Do you wish you waited a little longer? DS is 10 months old, and I THINK i would like starting to TTC #2 when he is around 14 months old. I really struggle with this decision and have been trying to weigh the pros and cons, but am looking for advice from those with personal experience. If we were to wait then they would probably be spaced about 3 years because DS goes to daycare and I would like to avoid having a newborn during cold and flu season if possible.
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I have kids spaced just over two years apart - and I really like it. They're 7 and 5 now and great together.
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We are 28 months apart. I am very certain I wouldn't want them any closer. The more independent DS1 gets, the easier life is.
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Subbing... just in case
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@Mrs. Yoyo: I totally didn't realize your boys had that age gap! I may become your new bff bugging you for tips. if all goes well, we will have that exact age gap.
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Mine will be just under two years apart. Hopefully it's ok.
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@oliviaoblivia: haha, same here. Mine will be 22 months, so I'm crossing my fingers that it'll be a good age gap.
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We originally wanted kids very close in age. That didn't work out for us and now even if I got pregnant RIGHT NOW, LO and the 2nd baby would be 28m months apart at the least.
Honestly? I am so grateful for that silver lining. Everyday is a challenge of energy and patience with my son. He is gettin better every month though. He is slowly learning small tasks of independence and getting easier in general (For example: he waits for dinner now instead of crying until it is done).
I think about how he will be at least day-time potty trained by the time baby #2 is born. I think about how he will be FF in his car seat and that'll free up more space in my car. I think about how he will be in part time preschool and give me alone with with baby #2. So, I think a 2+ year difference is a huge advbatage.
Trust me: a 14m old baby and a 19m old (mine is currently 19m) are soooo different. Each month brings more and more indepenace and "maturity." -
Mine are 20 months apart. DS2 is only 2 weeks old so we'll see how it goes. It hadn't been hard so far but I have a lot of family support. I know that makes a difference!
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@Ginger333: Thanks for your response! I was hoping someone with older kids would weigh in. I keep trying to tell myself that the infant/toddler years are so short lived and that maybe two close in age would be better for our family in the long run.
@CupQuakeWalk: You are so right about the independence piece. Honestly that's one thing I'm worried about. How can I juggle two very young kids and meet both their needs at the same time.... It obviously can be done, but will it be at the cost of my sanity? haha
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@Mrs. Yoyo: that's what I am thinking!
I would prefer, given the choice, to have 2+ years or 3 years apart.
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@Greentea: My LO is 21 months old and we still haven't started TTC, so there's going to be at least a 3 year age gap for us. From 12 months until now, toddlerhood can be tough. I'm glad that we've waited so that we can through some of the toddler nuances before adding another one to the mix.
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@cascademom: lo is almost a year and babyhood was ... high maintenance! She just started to decide she wouldn't sleep in her crib and has to be in our bed and I get even less sleep than her usual 5-6 wakeups because she is rolling around and kicking me!
haha! I'm totally venting but yeah, I know we can't always *choose* but I would love 3 years so she is potty trained (hopefully!) and a little more independent... our kindergarten starts at 4 so I would prefer not to have a newborn right then...
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My LOs will be 28 months apart. I was not happy about it while TTC #2, but I'm really excited now. LO has changed SO much in just the past few months. It was a good reminder that even 24-28 months will bring even more changes and independence.
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@oliviaoblivia: You and me both, friend. We'll wade through it together!
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@skipper2010: Same boat here. we're currently NTNP, but I haven't had my cycles return yet. Otherwise, we're thinking maybe shortly after DS's 1st birthday in July... I'm nervous about them being this close in age since DS still doesn't STTN. Oof!
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@Greentea: It sounds close to what our age gap is going to be like. Ours more or less is happening because toddlerhood caught up with us. I also wanted to work on my weight loss as well, so it pushed it back for us.
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@sorrycharlie: happy to answer any questions
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Liked it so much I did it twice!
DD was born 3/12/10
DS#1 was born 2/22/12
DS#2 was born 12/27/13
That's about 23 months apart. So I guess I have both age differences (DD and DS #2 are almost 4 years apart).
Pros for close together
-In diapers together and therefor out of diapers together
-Grow up friends
-In school together
-Don't remember a time without the baby so I've NEVER dealt with jealousy
-you are used to being needed (with a child's independence you forget how much a baby is needy)
-DD's schedule (nap/preschool/play dates) isn't as conducive to accommodating a baby's schedule as my 2year old son'sCons
-my 4 year old can play on her own and is pretty independent
-she is helpful (clears her own dishes, cleans up her toys)
-she understands she has to be gentle with the baby (I'm convinced my older son will kill the baby, out of love, but still!)
- this may seem like a dumb reason, but with the age difference of my kids it's hard to make mommy friends. They either have a 4 year old or a baby, not really both so play dates can be hardIf I think if anymore I'll let you know. Overall I'm happy with the age difference
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Mine are 26 months apart. I'm stretched thin and can't imagine how I'd be if the age gap were closer.
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@Alivoo01: Oh man I think the two of us might be a little nuts! Didn't we JUST do this?! haha It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. Maybe we'll go through this together again. Eeek!
My cycles have returned so we are definitely still preventing!!@MamaBehr: Thanks for the pros and cons list! Gives me a lot to think about.
@Rubies: Yikes! That's the type of stuff that scares me. I'm already so busy with DS that it's hard to imagine adding another to the mix. But at the same time, does it ever really get easier? A friend of mine has a 3 year old and a newborn and she said her son never went through the terrible two's, it's the terrible threes she's dealing with. So she has a newborn needing her attention and a 3 year old throwing temper tantrums. I hope it gets easier for you soon.
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@skipper2010: Mine are 20 months apart. The early months were tough, but it's so much fun now.
We potty trained DD right before her 2nd birthday, so I had 2 in diapers for 3ish months.DS is 17 months old and DD is 3 years 2 months old currently and life is good!
They play well together and it seriously kills me every day.
haha! I'm totally venting Reply
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