My husband and I rarely fight. But I'd be lying if I said we never fight. When you are fighting with your hubby, how do you do it? I don't like fighting in front of the baby, so am I just supposed to hold everything in until bed time? What do you do?
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The hubs and I very rarely fight. In fact, we don't actually "fight"...It's usually me becoming upset/angry and then totally exploding. The hubs lets me be emotional until I've gotten everything out and then he talks me through whatever is wrong. When all this happens, yeah, it's when the baby is sleeping. My parents have a wonderful marriage but I remember every one of their fights because they would fight in front of us! I don't want to fight in front of my kids.
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DH and I haven't had a real "fight" since our first month of marriage. We definitely don't want to fight/argue in front of our children. DD's still young so we're going to have to figure out how we're going to handle future fights.
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we argue a bit so i'm not sure what we're going to do with the little ones come. ugh. my emotions show on my face too. i gotta try to control that. i agree with not wanting to fight in front of the kids though. i remember one time when my dad took a bunch of dishes and threw it on the floor.
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My parents would NEVER fight or even bickered in front of us-they'd wait untoil we went to sleep AND sit on the car so we wouldn't hear. My mom says its one of her biggest parenting regrets actually, as it set unrealistic expectations about relationships for me and my sister. Since all couples have disagreements and arguments she said she wishes she would have let us see that people can fight, be angry, work it out and still love each other.
Both my sister and I married men who.DO NOT argue.with us.... DH just does not engage.in arguments and my BIL is the same way..... weird, huh?
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My parents bickered in front of us pretty regularly, they had a great relationship (in fact my friends often say that they use my parents as a role model for a healthy marriage). We definitely weren't scarred by knowing that my parents argued. We learned a lot about fighting fair, making up, and compromising from my parents arguing in front of us. I wouldn't try to hide healthy disagreements from my kids. Unless you are bad fighters that cross the line into being hurtful or abusive, I can't see where it would be anything but good for kids to see the workings of a healthy relationship.
FYI - Me and my sisters were always totally secure in our parents relationship, we were well aware that arguing was normal and healthy in a relationship, and that fighting didn't mean our family would break apart.
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i think it's fine to have disagreements in front of the LO. it will teach her some life lessons and we always hug/kiss at the end of it to show her that we're really not mad at each other. as far as really bad fights, we rarely ever do that, but i think those are a different story and it wouldn't be a good idea to do that in front of the LO. it might really scare her at this young age especially.
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We argue in front of the LO because that's life. Neither of us are perfect and we both get on each other's nerves. We don't really fight though with banging doors or stuff.
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I agree that it's healthy for kids to see arguing as long as it doesn't get out of hand. We have our share of "discussions" but we save the serious stuff 'til after bedtime.
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I would not be comfortable arguing in front of the kids. Maybe when they are older, that might change... but for now, I make it a point to not raise my voice in front of the kids.
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9 comments