Hellobee Boards

I think at her age it's more just a point of difference rather than anything else, although it makes me sad to hear about your friend's child. My sister is intellectually disabled and had a mental capacity of around a three year old when my sister started dating a Maori guy. We're pretty much as pale as they come and so there was a lot of "T is brown and I am white" conversation going on, but nothing racially charged behind it. As long as you are having those discussions that people come in all shapes, sizes, colours, etc, I think she'll grow up with a really sensible attitude.

@Mrs. Jacks: Hahahah! At least we know some liberal city folk nearby. I RSVP'ed for this event before I read down a little farther to see that their next "Dad's Day Out" event is at a shooting range. I don't think we'll last very long, lol.

@Mrs. Jacks: that would be great! Feel free to give her my email!

Charlie started bringing it up when he was a little over two. He referred to skin color as "orange" or "brown." It really surprised me the first time he brought it up!

That's sad about your friend's daughter.

I don't have a LO but I think it is very normal. I am biracial, and my mom said I noticed it and talked about it from a very early age - probably Lala's age. I used to ask how I got to be the color I am, and she used the analogy of coffee - Daddy was the coffee, Mommy was the cream, and put them together, and that's why I look the way I do!

@Mrs. Jacks: What stands out for me from my childhood were questions about why I looked different from my mom. Especially since my mom divorced and remarried a white guy when I was 7, both children and adults were always asking "where I was from" or if I was adopted. I'm sure there were questions or comments about my skin color not in that context, but those pointing at my identity or whether I "belonged" to my family were the most hurtful and are the ones that stand out the most.

That said, I think it really was helpful that I always felt loved, special and beautiful. My family made it very clear that they thought my unique looks were beautiful so if anything I liked looking different. In some ways, I think it was a little harder for my brother, because his looks were not as "exoticized" as mine. Now that he is a young adult, he is mistaken for a non-English speaking blue collar worker on a frequent basis...

LO is almost 22 months, and has never explicitly remarked on skin color, though if we're out and he can kind of see a kid around his age, he'll ask if its one of his daycare friends, and if it's a kid with red hair, he'll always ask if it's James (who also has red hair) and if it's an African American girl, he'll always ask if it's Lilah (who is also African American).
DH and I haven't really thought about deliberately starting conversations with LO about diversity, but I'm starting to think that we should- I like the idea of using books as a conversation starter (@Mrs. Cowgirl: I'll check out the ones you mentioned!). We live in DC (a big city) and our daycare is pretty diverse, so I guess we've never worried about LO not realizing that people don't all have the same skin color, but I think we kind of defaulted into thinking that we'd just wait for LO to start asking questions or making comments. Now I'm thinking we should be more proactive about it.

I grew up in an area in my City (in the UK) that that had mostly Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Indian families living there. There were only a handful of white children in my class and I was one of them. They used to wear such beautiful clothes and came to school wearing scarves and bangles and mendhi patterns on their hands. I wanted to dress like them so badly and used to beg my mum to let me wear pretty clothes but she refused, sending me to school in jeans and sweashirts! I only got to dress like my friends when we did Indian dance performances (I loved the dancing!!).

Anyway the point of this back story is this - I used to day-dream that we'd find out that I'd been swapped at the hospital and I wasn't really their child. My parents were really Indian!! I knew it!!! In the day-dream, I'd get swapped back! Honestly, I don't think it occurred to me for one second that I was ice-white with red hair and blue eyes and they all had brown skin! It was like I just didn't see it!!

I mean - look!! Swapped at birth???

@Cherrybee: Haha love it! where in UK did you grow up?

@Cherrybee: Oh cool I have friends from there, but never been that far norht. the furthest north I've been is bedford & gloucester