My husband and I have been participating in Christmas gift exchanges with our families for the past few years. I feel its a big improvement from having to shop for (and receive from) everyone but honestly it still feels like a chore rather than a fun thing to do. Plus we have SO MUCH STUFF and coming up with wish lists for ourselves is really tough. We have already opted out of all the exchanges but have hurt some feelings in the process - one person mentioned that she feels like it keeps us all in each other's thoughts even if we can't all be together. (To me it is just the opposite - when we can't get together it feels even more impersonal to select a couple of items off someone's list and just order it online with a couple of clicks.)

I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for an alternative. This is all with older relatives who will still buy stuff for the kids so they are not involved. As I mentioned, we can't all get together because people are spread out, so an activity together in lieu of gifts doesn't really work. I did think about exchanging some type of consumable (food or drink) like a wine exchange or something but some folks are not big drinkers and that seems like more trouble than its worth. Please help!!