We are very good friends with a couple that has a child the same age as LO1. We see them 1-2 times a week on average. Given how much time we spend with them, I obviously like them a lot!

But we have some differences in parenting styles, which I would characterize as them being more directly involved in what their kid is doing and us less so. I don't generally have a problem with this, except when they end up parenting our kids in situations where I am also there and where I don’t think it’s affecting their kid.

Some examples:
-Our kids have to choose food from what's served for a meal, but otherwise they get to choose what and how much they eat. (Which sometimes means no veggies, for example) They want their child to eat some of all of the foods presented, and they sometimes try to get our kids to do the same.
-Our kids often want the same toy or to be in the same space, and we try to let them work it out before intervening (or by just pointing out the disagreement they seem to be having), except if one child is physically hurting the other or if they don’t seem to be able to resolve it themselves after several minutes. (This is when it’s just our two kids involved, not our friends’ kid. If our friends’ child is involved, we generally intervene much sooner.) But they tend to intervene as soon as one child shows any distress and sometimes even when neither child seems upset at all.

I don’t think these issues are a big deal for the kids, but they do bother me a bit. I sometimes feel a bit like I am being implicitly chastised for not doing my parenting job (which is probably not their intention, but it’s my reaction in the moment). And I think both DH and I end up over-responding (at least according to our own parenting ideas) when they are around to avoid them having to step in.

I don’t know that this is anything I necessarily want to “fix.” But I’m curious to get others' perspective, on either side of the situation. Does this happen with any of your friends? What’s your response?