Just for fun. I’m spinning this question from my other post today.
I just wonder how many of you have guy friends and if you suspect them of liking you. I personally don’t think any of my guy friends like me but that might be because I don’t think of them that way? Maybe I’m being naive.
Thus I’m super curious what other people think of their guy friends.
93 votes
eggplant / 11824 posts
Some of my best friends (and my longest - since preschool!) are guys. I'm sure they don't have feelings for me, nor I for them.
It always makes me sad when people think men and women can't be friends 
so odd
grapefruit / 4731 posts
@yoursilverlining: That’s so sweet from pre-school! 
I have been thinking about this today. I remember reading once that there is a reason why they say girls and guys can’t be friends is because there was a reason why you two were drawn to each other … usually romantically. They say somehow the romantic didn’t work out so it fizzed into friendship. Which thus makes those friendship dangerous.
I don’t know if I believe that. I feel a lot of my guy friendships… I felt drawn to them in a sibling caring way like they are brothers aka like family.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
my best guy friend is gay, so i don't suspect it all 
In the past, i have had some guy friends that have told me their feelings. And other times I have liked guy friends of mine that didn't return my feelings. Eventually all those friendships fizzled out. I would say my only other current guy friend is a former colleague of mine that i still keep in touch with. We really clicked and i could see in another life time we may both have liked each other as more than friends (or i know i would like him), but we also bond over our similar professions and married life with young toddlers. So we also just have a lot in common and i think that's why we hit it off so well as friends now.
DH started out as a guy friend (i was in a long term relationship with someone else when we met) and he liked me and i couldn't tell at first. Apparently all our friends could though....and well now we are married with our second kid on the way, so i guess it was not totally platonic 
grapefruit / 4731 posts
@californiadreams: What an interesting history! That was a good read. Thanks for sharing.
I think I personally would be too nervous being friends with a guy I actually liked!! Maybe that’s why I have no guy friends I would date. Also why I think none of them would want to date me. Haha.
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
I have a few really close guy friends. One of my closest and oldest friends is a guy. We both have had feelings for each other at various points in our relationship, but ended up married to other people. We did have a long talk about how it is kind of sad that we will never know what could have happened, but the timing was always wrong and we are both very happy now.
nectarine / 2210 posts
I don't really have gut friends, but I do think it's possible to have platonic girl/guy friendships.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
@Silva: i have a guy friend like that too, it is one of the friendships of mine that have fizzled out. Although i think that one fizzled when i moved to a different city/province and was also quite serious with DH by then. But we had been friends for a decade at least.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
@Silva: Very interesting. It's sounds like a movie.
@Miss Ariel: I added another option of "No. But I think girls and guys can be just friends" Sorry you can't vote for that... if you already voted. 
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
@Raindrop: yeah, I think it would probably have a different ending if it was a movie! But I could probably come up with a good soundtrack
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Pretty much all of my guy friends have at various times admitted to me that if I felt like dating they would be into it. Or less carefully-worded versions of that. They've all gotten over it (and some of them are married now) and we remained friends. I've been with my husband close to a decade so it's all ancient history.
pomelo / 5573 posts
One of my very close friends is a guy. I had a bit of a crush on him way back when (I was 18) but I don't think he felt anything for me and I've long since grown out of it.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
I have a ton of guy friends (more than female friends actually) from college. There may have been one or two who had a crush on me at some point (there was definitely one that I had a crush on back then) but we are pretty much all happily married now and I love all their wives, so now it's more like I have "couple friends" than guy friends, I guess!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I have several guy friends, the ones I'm closest too are ones I've known since elementary school or high school. Never had any romantic feelings toward them (or them for me) and my husband is comfortable with our relationship. They were all my college roommates (3 of them.) Me and a couple friends recently just stayed with one when going for a concert, he was our driver and made us breakfast the next morning!
nectarine / 2521 posts
I have a good guy friend from college that I still spend time with, and he actually wound up being my husband's roommate while were dating! If he's in town, we hang out, but I have never gotten an inkling of a feeling that he's interested in anything more than friendship.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
@PawPrints: Haha. You must be very likable! I'm glad you were able to stay friends with them. I'm not sure how I would feel if any of my guy friends said that to me.
@erinbaderin: That was a long time ago. I'm glad you were able to stay friends.
@catlady: That's great! Couple friends are always great to have! I would say half of my guy friends are like this... and half are still single! I'm not sure why they are still single but they seem to like it like that. I also seem to have more guy friends than girl friends. But with their wives it's more even now. Haha.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
@LuLu Mom: Wow that's nice!! Hehe.
@Tanjowen: Very cool. I have a few out of town guy friends that hang out with us when they are in town. It's always very nice when they visit.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
Some of my closest friends are guys. One of them actually introduced me and D...they've known each other since junior high (I met him a year before I met D). He played the processional at our wedding, and D was a groomsman in his. I love him like a brother.
I have had guy friends that had more of a romantic tilt, on whichever side, but those haven't really been lasting friendships.
pomelo / 5257 posts
I have one very close guy friend, but definitely no romantic feelings there. He's actually my husband's BFF and my H and I have been together forever (since high school) so this guy is like a brother to me! I also think it's kind of sad when people think men and women can't be friends.... Regarding your situation, which I just read, I really would guess your friend's wife has some kind of problem with your relationship. Which is a sucky situation to be in for sure
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Some of my best friends are guys, like brothers to me. I think one might've had feelings and I'm sure I did too back in the day but we're both completely platonic and have been forever!
pear / 1770 posts
Two of my best friends are guys, but they're gay. I ended up hooking up with pretty much every straight dude I was ever friends with, and as a result I've become more distant from them after getting married.
nectarine / 2466 posts
2 of my closest friends are guys. I've been friends with one for.. about 17 years and the other for about 15 years ( I suddenly feel very aged haha) I know at points, both have had feelings for me ( way back in the beginning.) Technically, one of them and I 'dated' briefly in like gr 9. However, now, there's no feelings like that ( well.. I don't think there is haha.) That same guy was actually in my wedding party. I consider them both pratically family.
nectarine / 2932 posts
My closest friend from growing up is a guy. I've never had any romantic feelings for him. I'm pretty sure he hasn't either, but I've never asked.
I think it's totally possible to have a strictly platonic friendship.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
@Raindrop: Personally I doubt it has anything to do with me, more that I have had brutally honest relationships with my guy friends. I think we women tend to be a smidgen gullible when it comes to platonic friendships, and that the vast majority of guys enter into friendships with at least a glimmer of hope that it will someday evolve into romance. But I don't think that means the friendships can't exist.
pomelo / 5607 posts
I have plenty of guy friends that I don't think "like" me. I think some are jealous that DH found a decent looking woman who likes to play D&D, but they're not attracted to me specifically.
I was raised to think men and women can't be friends though. One time when DH was living in another state (right before we got married) one of his close friends wanted to come visit and crash on his couch. My mom was absolutely horrified that he'd even consider it, and that I was okay with it. They grew up together from infancy, and he has about as much chance of being sexually attracted to her as he does his twin sister, but she couldn't believe a man and a woman could be alone in a studio apartment safely.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I had a lot of guy friends in college, but there was always...tension. My very best friend is a guy, but he's gay, so no worries about mixed signals there! We do joke about how we are each others one and only though, but it's all in good fun.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I don't think my guy friends secretly had feelings for me. Could they have appreciated that I was a cute girl or liked the attention they received from other people (guys or girls) when out with me sure. But, they weren't secretly pining for me. I will say that I don't think it would have taken much nudging on my part for a guy friend to agree to crossing the line. Thankfully, my guy friends were respectful and happy with just being friends. It was weird once when one guy commented on a photo we took- group picture that. I ended up distancing myself for a little while and he brought it up that he noticed the cause and effect.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I've always had a lot of guy friends. At some point most of the ones I was really close with either said something about feelings to me or I had feelings for them. The thing is, if you are close enough to be really good friends, and that other person is attractive, isn't that what we look for in a relationship? So it makes sense. I've maintained several of those friendships because we moved past that, but there has been that tension at some point. And some guys couldn't move past it and cut me out of their lives. I lost a great friend that way, and it was really hurtful
pomegranate / 3127 posts
I voted "no guy friends" because I've lost most of my friends (time, distance, kids, whatever...), but I did have guy friends once. I'm certain a few of them had feelings for me, and equally certain the rest didn't.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
A majority of my friends are guys, but that's because I'm a major tomboy. None of them like me as we're all paired off. And for those that aren't, nope!
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
I def have guy friends, some of whom are very close, who I have zero question about being completely, totally platonic. But most of them are friends who haven't been in my life as long as dh (I met dh 2 weeks after I graduated from a women's college so I barely knew any guys then and I moved away ffrom my hometown after high school so don't have many hometown friends that I'm still close to, unless they were my brother's friends who are like my other brothers). So, all of our friendships formed with dh very clearly in the circle too, and he's friends with them as well. Or, they were originally his friends who are now my close friends. Like, his bff was just asking me for relationship advice the other day
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