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I am so sorry for your loss

My condolences I love @mrbee's idea and @medianaranja's idea. I think you will find when your kids are close to three they will be able to grasp the notion that you have a loved one who's no longer with you. So if you work on those ideas it will probably get much easier to communicate with them before long.

I am so sorry for your loss.

@twoofeverything: I hear you on just wishing they would "get" it. Especially after something so traumatic, it's hard not to think "even a tragedy so close to home can't change your mind?" I hope people surprise you in this situation and understand it's better to keep any controversial comments to themselves, at least for a respectful period. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Your kids will see the love you two had for each other every time you talk about her.

I don't have any advice to add but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. What a nightmare for your family. You'll be in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no advice or words of wisdom, but I just wanted to express how truly sorry I am - she sounds like she was a wonderful person and will be terribly missed. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

So sorry for your devastating loss. I can't even imagine losing a cousin that way I have no advice for you, but it sounds like you are already taking some great steps.

I have no advice but wanted to send love and prayers your way. What a terrible loss of a young promising life.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't being to imagine how you are feeling.

As a way of honoring her you can start a tradition or carry on a tradition that you and your cousin had. For example when one of my friends in high school passed away a week after her birthday, the four of us girls that had taken her to birthday dinner continued to go to the same restaurant and make a big celebration out of her birthday. It was something special to the four of us that we've continued for more than 10 years. It helps us feel like the memory of her will never be lost.

If you could include your kids in some thing you and your little cousin did regularly and make it a yearly or monthly tradition in honor of her I think it could be a great way to gift the memory of her to your kids.

Sending hugs to you and your family.