I hope any of that makes sense at all:

So my parents are mad at me and not talking to me because I'm an idiot, obviously, and doing everything wrong. (I'm not sure wether they believe I'm 12 years old or they are...)

It probably is my fault though. It grew a habit, after A was born and I was so wounded I could hardly walk and all, that DH would take LO and go over to their place (they live right next to us) for breakfast. So whenever we don't have an early appointment or A isn't sleeping in DH takes him there and hast breakfast with them before he heads to work. (And I can either stay in bed a little longer, or take a shower or join them) Today the grandparents fed LO, who is 7 ½ month old, a bag of pretzels. DH told them to stop, that this is way too much, that LO needs to at least drink in between etc. LO was happy of course and ate everything they gave him. DH got really mad (and he knows this was out of proportion) and gave them some dishwasher soap (because he was doing their dishes) and told them if they would like to feed this to him as well, as they are already feeding him stuff he cannot digest.
So my mom got angry and told him to leave. (and kept LO)
(DH is so sad and angry at himself but he's really on edge because his dad and granddad died within a week and now theres noone still alive on his side of the family... Sometimes he cannot stop crying. And now he feels like he “lost” my parents, too. )

10 min later my mom brought me a screaming LO. I asked what's wrong and she just said: something's seriously wrong with your DH.

LO screamed for almost an hour before I could nurse him to sleep. I met my mom again, when she was putting stuff on our front stairs, saying: that belongs to you and you can tell your DH not to bring LO over for breakfast anymore. Poor baby, but when your DH believes in holding him all the time, cuddling him and loving him to death you'll see what you'll get. They believe we'll turn him gay)

So, what do I do?
DH is upset and sad and feels like it's all his fault while on the same time fears for our LO because the two of us are the only family he has still left... and he knows he's irrational at times but I also understand that the loss of both parents (and grandparents) is hard and that he is sad and sometimes not himself.
My parents are upset, that DH and I are both completely irrational and turning that beautiful baby boy into something awful (“something” affectionate, who feels protected all the time and loved too much and will potentially turn out gay)

Right now I'm not saying anything to my parents.
I do believe DH was right, although he could have said it in another way.

What do you think?