Hellobee Boards

I can see both sides to this. She took your assent to mean that you’d appreciate ANY item her son has outgrown/doesn’t want/doesn’t need. She probably thought she was doing you a favor because you expressed interest in the initial offer. She definitely should have made her intent clearer, and given you an easy “out” to decline the extras, but in the end, it’s just a miscommunication.

I would not say anything to her about it. You agreed to it by not openly declining when she showed up with the items (you could have said, “Oh, actually, we are purging a lot of our toys and bedding ourselves, I don’t think we have room for more!”).

But once someone gives you something, it’s yours. You could paint the toys, set the bedding on fire, etc and there’s nothing wrong with that because they now belong to you. So I’d just shrug and chalk it up to the extra stuff being the “price” for the clothes you can use. I’d just donate everything else, even if it’s inconvenient.

The bedding doesn’t freak me out. Then again, I’ve bought used cloth diapers before and I’m a big believer in the power of the washing machine.

I completely empathize with you, though. Social interactions are so awkward with stuff like this.

We also have several buy nothing/neighbourhood groups on FB that people post big boxes of random stuff saying take what you want and pass it along if you wanted to see if you can find a home for it. I agree it’s now yours to deal with unfortunately.

As long as you know she does not want anything back to hand down to someone else once your son outgrows it then I would just sell it or give it away. Next time, I’d go over the items with her while she’s there and send her back with the items you don’t want.

I can see both sides too. She prob thought you could use them and didn’t do it out of any bad intentions. Some people’s standards are different. I get stuff all the time from random ppl and I donate it if it’s too dirty/stained/frayed/worn out. I also get shocked or appalled and the dirtiness/work outness of the clothes. And I also toss and donate it if the clothes is not my style.

Just donate it quietly to avoid awkward interactions. Sheets especially can be used at your local animal humane societies or animal shelters . They are always looking for towels and sheets for the animals.

@Mama Bird: to me it sounds like she was trying to be nice. I think telling her you dont need some of it isn't really necessary. But next time if she offers to hand down more things you can just say no. I dont think she thinks of her son's old things as junk