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Grieving my baby cousin...how to honor her?

  1. SugarplumsMom

    bananas / 9227 posts

    I am so sorry for your loss

  2. nana87

    cantaloupe / 6171 posts

    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss!

    I love others' ideas about a photo album and garden/tree. I think that even just telling stories about her will help keep her memory alive

  3. mamimami

    grapefruit / 4120 posts

    My condolences I love @mrbee's idea and @medianaranja's idea. I think you will find when your kids are close to three they will be able to grasp the notion that you have a loved one who's no longer with you. So if you work on those ideas it will probably get much easier to communicate with them before long.

  4. Ash

    honeydew / 7909 posts

    great advice has already been given. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and your family. So sorry for your loss!

  5. Mrs squirreld

    nectarine / 2522 posts

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  6. cmomma17

    honeydew / 7811 posts

    I don't have any advice, I'm just deeply sorry for your tragic loss. I hope you are able to heal and find peace!

  7. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5257 posts

    @twoofeverything: I hear you on just wishing they would "get" it. Especially after something so traumatic, it's hard not to think "even a tragedy so close to home can't change your mind?" I hope people surprise you in this situation and understand it's better to keep any controversial comments to themselves, at least for a respectful period. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Your kids will see the love you two had for each other every time you talk about her.

  8. Mrs. Tiger

    blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts

    So sorry for your loss. What a terrible waste.

    I like the pp's ideas. If you have videos of her you may want to compile them together, perhaps you and your boys can watch her "highlights reel" together at special times.

    Not the same, but I had a coworker who's MIL drowned while they were at the beach, and he struggled with PTSD, and benefitted a lot from therapy. Perhaps you could look into that as well, for your anxiety.

  9. Synchronicity

    grapefruit / 4089 posts

    I don't have any advice to add but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. What a nightmare for your family. You'll be in my thoughts.

  10. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so sad and tragic how she died. i dont have any advice for you. Thinking of you.

  11. Ree723

    grapefruit / 4819 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no advice or words of wisdom, but I just wanted to express how truly sorry I am - she sounds like she was a wonderful person and will be terribly missed. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

  12. BananaPancakes

    grapefruit / 4817 posts

    I am just so terribly sorry for you and your family's loss. I'm glad to hear you're trying to take care of yourself, and I can see how hard it must be to push through the fear for your own children's future. No advice, but I hope you find peace soon. Veronika seemed like a lovely girl.

  13. Mrs.Someone

    pomelo / 5228 posts

    So sorry for your devastating loss. I can't even imagine losing a cousin that way I have no advice for you, but it sounds like you are already taking some great steps.

  14. Anya

    nectarine / 2784 posts

    I am so sorry for your loss. I think @MediaNaranja: came up with a beautiful tribute

  15. MamaMoose

    GOLD / squash / 13464 posts

    I have no advice but wanted to send love and prayers your way. What a terrible loss of a young promising life.

  16. leelee

    persimmon / 1194 posts

    No advice but so sorry for your loss. I am a ucsb alumni and resident of Westlake Village. I was absolutely horrified when I heard what happen. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

  17. Fronkinzankinsbride

    kiwi / 550 posts

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can't being to imagine how you are feeling.

    As a way of honoring her you can start a tradition or carry on a tradition that you and your cousin had. For example when one of my friends in high school passed away a week after her birthday, the four of us girls that had taken her to birthday dinner continued to go to the same restaurant and make a big celebration out of her birthday. It was something special to the four of us that we've continued for more than 10 years. It helps us feel like the memory of her will never be lost.

    If you could include your kids in some thing you and your little cousin did regularly and make it a yearly or monthly tradition in honor of her I think it could be a great way to gift the memory of her to your kids.

    Sending hugs to you and your family.

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