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@Silva:
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It is so good to see you back
I spent so much time thinking about you since your last post. You really were in a situation where there were no good answers, only various degrees of painful ones. Sending you healing and peace.
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Glad to hear from you, you've been on my mind lately. I'm glad you're both doing well. Big hugs and wishes for better days to come.
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Think of and praying for you!
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I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through and am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. I hope that you find peace and comfort in the days ahead knowing you made the best decision for her. Your strength amazes me and is truly inspiring. Thinking of you and your family.
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@Torchwood:
thank you for taking the time to update us and for sharing your family's story. I'm so sorry for your loss and all you have been through.
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Thinking of you
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Woke up this morning to a few dozen flags on this thread, both on MsMcD's post and on several of the replies. The power here goes out every morning at 6 am (Bee and I are visiting my parents, in a remote village in the Philippines), so I asked my parents to turn on the generator so I could check out this thread.
I can't see the original comment which triggered most of the flags, as it has been edited. On that note: we are looking into changing the flagging software so that when a post is flagged, a copy of the post is included in the email alerts that Bee and I receive.
I appreciate that Torchwood was so amazingly gracious with her replies in this thread. I will discuss this thread with Bee when she wakes up (we're still jet lagged) and loop back.
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So glad to hear from you and wishing you healing and peace. @silva said what I'd like to say, but better so reread her post for me.
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@torchwood: You're very brave and thoughtful to put your story out there and I'm certain it will help many others. Wishing you continued healing and peace in the months to come.
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I am so glad you came back to update. Every time your last post was bumped, you were in my thoughts. I really hope you and your husband are able to heal. I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. For what it's worth, I think you are incredibly strong and brave to face the decision you have had to face.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and floored by your strength and courage. All the best to you and yours.
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@Torchwood: Sending lots of love your way as you heal. I can't imagine having to make the decision that you had to.
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@Torchwood: I am so sorry for all you have gone through. You have been incredibly strong and selfless throughout all of this, showing such poise and strength in everything that you have posted. I have been thinking of you constantly and will continue to do so as you embark on your healing process. Big hugs and all the love in the world to you.
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Thinking of you
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all my love to you and your family
I know that when we made our decision to terminate at 20weeks, like Ms Badger said, a lot of the grieving took place in making the decision and not in the actual act. I was incredibly light hearted for weeks after we gave birth to our son and that was my way of coping at the time; it did not mean that I was not in mourning for the loss of my baby boy. I think you've been so brave and I wanted to thank you for being so open about your story - it has helped me to heal a little.
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Thinking of you and sending you tremendous amounts of
. Thank you so much for updating. I want to share a story with you: Ten years ago, I participated in a huge Planned Parenthood march in Washington, DC. I am unapologetically pro-choice under any circumstance, but the experience moved me beyond anything I experienced before or since because of one simple sign. At one point during the march, I found myself behind a couple in their 30s who were each wearing t-shirts printed with a late-term ultrasound picture and a message expressing that sometimes termination isn't about *choice* - sometimes it's about the most selfless thing parents can do to ensure their child has peace.
At that moment, I committed myself to the fight to preserve choice; and it's a battle I have worked on every day since. Today, as I cry typing this out and thinking of you, I am committing myself to supporting you. If you need ANYTHING, please let me know.
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@septca: Your replay just hit me so hard!
I am not a fan of abortion, but with that said the way
that shirt was worded, is amazing!!!! Its not always a form of "birthcontrol"
Most people that still wouldnt understand that type of situation most likely have an opinion on a subject they might have studied but know nothing about!!!! I think they forget just how blessed they are to never think of these things... they should focus on that!!!!!!With that said, the strength and admoration both ladies show is a true testimony to God's grace!!!! They are amazing mothers!!!!!!!!
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@Torchwood: I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through. Please let me know if you need any online resources to help support your grief. It helps to connect with other loss parents to help validate your feelings.
I know my experience isn't the same, but I know how it feels to labor with a late/full term stillborn. It's awful, and, for anyone else reading, yes there's a relief when the baby is out. You don't labor a stillborn the same as a live birth, because baby isn't doing their part. So, you have to be 100%. It's SO hard. Once that body is out, it feels so much better...PHYSICALLY. But, also emotionally, cause that part is finally over. It's so hard to go through labor, knowing that it is for nothing. Just like live birth, it cannot be explained until you go through it.
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Keeping your family in my thoughts. I hope for strength, healing and peace for you and yours. Your strength and courage are admirable.
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@Torchwood: I'm so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you, your husband and baby girl at this difficult time. Not that you need anyone's validation, but I think you made an incredibly selfless choice.
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Thinking of you. Glad to hear you are doing as well as can be expected. xo.
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So happy to hear from you. I think about you and your husband often! I am so, so sorry you had to go through that.
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@FaithFertility: YES to this, all of it! Situations like this give me pause and remind me why it is not my place to judge. Selfless love can take on many forms, and I cannot know the heart of another.
@Dandelion: I also never thought about this-that not only is there no joy at the end, but that the baby can't work, either. That sounds awful. No wonder you feel relief.
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@LovelyPlum: It's also just getting through that part of the horrible "to do" list that's a relief. Just one step getting closer to "normal", even though each step leaves a huge emotional scar.
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@Dandelion: fair enough.
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@Dandelion: The support you offer to other moms who have angel babies is incredibly selfless and kind. Your willingness to stand in the gap for other mamas gives me so much
for you!
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@grizz: thanks. There's a fog you have to muddle through when you're in it. I had a loss mom take me under her wing. I was able to ask, "Is it normal to feel this way?" over everything (flowers, people, the whole situation). It was so valuable to me. There's no one that can do that who hasn't been through it.
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@Torchwood: You are such a strong, loving, and courageous woman. I am so sorry that you have had to make decisions no mother should ever have to make. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can begin to heal and find peace. So much
to you.
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@Torchwood: @Ms.Badger: @Dandelion: @imbali: I am so sorry for the losses each of you have experienced. I am blown away by your strength.
@Torchwood: Thank you so much for updating. I have been thinking about you every day, and I will continue to do so. You are so so brave. Your responses on this thread are so gracious and mature, they are striking. I think sharing your experience will make a real difference for others facing similar situations and I really commend you for doing so.
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@imbali: exactly this. Otherwise, you wallow in grief, which feels horrible.
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I've been thinking of you often. I'm glad to see an update from you.
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Thank you again for all the support. It really means SO much. And for those who are interested in the post that resulted from yesterday's comments, that's up on the blog too. Though it might make you cry, just a head's up. (@MrsMcD)
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@Torchwood: I just read your new post and you couldn't have conveyed your emotions any more beautifully. I definitely cried. So much love.
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My heart breaks for you. Sending love.
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@Torchwood:
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@Torchwood: I cried for you, C and River. I wish I had something more profound to say. Thinking of you guys daily.
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@Torchwood:
My heart is broken for you.
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@Torchwood: I read your latest blog post and yes, that is exactly the feelings I went through. How crazy does it seem to mourn someone you don't even know? We think about S a lot. Even with M here, we think about so much that we missed out on with her. It's so sad and I still miss her very much.
I guess I'm just saying I know how you feel.
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