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no, i didn't get that question. are there a lot of other working moms where you are? sorry you're getting annoying comments.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I got that question all the time even 3 kids later they ask me what I'm still doing working. I just smile and nod. I work with elderly people though. So I just ignore their judgement.

Interestingly it was the opposite - no one asked if I planned to SAH and everyone assumed I would return. Or if they thought I wouldn't return they didn't ask. I knew I was not going to go back but I didn't say anything until after maternity leave.

Yes!! I hated it. I think people were just afraid I wasn't coming back.

But I did have friends of friends make nasty, hurtful comments about how I was essentially abandoning my daughter.

Then I found this, and it helped a lot: http://www.scarymommy.com/dear-children-im-not-sorry-i-work/

Now if people make comments about me working and sending LO to daycare, I say "You're right. Poor C. I can't possibly imagine how horrible it is for all those people to love her instead of just her family." That shuts them up.

All the time! I get asked even now about #2 who is yet to even be concieved...lol

@FaithFertility: Ha, me too! My boss basically asked if I was pregnant by asking if I was drinking tonight at our Christmas dinner, lol.
(He knows I'm not in it for the long haul though - I work one day in the office, one day at home. I do nothing. It's a total scam )

@jlm22: Nice! I am a teacher, love what I do, but they also know I loved being home with DD so I think they think #2 and I'm gone for good!
They might be right?!?...lol

Yeah, but most people at my work are pro-WOH. Which is funny b/c inside I'm thinking I rather SAH if $ isn't an issue!

I occasionally got asked, but in a curious way, I never particularly felt judgment either way. I did have one colleague ask on a conference call, which was awkward. Most people at least acted like they assumed I would, but I also don't think people were totally shocked when I didn't come back.

As for the assumption about staying home after a second- childcare is so expensive here many people stay home after their second because they can't afford to work!

But really my workplace was pretty judgment free in that regard and most of the working parents had their kids in daycare, no big deal.

Not at all by colleagues - I work in a small office with only men. All of their wives work full time and their kids are in daycare. They are all giving me mixed signals (unintentionally) "Take all the time you need!" and "I don't know what we are going to do without you during maternity leave!".

But for people outside of work, it seems that their questions filter through their own experience. Working moms ask me "When are you going back to work". SAH mom's ask "You're planning to stay home, right?"

I got "You had better come back!" a few times. I think everyone knew that I was the breadwinner and couldn't quit, though.

Only one (male) coworker asked if I would be returning to work after the baby's born. I think my boss was afraid to ask - she seemed very relieved when I volunteered that I'd be coming back! I think most people who know me just assume I'll keep working.

Coworkers wonder but I have so many coworkers who went back to work full time after that I don't feel like anyone is judging my decision there.

My colleagues never, ever ask if I planned to stay at home. In fact, its the exact opposite, they are all shockeds that I'm taking 12 weeks instead of 6 to 8. Part of this is the district still doesn't even have a substitute lined up for me, even though they've known about my pregnancy for 5 months.

On the other hand, most of my non-work friends / church friends There are so many things wrong with that assumption, I don't even know where to begin and I'm always surprised when I'm faced with it. If I quit during the school year, I have to pay a $2,000 fee to my district. I'd also be setting up my students for failure, because the district won't find a certified person to teach them this late in the school year. Furthermore, I would lose my health care insurance, lose 7 weeks of sick pay, and lose all my short term disability that I had paid into. I would also lose my eligibility to get $5K of my student loans forgiven at the end of next year. So when people say, "Oh so you have the baby in January and just quit then?" I'm always totally dumbfounded at why they think that's even an option. Don't they realize that I'm contractually and ethically obligated to at least finish the school year?

No. I don't think people are judging, I honestly don't think they care.

@Greentea: I agree, I think it's small talk. No one is really invested in your decisions.

Mompetition is alive and well. I know we all want to think that parents and society in general is supportive of parents, but there are a lot of external pressures and that influences people's worldview. A lot of comments that are directed to you are probably their own issues surfacing.