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Here's how I tackle this, I give my mom one specific item that I need and send her on a mission. This month it is 24 month pants. Last month was pouches. She feels like she's helping (because she is) and doesn't feel the need to buy a ton of crap.
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My parents and ILs can be guilty of this as well. I got my mom to stop buying crap by engaging her in my obsessive research for the "perfect thing"... she will spend a bunch of time on Pinterest looking at dollhouses or something of that nature after we have talked about what features/size/budget I am looking for. That way she can still "shop" without actually buying anything and she finds it to be fun.... And occasionally she refers to me as a "fun-sucking Grinch". But that's fine with me!
My MIL doesn't take to this well. After many, many, many reminders about how we live in a small space and we don't want our children to be overwhelmed with things at Christmas, she got around our rules by buying them both a huge bag of gifts (each one got an outfit, stuffed animal, book, movie, and a couple trinkets) for THANKSGIVING.
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@catlady: haha! This is what I started doing too. My mil likes to bring LO knock knacks from consignment stores and it kills me. And she knows it. So one day when she was giving DD yet another chipped porcelain puppy, she said (knowing full well I could hear her) "and your mom knows how to use the garbage if she needs to"
I totally appreciate that she understands how totally opposite we are on these things and has a sense of humour about it. So now I don't feel so bad about re-donating the knick knacks or a t-shirt I don't love
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