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I'm really nervous about this topic. I don't want anyone at the hospital and I don't want any visitors right away at the house while we are adjusting and I'm recovering from birth.

But I know that is unrealistic and not really fair to our close family who want to meet the baby, so I'm trying to get a little more flexible. My MIL is coming to stay with us for a week after the baby is born, but I'm totally okay with that because we have a great relationship and I know she'll be a big help. Other than that, I couldn't handle any additional sleepover-type visitations all at once. That would be too much for me.

Don't feel bad about making your preferences known! You could make SIL feel good about it by telling her you would appreciate her help once your MIL and grandmother left. You are definitely NOT overreacting. I know many parents who felt oppressed by visitors coming at the wrong time or overstaying their welcome, so follow your instincts.

I posted the same concern a little while back. My in-laws live here, while my family lives 350 miles away. We just have a small two bed/two bath house and bringing the baby home is already a big enough adjustment without having to worry about house guests. I already was very up front with my family, they are welcome to come and stay as long as they want but not at the house. My dad had no problem with this at all, and although my mom did at first, I told her these are my wishes, it's what I want, so she can just get over it.

You are perfectly within your rights to say no that it's too many people so soon. Does your MIL want your SIL to come with them for a specific reason? I think that if SIL is willing to come even the week after MIL/GM are there that should be OK, perhaps there could be one day overlap at the very end or something. Good luck.

We didn't allow any visitors in the hospital but ended up with 5 (3 of them checked before showing up which was appreciated). My parents live about 3hr away and came for the weekend when DD was 1w old (DH had to go out of town), it was very nice having them to help out. My MIL came when DD was 3w old under the premise of helping out but in reality she stayed in the guest room the whole time with her dog and when she was out she was offering unsolicited and unappreciated advice. This time my parents will be watching DD while I have LO#2 so they will be there when we get home but I am OK with that. My MIL wants to come for a week again and while I'll agree to it at some point I am insisting that DH be home the entire time to entertain her as I will be busy.

We struggled with similar issues, but overall I think things could have gone better even though my in-laws were not staying with us.

Basically, I feel like no one really understands how much rest a new mother needs. In my opinion, waking up with the baby, feeding the baby and cuddling the baby is all a new mother should do for the first few weeks. She should not have to spend time with guests unless she wants to, and if she does, someone else should set it up so that it doesn't involve extra work for the new mom.

Even though we had help in terms of cooking and cleaning, I still had a lot of people telling me "you need to get out" and I was so exhausted I thought, maybe they're right, maybe if I do something fun I will feel better. I really regret doing that, because made my recovery take longer and left me a mess. And those were the helpful people saying that, the unhelpful people were complaining that they were bored and then leaving in a huff.

I don't think you are overreacting. Plus, a lot of men don't really understand what it means to host guests. They think the extra food and bedding just magically appears. I think it's important to make clear to everyone that you need time to focus on recovery and the baby.

DH wants to fly MIL in when the baby comes and have her stay with us for a week or two. Well, I pointed out to him that we only have one bed in the whole entire house -- ours -- and when he said she could sleep on the couch because he didn't want his mother in a hotel room... I had to explain that the baby will be up crying at all hours of the night, and was it really nice for him to make his mom sleep on the couch through all that when we could just pay for a hotel room nearby? That worked. I'll be grateful to have her here, but our house is not houseguest-friendly and probably won't be for a long time, since we just moved in in April and I have no time to make it so (nor will I anytime soon!)