I can definitely see how 6 Month+ TTCers could benefit from having their own thread. It would sometimes (or maybe all the time) be hard to see newbies come and go through the POAS thread.
But it made me wonder: Do First Time Newbie TTCers have different needs/thought processes/desires then the average TTCer?
What do you think?
grapefruit / 4770 posts
Yes!!! I need a place where it's okay for me to complain or worry even though I haven't been trying very long. I truly hate that anyone has to struggle with wanting something so badly, and I think everyone should be sensitive to that. I also think we should remember how hard it is to ttc no matter if you are struggling, trying for # 1 or 2+, or brand new. I just honestly don't want to feel invalidated just because I haven't been trying for long, or told to just relax.
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: YES! I LOVE It. It didn't occur to me that OTHER people might not want to see our bantering. DUH!
Well..Here is your place.
FIRST TIME NEWBIE TTCERS
Welcome.
persimmon / 1167 posts
And I see these type of someecards and they make me feel kind of bad, because I really only want it to take three months.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@HolisticMama: Hell, it may only take me 3 months, but that doesn't mean I don't still have feelings and emotions. I think that's just my point without trying to sound like a broken record. I'm not blissfully floating by, I also worry something may be wrong because you don't truly know until you have a lo in your arms. If you are actively trying, you are just as much on the ttc rollercoaster!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: I agree.
I'm also in a weird situation because I went to the RE BEFORE TTC.
I'm kind of in a weird place. The doctor basically told us that we are infertile, but I'm only on Cycle 2. And I'm so crazy hopeful.
A strange limbo land.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@HolisticMama: I absolutely 
your optimism and positive attitude. It is really uplifting. My family has a heart condition, so we will not be trying past my 29th b-day. We've got some time, but still it's nerve wrecking!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: Wow! How interesting. How did you decide not to try past 29? I would hate to have that type of hard stop deadline.
honeydew / 7295 posts
hahahah love these. i am okay with the POAS thread but i do think it would be nice to be able to bitch even if you are just a neurotic
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@HolisticMama: Every woman on my mother's side age 30 or over has either died in childbirth, or the child has died. Weak hearts.
persimmon / 1167 posts
One thing I wish that I knew going into my first cycle was that pretty much EVERYTHING could be considered an early pregnancy symptom. And that it's perfectly normal to symptom spot.
There is such a short window of time in a woman's life where can she feel and/or believe that she might be pregnant. Why not feel pregnant ever cycle you are trying?
I just wish there was one symptom that without a doubt would be a symptom of being pregnant. I thought FOR SURE my veins boobs were a definite symptom last cycle. Turns out I just have veiny boobs.
I'm really interested to see how Cycle 2 differs from Cycle 1.
persimmon / 1167 posts
Do you think that society kind of frowns on being crazy insanely optimistic when you first start TTC?
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@HolisticMama: No, I don't think so or at least feel that the words of caution letting me know that it may not happen right away were NOT coming from a mean, judgmental place.
oops: i left out Not
persimmon / 1167 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It kind of reminds me of when I was on the "Not Engaged Yet" board on The Knot. They were absolutely Nazis about not wanting people to pre-plan. For the most part- it was not from a mean, judgmental place (When it started becoming that way..I walked away).
I think I would have really enjoyed pre-planning my wedding. And I'm not sure it would have hurt anyone. Once I got engaged, I was totally overwhelmed, it would have been nice to have been able to pull from day dreams and pinterest boards.
I feel the same way about my TTC journey. And this time I think I am enjoying "pre-planning." If I had the extra cash, I would probably buy a convertible nursery set and just have it setup as the day bed for guests. I need furniture in that room anyways. What's the big deal?
It's funny, because the girls on the Not Engaged Yet board would always use buying baby furniture before getting pregnant as an example...
And yes...I guess I would buy the furniture. I am absolutely positive that I will be a mother someday. By what means? I'm not sure...but DH and I will be parents in the future. 
grapefruit / 4311 posts
@dc yoga bee: as a former 6+ board lady, I think that to me the POAS main thread is totally the place to bitch and moan and be annoyed with TTC whether you are 1 month in or 2 years in. You shouldn't ever feel bad about doing that there!
the separate board made it easier for me to share in the monthly process, without feeling sad because i totally wouldn't want my circumstance to rain on the main POAS board parade!
all that to say that i totally think you should let it all out what you are feeling! we all have the right to our experience
persimmon / 1167 posts
@runnerd: "We all have the right to our experience"
I will remember that. You are a wise wise woman. 
grapefruit / 4770 posts
I agree with @Mrs. Lemon-Lime, that words of caution that it may not happen right away aren't coming from a mean place. I just think we're expected not to get our hopes up
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: Part of me thinks that the TTC journey would be so stressful and sad without getting my hopes up.
I guess everyone needs to figure out how they handle disappointment and decide how they want to react to the emotions that arise during their journey.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@HolisticMama: Easier said than done probably though lol. I haven't decided yet how i want to deal. Mmmm nonchalance is what I'm aiming for! I'm making sure to stay excited about other things. Yoga, my dogs, upcoming cruise, planning other trips etc. ..
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: I bet how you handle the TTC journey changes over time. I wonder how most people approach it...
grapefruit / 4028 posts
I was lurking here, though I don't belong. I am so excited for all of you ladies! And I am really enjoying getting to know you and commiserate with you in the POAS board.
I think its so hard because you can't always understand the other side of the spectrum, as much as you can try to sympathize. Those of us at 6+ plus can often forget how hopeful we were at the beginning and how disappointed we were when it didn't happen as quickly as we would like, and those in the earlier stages are lucky to not yet know what its like farther down the road. Each experience is valid and emotionally stressful.
@runnerd was right in saying it can be hard because no one wants to rain on the others parade. I am at that point in my journey where I am often bitter and feeling like things are unfair, and I know I don't want to make those at the beginning stages feel invalidated by their very valid feelings of frustration and disappointment.
Anywho, I just wanted to pop in and spread some love and say that even if we do end up with separate threads for some things, I hope we can still all get together to chat and support one another!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@dc yoga bee: I totally felt crazy last cycle. I spent like..an entire day researching all the different animals that have phantom pregnancies.
I just didn't want to feel crazy for feeling pregnant if I wasn't.
Weird justification.
persimmon / 1167 posts
@Crystal: You won't be able to get rid of me. I made the leaderboard today. Whoops. I like posting EVERYWHERE.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
@HolisticMama: Good, because you know how much I love ya.
I didn't mean to disrupt your conversation, I'll leave now!
pear / 1846 posts
@Crystal: totally agree with you, I think it is lovely that you now have your own thread but I would miss not having our joint thread! Plus we might be on due date threads together someday!
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@runnerd: Just saw this. Thank you!
@Crystal: I think you hit the nail on the head on both side
nectarine / 2784 posts
Hi all! Jumping in here because I'm a TTC newbie (though not new to the process, I've been charting for over a year..can't wait to get a break from that routine!) and also I'm still getting acquainted with the boards and had trouble following the big poas thread -especially from my phone.
@HolisticMama: I already bought furniture! Also a bunch of cloth diapers and some other odds and ends. I just pick things up here and there and have been doing this since probably a year before we started trying. It's not that I'm super optimistic, just really practical. The more I spread purchases out while we're still trying and it doesn't put much of a dent in the budget, the less of a burden it will be when the baby comes, as far as upfront cost and the time it takes to get everything. I'm not superstitious at all, and whether it takes a cycle or a decade, buying simple practical things ahead of time is not going to have any effect on my fertility. Some of us are just planners!
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@anyajenkins: ooh cloth diapers. I want to cd so bad, but DH thinks it's gross. I love researching all about them. What kind did you get? And welcome!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@anyajenkins: Welcome, welcome!
DH and I are going to CD. I'm also interested if there is a brand you are interested in.
I told my cloth diapering store that I am going to go in and buy soap every month that I have a BFN. LOL.
cherry / 108 posts
Hey everyone- totally new to this ttc thing. I thing the toughest part for me ( as a type a planner) is waiting to see symptoms that may/ may not appear-- for a baby that may/ may not be conceived. Too many variables---when you're used to planning everything out and making thing happen this process can be trying. So happy to have the support of fellow Bees because my husband is tired of hearing about my made up symptoms or at least I assume he is!!!!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@Lady Hibiscus: I will listen to your symptoms all day long, because I have them too. LOL.
I told DH about them last cycle, but I'm trying to keep my mouth shut now, because if this cycle is "the one"- I want him to be surprised!
cherry / 108 posts
@holisticmama- considering how much I complain the chances of it ever being a surprise are slim to none lol:) but I am glad I am not alone!!!!!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@Lady Hibiscus: Haha. Not alone! I complained A LOT last month. Let me get DH's opinion: "I think you just complain a lot."
HAHA. Brutally honest significant other.
What have you been complaining about?
I was complaining about being tired, my boobs hurt wicked bad and I had some tummy issues a bit.
We'll see what this 2WW brings. I'm now used to being tired during the 2WW. I think it's the progesterone. So I'm just trying to roll with the punches.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Yay you started the thread! Thank you!
Now I feel normal in here. This is my first cycle off BCP and while I bought all the TTC tools I have not started charting. I have been waiting for cycle 2 to start, but then I have been symptom checking like crazy!
It's been frustrating not knowing when AF is even coming and if I can possibly POAS or not. Sometimes I think there is no way since I don't even know when I O, but I am hopeful that maybe it's just that easy 
nectarine / 2784 posts
I'm following the advice I've read on a bunch of forums and trying a few of each kind and see what works best for me/my husband- prefolds, pockets and AIO. I have a bunch of bum genius (I keep my eye out for seconds sales and promotions on the cotton babies site) some flip covers, Charlie bananas, a few kinds of prefolds. Good idea to stock up on soap too!
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