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I think people just dont have anything else to say sometimes. My 12 month old doesnt walk yet and people say oh its because she is a girl, because girls walk later than boys which may or may not be true

Ever since I started getting on the Toys R Us website more often for my registry, I've been really bothered by their division of toys into 'Boys' and 'Girls.' Like you, I was very tomboyish as a young kid and loved to climb things, play with my toy cars, and play video games with my dad. I also loved Barbies and dress up!

So, it bothers me when I see toys labelled for one gender. I get that I don't have to listen to the labels, but the labels do create expectations... what if my LO doesn't want to play with something simply because it's labelled 'For Boys'? Will that stop her from engaging in her interests?

LO isn't here yet, so I don't know how I'm going to handle all this, but I definitely get my hackles up about things being gender labeled (and I know we had a thread about using gender vs. sex, so I hope I'm using the words correctly) at such a young age. I want my LO to experience everything, and although there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that her sex is female, I don't want her to ever feel defined by a label.

Ooh that was long.

@Mrsbells: People just say anything. My LO was walking at 11 months and people said it was because she's a girl and girls walk sooner than boys! Haha, it can't be both!

@Mrs. Pen: I think there's some truth to what Mrsbells said, sometimes people don't know what to say. Also, our culture has the gender divisions so engrained. My LO could be wearing a headband but people say, "What a cute little boy!" because she has a blue coat!

I think if J is interested in tap, put him in tap! Maybe you can find a class that has other little boys in it. I also hate that we have to worry about gender stereotypes and what it means to be a boy or girl--when there is no set way to be either one.

what's interesting is that we never pushed "boy" things on charlie. if anything, we encouraged him to play with his play kitchen, dolls, doll stroller, tea set -- stereotypically "girl" toys.

one day i was flipping through an art illustration book and he saw a picture of the hulk. he was instantly mesmerized and asked me a million questions about him. so now even though we do nothing to encourage it (he doesn't watch tv for instance), he is SO into superheroes. gender roles are largely learned, but seeing how charlie gravitates to certain things is really interesting to watch!

meanwhile olive is definitely more of a stereotypical "girl." she is super cautious and dainty while charlie was rough and tumble and climbing everywhere.

I think there's some differences but for a lot of things it's probably like a 60/40 split. Like maybe 60% of boys like climbing trees whereas 40% of girls do (just a random made up example). The labels bother me too, I just don't see any reason to restrict activity based on stereotypes, if the kids fit the mold of the gender stereotypes than so be it but I'm guessing every body - even the most 'manly' man or 'feminine' woman has several interests/characteristics that are deemed more likely to be found in the opposite sex.

I don't remember such a boy/girl split in toys growing up, I think there's just more plastic crap sold and dividing up boy/girl stuff is just a convenient way to make more product. We try to avoid anything over the top but my daughter loves pink and sparkly, so while we avoid that for big purchases that we want to use for multiple kids, we def let her have some pink and sparkles in her life - her ideal is to be pink, sparkly and running through mud and puddles, that's the combo so far she's chosen

@Mrs. Pen: I've always wonder this too! Like do we socially condition are kids to choose boyish/girlish toys based on what the learn or is it internally engrained in our DNA. I think it would be so interesting to see what a kid gravitated to without any outside conditioning. Alas not possible.
For the record my son from like 3 months on has loved everything glittery and pink, im totallu cool with.it. hey if that what makws him happy, go for it little man!
I totallu think c can rock a hellokitty backpack!

I think some of it could be people wanting to participate or relate in some way and stereotypes usually come to mind. It doesn't matter how I dress my son or that I tell people his name, his big blue eyes often skew what they "see" and they will say how pretty SHE is. My son has a kitchen, a baby doll, plenty of plush animals, LOVES to vacuum, and really doesn't like messes or being messy, etc. and he naturally also has a desire to jump off of things, bang on things with a hammer, spend all of his time outdoors, and LOVES trains. To me, what he shows an interest in is what I'll encourage, regardless of stereotype. If other people want to give him stereotypically boy-oriented toys, that's fine, but I won't limit him.

@stargal: bizarre!

I was never really bothered by those comments. Like, @Mrs. Bee: we never encouraged him just to play with trucks, cars, etc. He always gravitated toward boyish toys like planes, cars, super heroes. We have let him choose what he wants to play with. However, as he got a little older, he wanted to be just like his dad and was done with getting into my make-up. I think that inspired him to be more "boy".

Gendering of kids' stuff drives me BANANAS. I agree that there are some innate differences and qualities, but I think a lot is encouraged and enforced by parents, and then once the kids are old enough they've internalized it and police gender roles all on their own.

Even now at 5 months my son is already hearing he's "all boy" because he is busy and loves flying/bouncing. Is that bad? No. But I think busy/rough behavior is encouraged and 'excused' in boys whereas girls are often told to act ladylike or have princess manners. When girls are dramatic or whiney or emotional it's "what a drama queen" whereas boys are told that's "girly" behavior.

I try to quell anyone saying LO can't/shouldn't wear pink, rainbow, legwarmers, whatever it may be as he gets older and encourage him to explore his interests and hope that we can raise him to be confident if that means he is outside the norm.

@Mrs. Pen: one of my best friends growing up was always the only boy in dance and got teased a ton but once he got to high school it became cool again! he now dances/performs professionally - i'm so glad he stuck with it!