Hellobee Boards

I am 100% with you on the outfits. But I'm not sure how hard I would fight it, especially since it's DH's family. Could you find something in the middle and send her a picture that is a compromise?

Has the photographer been hired yet? In my experience, he or she usually recommends a certain style of clothing (often neutrals especially for the adults).

If SIL isn't organizing or paying for the photos, I think she is overstepping. Some families need someone to boss everyone around so she may feel that's the case. Only you know the family dynamic here though.

We had one family photo where I provided a color scheme and we let everyone wear what they wanted and . . . everyone wore stripes. We looked like jailbirds. Not great. The next time we did a large family photo, I worked with the other women in the family (who make the decisions for wardrobe in their families, I guess we are pretty traditional) to select a few colors (deep purple, navy, red, teal). We encouraged people to wear solids and to coordinate within their own family so they could take individual family portraits that they like. The results was . . . awesome! I think providing basic colors and having more solids with some pops of pattern made the photos look great--coordinated but not too matchy matchy. So to answer your question, I think you guys both have good points. Families should be able to choose what they want to wear, but a basic color scheme is helpful so your photo doesn't turn out looking like a circus. Good luck!

It does sound very matchy but for the sake of family dynamics, I'll probably let it go. Some ppl like to be in charge I think when she suggested white/denim for that many ppl, it sounds okay. I'm sure all 18 of you guys will find different versions of outfits and it can look cute without being overly matching. With the emerald green accents, maybe one of your family members can accent with it (tie/scarf/small pin ) and it will fit the criteria. Not worth the drama.

My Inlaws wanted to take a family pic couple of years ago and SIL insisted jeans and a white shirt for everyone including my 10 month old. I wasn't keen on the idea but not worth the argument so I put LO in overalls and a white shirt and called it a day. We all went out to eat after the photo shoot, and we looked like some cult coming in.

We just wore whatever we wanted!!

Based on what you described SIL's Summer photo with just her family sounds nice. Yes, they were coordinated in a tight color scheme, but they were not all in the same outfit or having girls wear one thing and guys wear another.

I'm all for personal style, but love to see it play out in a similar color palette. Say 5 or 6 colors plus light neutrals galore.

We did a color scheme similar to @Truth Bombs: for extended family photos and it turned out great. I just chose 4-5 colors and told everyone to get or wear something in that range.
Same year we did 'neutrals' as in whites and greys for another extended family photo and not so nice. I love color in family photos!
I would just suggest adding a couple colors to her emerald green and white so that it's not 'too' matchy. Sounds like a good compromise? If that still doesn't work, I guess I'd just let it go, not worth the argument/tension.

@Ree723: everyone in exact matching sweaters sure would be cute

I don't think that everyone wearing anything they want in their choice of three colors is controlling. I think with a big family photo, things can really go awry if there is NO coordination. Like one person can be wearing fluorescents and another pastels, and another woodsy plaids. And while I think it's NBD if it's a casual family snapshot, if people are paying a professional, I can see why they don't want the outfits to make the overall picture garish.

Anyway, we just went through this with my big family and it was a disaster, because I had 2 siblings that refused to play along. It was my mom's 70th birthday and she requested a good family photo of everyone she could use for a Christmas card (birthday was in July). Mom specifically wanted a coordinated photo she could frame and asked me and one of my older sisters to help. We talked to each other, and sent out texts to everyone asking for input; we got none back, so she and I just made the decision and we picked a really similar color scheme to what your SIL has chosen.

We texted everyone and asked if it was okay--some siblings said okay, radio silence from the others. As we got closer to the date, we texted a few reminders. Our scheme was anything in the blue/green family with neutrals like white or khaki thrown in, but no cammo (that has to be specified with some of my family).

Out of the 15 ppl in the picture, one other sister's family showed up all in black, and one brother showed up in red jeans. Sigh.

Nothing says family beach photo like gothic black. Anyway, my mom was kind of secretly disappointed but she's not the type to make a stink out of it. But she didn't frame the pics and didn't use it as a Christmas card, which is a shame, because it's very rare that all of us are together at once.