It's seriously a tale as old as time, but I need to figure out a better way to handle my 3 year old! She refuses dinner and says she's "full" and then not even 20 minutes after we clean up she's asking for popcorn, ice cream, ect. I say "no you finish eating your plate i saved it for you." and she MELTS DOWN! It's awful and it happens 5 out of the 7 days of the week. I tell her if you don't eat you don't get a snack/dessert but it is going in one ear and out the other. How do you handle this? I stick my ground, DH usually gives in to stop the crying. (yeah that's a different issue 
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This happens regularly with my 2 year old. I stand my ground and don't give in to him. He might throw a tantrum, but I try to stay consistent with my ways. Eventually he will learn, right? Since your DH gives in, she knows to keep trying. Eventually she will get what she wants.
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I stand my ground. I will offer her her plate of food again, but she doesn't get any snacks. I may give her a cup of milk if she just won't eat, but that's it.
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If we know they really dont like the food, we will offer a healthy alternative (aka you can have apple slices or a cheese stick) but not a snack snack.
We also let our 4 year old know we aren't going to cook a special second meal but if she wants left overs from a previous night she's welcome to anything (meal wise) in the fridge.
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Another vote for standing my ground. DH will sometimes give in and offer a banana or slice of bread, but certainly no snacky foods.
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In our house he gets one chance to eat. If he leaves during dinner he gets no snacks and DH won't share his dessert with him. We usually warn him of this when he says he's done.
As long as your DH is giving in she'll keep doing it.
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Ours has started doing this too. As soon as she says she's full and is done with dinner, we remind her "no snacks, no dessert" and tell her that we will save her dinner but that's that. Our only concession is that she can have carrot and pepper sticks if she has any left over from snack (I usually give her these after daycare, before dinner). We try to never give in and it helps.
If it is obvious that she tried all the food from dinner and actually didn't like any of it (if we try a new recipe or something), I sometimes give in and give her a healthy snack (usually fruit) but that's it.
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E knows the rules, if he doesn't eat everything on his plate, then no treats. If he has room in his belly for treats, then he had room for the good food from his dinner. When he says he's full, I remind him that there won't be any treats. He either says OK, or eats the rest of his plate.
I agree with others above. As long as your DH caves, she'll keep doing it. She has no motivation to change.
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We also limit or skip snacks before dinner (depending on what time we're eating). This helps him to really be hungry. Sometimes he will still say "all done" two minutes in, then I will tell him he needs to eat more of something or offer him a sauce for his chicken, that kind of thing. I push it a bit, but if he chooses not to eat much, then he will not die until he can eat breakfast
Definitely it will help you if DH gets on the same page with eliminating snacks after dinner.
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@LuLu Mom: My almost 3 year old does this too. We have a standing offer that if she didn't want her dinner, she can have a peanut butter sandwich and/or an apple. I was a picky eater as a kid and grew out of it, so I'm not super pushy about her finishing whatever we ate, as long as she tries a bite of everything. My parents did the peanut butter sandwich and apple thing so I'm just copying them because it kept me fed on nights I wasn't into whatever my mom tried to give me. I figure we always have bread, peanut butter, and apples. We don't let her have any other snacks or treats if she didn't eat her dinner though. And we definitely have to present a united front on this or my DH would let her have Popsicles all the time.
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@My Only Sunshine: i'm going to steal this, thank you!
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I was allowed to have a bowl of cheerios or a pbj growing up if there was a meal I hated. But it didn't happen all the time, just a specific meal like tuna noodle casserole. Have you tried reading the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"? It might help you relate to her better and understand her refusal to avoid the tantrum.
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I'm in the minority here, but I really don't care about whether my 2 year old eats a solid "meal" or whether she only eats snacks, as long as it's healthy snacks. Lo basically grazes from the time she gets home in the afternoon until bedtime, and I'm totally fine with that as long as overall she's getting a balance of food groups. For example, last night for "dinner" she only ate a few bits of pasta with meat sauce and broccoli, but her snacks over the course of the evening were yogurt, cantaloupe, cheese, carrot sticks, cheerios, and about a quarter of a blueberry muffin.
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Build in a nightly snack about an hour after dinner. If she doesn't eat dinner, she needs to wait until bedtime snack. At that point she can have leftovers or a healthy snack of your choice so she doesn't go to bed on an empty stomach. Personally, I'm a grazer myself so k don't care if my kids eat a meal or just snack on healthy stuff. Over the course of the week she gets plenty of the nutritious food she often refuses some nights so it's not a big deal to me.
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DD is a slowwwwwww eater and will try to give up on her dinner and then claim she want a snack / dessert later. She is only allowed to have leftover dinner or a cup of milk. DH is totally on board though, so she doesn't try to keep asking because she knows the answer is no from everyone.
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