papaya / 10473 posts
@Torchwood: You don't owe anyone anything. Your feelings are valid, no matter what they are. You are the person going through this process, and no one can dictate the way you navigate it. I'm sorry you were questioned here when HB is usually such an amazing source of support. I hope you don't let the nasty comment push you away, because you are a valued member of this community.
nectarine / 2433 posts
@Torchwood: Thank you for updating us. You and your family have been in my thoughts recently. You have handled this entire situation with more grace, courage and compassion than many people would be able to muster. I hope you receive all the love and support that you need to heal.
papaya / 10473 posts
@LindsayInNY: Edit: I will wall you, out of respect for keeping this thread focused on support for Torchwood.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@LindsayInNY: Actually my comment was directly aggressive, not passive aggressive and I stand by every word of it.
pomegranate / 3383 posts
@torchwood: thank you for being so open and honest with your journey. to you and your family. I've learned through many events in my life that accepting and expressing "this sucks" is incredibly cathartic (and accurate).
nectarine / 2600 posts
@Torchwood: been thinking of you. Hope you are healing, physically and emotionally. Wishing you peace, and sending you love.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
My phone is about to die but real quickly I want to apologize for taking part in allowing this thread to get so off topic. We should be focused on Torchwood. I am just appalled that anyone would post anything other than love and support on a thread like this.
honeydew / 7235 posts
@Torchwood: thank you for the update. I have been thinking of you and wish only the best for you and your husband moving forward.
I think it's wonderful that you are sharing your experience online for others who may be in a similar situation.
pomelo / 5257 posts
I'm so sorry. There's really nothing more constructive I can (or should) say here than I'm sorry, thank you for sharing your story, and you are a brave, wonderful woman. Keep trusting in yourself and don't let anyone else bring you down. My heart goes out to you.
honeydew / 7589 posts
I am so, so sorry for you loss and everything you have gone through.
I am so, so sorry that not everyone in this community continued to show you love and support without adding to your pain.
You don't need to explain or justify anything to anyone. No one here understands the magnitude of what you have experienced, and it's not something you can explain. Just please know that there are many, many people here thinking about you every day, and hoping that you find healing and strength over time.
pomelo / 5820 posts
@Torchwood: My thoughts are with you. This isn't a decision that you need to justify or defend. You have the support of many, myself included. Hoping for peace and healing for you.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Can everyone please focus on the fact that @torchwood is healing and grieving, please? Apologies have been made and irrelevant opinions have been stated and lastly, please, let's move on or give some love to the OP.
If one has nothing nice to say then one shouldn't say anything oooooor, just wall the person you want to argue with.
pomelo / 5607 posts
@MrsMcD: Obviously not a fan of some of what you said (and I appreciate you editing it, even if it was more self-defense), but I do think you have a valid point that I was focused more on me and didn't write much about her. I had my reasons, primarily that that side of it is far more painful, and I'm not sure I've even started to deal with it. I also didn't know really how to write it. But I think maybe explaining why I didn't write it at first is the jumping off point I needed to get me started. So while I still think you were out of line, I think you asked a question that others will be wondering about as well, and just know that I'll be responding to it as I'm able to find the words.
For those that defended me, thank you, and don't worry. I'm prepared for and expecting far nastier comments in the future, and this one really did help get me thinking about some things that I was struggling to express.
papaya / 10473 posts
@Torchwood: You don't owe anyone any kind of explanation. I wouldn't give that person another thought. Grief is a process unique to each person experiencing it. Be kind to yourself
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
My heart goes out to you and I am glad that you popped over to fill us in. Been thinking about you a lot. Grief takes a LOT of time, so please don't let anyone tell you how to process or how you *should* feel. We aren't in your shoes, and until any of us is there, there is no knowing what your reactions (initial or otherwise) would be. Sending lots of love your way.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
@Torchwood: I'm sorry for how I made you feel. I will keep you and your baby in my thoughts and prayers and pray you find healing.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Torchwood: Thank you so much for updating us. I'm relieved to hear that you are recovering well. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now. You are a wonderfully brave woman and an amazing mother. So much love for you and your family.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
Just wanted to tell you that I appreciate your willingness to share such a deeply emotional and personal journey. My thoughts and the thoughts of my family are with you, your husband, and your little girl, Katlyn. You had a truly, truly agonizing decision to make. You have my deep respect.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
You are gracious and honest and I am truly in awe of you sharing such a personal and deeply emotional story.. I am praying for you and your family. All my wishes that you find peace in this time of grief and healing.
pomegranate / 3521 posts
@Torchwood: You are amazing. I can't imagine having to go through what you have been through.. but also being able to share it with a community so others can learn from you.. sending love, love and more love.
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
Thank you for taking the time to share an update with us. I've thought of you often. Every single feeling you have felt is justified, and I am humbled by the amount of courage and bravery you possess to be able to share those feelings. I believe that someone will find great solace in your words.
It is a great tragedy that people who believe themselves to be living in the image of the son of a god cannot shut off their opinions long enough to offer support to a suffering human. I don't often comment, and do not want to derail this further, but I feel obliged to let you know that I am deeply sorry for the suffering and loss you have experienced, and also for the suffering that others may cause you. I can't imagine the loss you have experienced, and for anyone to bring into question your mourning or grief is simply put, an additional trauma.
I hope that you will be able to find peace and healing.
clementine / 918 posts
I, of course, cannot speak for @Torchwood: but I know that I grieved most for Lucas while we were making decisions for him and while we waited for him to pass. After he was gone, I knew he was in a better place and I grieved, and continue to grieve, for myself, my family, and the future that I wanted that I know I couldn't have. I have similar feelings thinking why did I have to go through so much - pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, living in a hospital for 8 months, devoting everything to him - when we don't have him. I know that I would do it all again even if I knew what was going to happen because I love him and want him to have every moment of happiness he can have but it feels so unfair that everything I went through seems to have had no purpose.
nectarine / 2152 posts
I'm so sorry for your loss and pain, thank you for updating us and sharing your situation. I think you are incredibly brave, and will be holding you and your husband in my
coffee bean / 31 posts
@Torchwood: @Ms.Badger: What you have both been through is so completely heartbreaking and unimaginable to me. I hope that you both find peace and solace knowing that you had to make tremendous decisions for your LOs. You both strike me as incredible and compassionate mothers.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
You have been in my thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I pray that every day will get easier for you and your husband.
clementine / 918 posts
Please, please don't make this about me. Just trying to support @Torchwood:
persimmon / 1096 posts
@Ms.Badger: So well said. Thank you.
@Torchwood: You've been in my thoughts often - I'm so sorry for all your suffering. You made such a brave and selfless decision for your little girl. I cannot imagine being in your shoes, but if I were, I know I would draw immeasurable strength and comfort from hearing your story and knowing that someone else out there understood. Keeping you and your husband in my
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@Ms.Badger: so lovely to see support for Torchwood for someone who knows how she's feeling. I'm so sorry that either of you had to go through these terrible losses. It's simply not fair.
apricot / 409 posts
Thank you for letting us know how you're doing, I've been thinking of you and your family often. As others have said, you are a strong woman and wonderful mother. You owe no one am explanation and I appreciate your honesty and candidness in this impossible time.
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