I just wrote this whole big long post and deleted it.

Basically I am feeling really down and like I am not doing "enough" this holiday season even though I know in my logical brain that I am doing WAY MORE than enough and that no one in my life would ever think this of me. It's totally an internal criticism/anxiety/depression funk and I am not sure how to shake it.

Thinking about everything I have been and am doing just seems to make me more anxious. Like, with all that I do, there are still things I should be doing "better" or "more" and if that's the case, how will I ever feel adequate?

I am working a TON right now, including about 20-25% travel for a week at a time. And I feel like I am especially dropping the ball with my mom, who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and who I will not see over the holidays. And I have let so few balls get dropped, but I can't help but keep feeling like I have - or will soon.

What do you do when you feel this way? Do other people feel this way even or do I just have these wildly unrealistic expectations of myself? Sigh. I am just so tired.