Hellobee Boards

One of the great and wonderful parts (and challenging and difficult) of being Jewish is that it is absolutely a cultural lifestyle in addition to being religious dogma. Your dad's opinion about Judaism hyper-focusing around life events (like circumcision or the bat mitzvah) is not an uncommon viewpoint among Jewish people.

For whatever reason, circumcision seems to be such an important tradition for many Jewish families, even the ones that never step foot in a temple or observe any other religious rituals.

That being said, tradition is just that: Tradition. And as we start our own new families, we get to ultimately decide which traditions we do and do not want to keep as our families continue through time. And the most wonderful part about that (for me at least) is that we are all still just as Jewish as anyone else. There's nothing in the world that can ever take away your connection to that peoplehood.

I can see the struggle you are facing between choosing what you feel is right for your family and possibly disappointing your dad. This is par for the course at this point in our lives, I think. Jewish or not. We have to create our own boundaries and set up our own families as we see fit, and sometimes that is vastly different from what our parents practiced growing up.

Hopefully your father can make peace with your decision and come to accept it on his own terms when he is ready, and not pester you about it from then on.

@hilsy85: I still firmly believe that this is a really difficult transition that our parents must be going through. Now, we get to make large, potentially life-altering decisions about our family, and our parents have basically no say in the matter anymore. I think the initial, easiest reaction is to take things as a personal attack/insult, but deep down I think it all stems from this concept of giving up control while they watch their own family continue through life.

@hilsy85: here is the thing - once the baby is here, people hurl "advice" and "suggestions" your way and insist they know whats best because it worked for them. Or they threaten (sometimes veiled) retalliation if you dont choose their way. My MIL is a PRO at this and wants so badly to control our lives. It pisses her off to no end that she cant. Unfortunately, you have to pick and choose these battles. Id say compromise comes somewhere in line with "I think his party theme should be trains and not owls like you want!" and not with lifelong BIG parenting decisions-like a circ. It sounds like you have your mind made up and are just worried about the consequence. But if you both feel strongly about this (or if DH does) then I think this is a time to stand your ground and explain to him that its NOT an abandonment of your religion by any means.

@hilsy85: I can relate, 100%. Dads are so stubborn!!!