clear they would prefer cash).
Should I send another check for the bridal shower, or can I just decline the invitation without a gift?
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I try to recirpocate to what they did for me. If they came to my shower, but I couldn't go, I'd send a gift. If they didn't come, then I wouldn't send anything.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Unless you and your second cousin are close enough that she was invited and attended your bridal shower and wedding, I think you should decline, no gift.
pomegranate / 3872 posts
If she has a registry I'd just send a gift from there. Sending a check for a baby shower seems weird to me, but I'm not familiar with a money tree.
pear / 1642 posts
My first thought was to send something small from the registry, but since its a money tree (im not familiar with those), I'd feel the same as Looch. If she came to your shower and wedding, I'd send something. If not, I wouldn't feel bad about not sending money twice.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Is the shower far away too? In that case I would decline and not send anything. You already gave money for the wedding.
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
Yeah, I don't really know what a money tree is either...
The shower is the day after my due date, and about 3-hours away- so going isn't really an option.
She wasn't invited to my wedding or shower (mostly because ours was a lot smaller than hers is going to be).
I think maybe I'll just decline. I don't think anyone would be offended?
pear / 1699 posts
I would also just decline, unless she attended my wedding shower, in which case I would send a small gift off the amazon registry.
ETA - I see she wasn't invited to your shower so I'd just decline.
pomelo / 5820 posts
I would just decline without sending anything. I think sending the wedding gift was enough.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I would decline and not send another gift. That sounds really gift grabby to me, to be honest-- you aren't close, emotionally or physically, so I sort of feel like she shouldn't have invited you to the shower at all. And I don't know what a money tree is but it sounds tacky. I think the wedding gift is plenty.
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