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  • poll: Do you have a "gifted" child, and are you doing something special about it?
    No : (22 votes)
    48 %
    Yes, but we are not doing much about it : (16 votes)
    35 %
    Yes, and we are doing a few special things to further nurture him/her (please elaborate!) : (8 votes)
    17 %
  1. Greentea

    pomelo / 5678 posts

    An IQ test is required to enter the 20K a year gifted school here. It is interesting, I read an interview (I believe in the lit mag The Sun, with a woman who was in the field of testing children for many years, in Colorado I believe) that most parents do not actually want their child to be gifted because it is essentially more work. In her opinion, most people seemed to want average kids. It is interesting.

  2. erinbaderin

    pomelo / 5573 posts

    I think my son is smart, but he's not yet 3, it's too soon to say (my younger son is only 10 months, I don't even know if he's smart yet). My brother and I were both in the gifted program in school. We were referred and tested - he was 7, I was 9 - and both screened into the program. We went to a "gifted school" through grade 8, and then were in the gifted program in a "regular" high school
    that was a mix of gifted classes (basically the core classes - English, French, maths, sciences) and regular classes (more specialized stuff - drama, creative writing, etc). I definitely had a great experience but I'm not sure if I would put my kids through it. It was tough going from a grade 8 class with 40 kids to a high school with 400 grade 9s, and my schools all involved a 20 minute drive or 45 minutes on the bus, and none of my friends were local.

  3. Orchid

    clementine / 927 posts

    I don't think my children are gifted. I do think the label is too generously applied in many, if not most cases. If your kid knows a lot of stuff that by no means indicates he or she is gifted. Letting them get any idea that they're gifted is potentially detrimental in the long-term.

  4. sunny

    coconut / 8430 posts

    I have no idea if my kid is gifted. She is bright and creative but she isn't reading yet which is usually a marker for giftedness. We will participate in any school testing and if she is referred for special programs we will enthusiastically participate. I think getting the appropriate education for giftedness or non giftedness is important.

  5. irene

    nectarine / 2964 posts

    Just a short note to thank everyone for this discussion. I am truly humbled and I learned so much from you all. I am so happy to have brought this up here.

    I think I am with you guys, I do believe DS is advanced (particularly in reading and maybe math), but not quite "gifted". This thread confirms my belief. We shall see. And then of course he is "average" in areas such as social interaction and expression of his feelings. He is still bursting into tantrums!

    @brownie: I honestly have no idea if my school has a gifted program. Afterall they are in preschool and I suspect they do when they go higher, like everyone said, probably after grade 3. I should ask about it. I was told by this other mom that her DD and my DS was sometimes separated out from the rest of the class and do other assignments (that DS doesn't even tell me. Hm. )

    @Mamaof2: Wow that is an amazing chart. I am blown away. I can't say I know how or where DS would fit in it though.

    @JenGirl: Your experience is so interesting, thank you so much for sharing! Out of curiousity, what could you do back then that makes you "different" from the average child your age?

    @honeybear: Thanks for your comments. I am reading it multiple times

    @FaithFertility: Good to know!! Haha! I have no clue.

    @Greentea: I can not agree more. It's more the guilt of not knowing what to do to nurture the "gift", and if they didn't turn out to be the next Steve Jobs then there would be more guilt. I would rather my son be respectful, self sufficient, and most importantly, happy.

  6. JenGirl

    clementine / 756 posts

    @irene: It's hard to say what I did that was "different" as a small child. I don't remember too much from back then . In general, I've always been an extrememly curious and logical person and I really, truly, love to learn. I'm one of those people who would just go to school forever, if that was an option! As a kid, things often just "made sense" without too much explaining. I've always been a huge reader.

    I know that throughout my childhood, but particularly in my early childhood (preschool age), I gravitated towards adults and older children rather than my peers. It was something the preschool teachers really worked with me on, but it was also likely influenced by the fact that I was an only child to a single mom who brought me with her to all her social things where I was generally the only child present (restaurants, the theater, etc).

    My family likes to tell a story that the preschool teachers told my mom that I was doing great reading and she was blown away because she didn't think I could read, at all. I had been hiding it at home because I thought my parents and grandparents would quit reading to me when they found out I could read myself (totally unfounded fear).

    I don't know exactly what the testing was that I did in Kindergarden to qualify for my AP program in 1st grade. Mom says that it was all verbal (no written) and based around play but she didn't know specifics because she wasn't allowed to be in the room. She asked me about it right after the testing and all I remembered was that they asked me to think of all the things that I could think to do with an empy Coke can.

    I didn't really think of myself as unusual in elememtary school, because I was surrounded by kids in the same program. Middle school was really an eye opening experience, for me, and helped me learn that things don't always come so easily to others, which has helped now that I teach grad students as part of my job.

  7. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5257 posts

    He started rolling over pretty early, does that count? My husband and I met in high school -- we went to a magnet school that you have to apply to, similar to a college application (there's a test, recommendations, you have to submit a "resume" listing extracurriculars, etc.) I think it worked well for high school. I don't know whether I would consider myself gifted, but I certainly benefited from being in classes and talking with students who were extremely gifted. That being said, I don't know that I would want to be testing my son for any "giftedness" at an earlier age than that. And I'm not really sure how I feel about separating gifted kids out in general...on the one hand, it's important that particularly smart kids feel challenged. On the other, I think being around people smarter than you is motivational and educational, and gifted-only programs obviously take those kids out of the typical classroom.

  8. 808love

    pomelo / 5866 posts

    My first clue was an aunt didn't believe I could read at age 4, thought I was memorizing it and gave me a newspaper which I read for her to her surprise. In elementary, I thought everyone was getting 100% on everything like me in school so I had no idea I was different until I was tested upon entry/placement at a new school. I just knew the moment something was 'wrong' in a test, the teacher said something off or a book was not edited correctly. And it would bother me for a moment or two. I noticed every single incongruency or wanted to learn every single new word or idea that I've heard at the time I was exposed to it. It was totally intrinsic. Due to my introversion and other environmental situations, I also hid in middle school and purposely scored down on my placement test to put in the same 'easy' classes with my low performing friends/relatives. Because of that, low income family, no enrichment or activities and moving around A TON in upper grades, I didn't have the benefit of a gifted education for most of my years. Somehow I found/attracted the right crowd and outlets in college which was completely a new world for me, so I turned out ok! Because of my experiences, I recognize the advantage of a specialized gifted education to engage kids with these abilities and value what a gifted peer group/community offers in developmental years.

    Also wanted to add that just because a child is in a gifted program, there are many other social groups -family, peer, sports and other outside activities that a gifted child will interact with and won't be in a bubble. Just educated differently.

  9. sandy

    cantaloupe / 6687 posts

    @Mamaof2: that chart is great at showing how gifted children think differently! It's not simply advanced abilities that make a child gifted although many gifted kids will display advanced abilities like reading early at an advanced level or being able to grasp math concepts early on.

    My DD1 goes to a gifted school and had to complete testing by a qualified child psychologist. She's very normal but at the same time you can tell she operates/thinks so differently than other kids and she's been that way since she was very little (as early as 18 months). DH is also gifted and so he can relate to her very much in terms of how public school just would not work for her - she would just be bored especially bc we do not live in a great school district.

    Like a PP said, it's a lot of work having a gifted kid and also very expensive. I know friends with a gifted first child and they almost wish their second won't be gifted bc of the work/expense that it can entail

  10. Iced Tea

    persimmon / 1310 posts

    I was also labeled gifted at an early age. In my case, the gifted program (just an occasional pull-out program in the years it was available at all in our poor district), was kind of a joke. I will say that it gave me a confidence boost at first, but later became a source of anxiety as I feared testing poorly and losing the label. I suffer(ed) from an anxiety disorder, however, so maybe that wouldn't worry most kids.

    I did attend a state-run summer program in high school that was aimed at gifted kids, though it wasn't labeled as such. It required a long application, essays, and recommendations to gain a spot. Now THAT was a really good program and I'm so glad I did it. But I actually could have done it without ever having been tested and labeled.

    I think overall, I wouldn't test my young child unless I felt confident that the difference in program options would be worth the labeling.

  11. caitlanc

    cherry / 156 posts

    LO1 is bright and maybe a little ahead of the curve as far as reading and math go compared to his peers but I wouldn't say he's gifted. (He turned 4 in November.) I think he will probably take after me. I was reading at the 5th grade level in 1st grade and in the G&T program in elementary school. I was above average through high school and while I'm smart enough, I didn't exceed my expectations and so wouldn't classify myself as that now.

    As far as seeking out G&T programs, I wouldn't be inclined to do so as long as LO is being sufficiently challenged in the main classroom. For me, the G&T program was fine but what really impacted me were my amazing teachers in grades 1, 3 and 5. They are the ones that truly made a difference.


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