LO is not a very good sleeper, 4.5 months old and still wakes up every 2-3 hours. I always have to soothe him back to sleep by rocking or feeding. He doesn't know how to self soothe, I try to put him in crib awake or let him fuss a little but never let it get to a full cry, and it never works. EVERYONE keeps telling me I need to let him cry it out, but I just can't make myself do that. I wouldn't want to do be left alone screaming with no one to comfort me. And If I do resort to this I'm mostly afraid that it won't even work. Have you had success with CIO or are you completely against it? Opinions please!
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I don't know if I can do it. I cave pretty fast!
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Did it with Charlie and it was life changing. One of the best thing we ever did. I am definitely pro cio. That said , I did nap train olive, but she never cried.
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We started letting the oldest CIO and 12months. We will stick to the same plan I assume for Jax.
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@Mrs. Bee: what age did you let Charlie CIO? is 4.5 months too young?
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@autumnlove: I cave fast too, real fast!!
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@mrsaudi: we did it at 4.5 months. I think he was ready.a little earlier than that though! His sleep was baaaaaaaad. Post sleep training it became great!
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@mrsaudi: LO started sleeping through the night at eight weeks and she is now 8 months. I don't think we will get as lucky for LO #2...I am going to read the Ferber book to learn more about CIO!
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@Mrs. Bee: well that gives me a little hope, i just have to work up the courage to actually try it =/
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@autumnlove: wow you got lucky! I hear of a lot of people's 2nd baby is easier in terms of sleeping. hope its not the opposite for you
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Not a chance, for us. I don't believe in it, but I respect other parents choice to choose. I think it's a very personal choice.
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I would, if bad sleep is making the baby miserable when he or she is awake. My sister did it with her son and I could see the difference right away, even though it's really awful to listen to the cries. You wouldn't be doing it for you, you would be doing it for the baby so they can learn to sleep well and aren't exhausted all day.
That said, I dont have my own yet so who knows what I'll be saying when faced with this. I'm mostly just hoping my kids take after DH, who is too good of a sleeper. -
We did with DS. He was such a horrendous little sleeper! It was hard but worth it. DD won't have to since she loves to sleep (well hopefully it won't change since CIO is so heartbreaking).
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We didn't do it with a really tough sleeper. It just wouldn't have worked for us. She's 2 and a better sleeper than she's ever been all without CIO.
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I just couldn't find myself able to do it while my babies were less than a year old. I couldn't bear the cries, and the times I tried to, they would just reach a point of no return where they were all worked up and very inconsolable. It just didn't work for us and I suspect it's not the perfect answer to every baby's sleep problems. But to the parents who used it and it worked, awesome!
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We did with our first at 6.5 months. It was getting to a point where he was so tired from lack of sleep that he was crying even in our arms. We only needed to nap train our second LO and from there, she was able to fall asleep on her own for all other naps and bedtime.
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@mrsaudi: I was like you.. when I was pg I swore up and down I would never let my baby cry.. when he was younger I would listen to his cry when he was hungry or whatnot and it broke my heart, no way would I do CIO! That all changed when he had a major sleep regression lasting 2 months. It was awful. I was depressed, stressed and unhappy. Especially with a husband that works nights, I was all alone dealing with bedtime and I was at my breaking point. Something had to be done.
I started sleep training the week before he turned 6 months and I wouldn't have done it any earlier. And for us, it was the only thing that worked for him. We had tried everything before and finally CIO cured his sleep issues. We still have a few minor bumps here and there but the amazing thing is that he's learned to fall asleep on his own. He now sleeps nice long stretches, usually 8 hours and has pulled two 11.5 hours!
It's sooo great. And it worked great for us.
However, it is NOT for every parent, nor is it for every baby. Some babies are very sensitive and have a spirit that would be crushed by CIO, I think. Some babies won't ever respond to CIO and would just get mad. It depends on you and what you feel is best for you and your baby.
If you choose to do it you have to allow yourself to not feel guilty.
Write on my wall if you want to talk about it some more, I just went through this!
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@Mrs. Jacks: do you have any good non CIO sleep tips? Not wanting to do CIO but my LO's sleep has regressed dramatically and im curious how to handle it.
Sorry to thread jack!
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M is 4 months as well and her sleep has been horrendous. If she wakes 2-3x that's a good night in my book! I have never let her CIO in the middle of the night. But have once or twice while getting her to sleep bc of desperation. it does not work for her. I don't think it's the right method for every baby or parent.
I'm not entirely sure if we will sleep train but I do plan on ordering "the no cry sleep method" soon and reading it. -
We let him CIO to fall asleep starting around 1 month -- he's always been a relatively good sleeper, though. he learned quickly and is a happppyyyy baby:). From reading hb I have noticed it is not the norm to start early, but pretty much everyone I know (parents with teens/kids/babies from ages 14-0) did/does?
anyway, we are happy to go this route but I respect people's choices!
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We had to sleep train 3 times before it stuck. The third time, at 10 months worked.
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I would do it if I felt like my child would respond well to the method i.e. not leave them crying for hours on end like I hear some of my friends doing. I think there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Sleep is very important to the development of their brains. If CIO does the trick, I would absolutely do it versus having a sleep deprived baby. Sleep deprivation would worry me very much.
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I honestly don't know. We didn't do it with LO and her sleep got better naturally. She always had good night time sleep but her nap time sleep was awful as a baby. She would always have to be moving so I would have to have her in the stroller pushing her, in the car seat, in the swing, etc. It was exhausting for me! But DH really was against CIO and I understood why (even though I was the one doing all the work at home getting LO to nap every day......) so I just kept at it and then finally at 8 months we set her in her crib for a nap and she went to sleep!
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At 4 months we did a version of cio. We'd let him cry for 5 min, then go up and soothe him back to sleep. Next time he woke we'd wait 10 mins, then soothe him back to sleep. Then 15 mins, and each time after that was 15 mins. Listening to him cry was the most traumatic and heartbreaking thing, but it definitely helped to have a minute by minute countdown. We only had to let him cry for 15 mins once. He was sleep trained in a week or two.
Some tips... When soothing him back to sleep, try not to pick him up, if he'll go back down while lying in the crib that's best. We let him suck the paci and then he ditched that for his fingers, and we introduced a lovey early. Don't watch an analog clock, get a digital one. Turn off the monitor because amplifying the cries definitely does not help.
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I always said I wouldn't do CIO, and I feel very lucky that I haven't had to (so far) with my kids. It's hard to make generalized comments about CIO, though, because every baby and every family is different. What works for some doesn't work others.
We didn't do CIO with DD, believeing that she would sleep better on her own when she was developmentally ready. She was a year old before she started putting herself to sleep and sleeping through the night. We had a lot of tough nights in there, but I'm glad we didn't do CIO with her because I just don't think she would have responded to it well.
We haven't done CIO with DS, but he was developmentally ready at an earlier age to put himself to sleep. He started at about 4 months when we swaddle weaned. He's not sleeping through the night yet (at 5 months), but he is down to one night waking, so I figure he'll figure it out in his own time. I think CIO would be more successful with him, but we'd rather wait and see what he does on his own before trying it.
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I have been lucky in that my LO only wakes once per night and has been that way since about 9 or 10 weeks. I will let her cry it out both at night and for naps, but never for more than 5 minutes. And to be fair, there is a difference between the crabby/tired cry and all out screaming. I would not (at 14 weeks) let her get to that level of being worked up.
I think everyone has to do what's best for them and their family. But for me, I don't think I could wait as long as others have to get my baby sleeping better. If you can handle it, more power to you! We all know our limitations, so don't let anyone bully you into making a parenting choice that isn't right for you.
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This was one thing that I changed my mind about after having my daughter. I used to be pro CIO but really couldnt find myself able to just let her cry on and on Especially since she's not a baby that cried a lot. I felt like if and when she cried it was for something that was really not making her happy. Maybe life would have been easier had we stuck with CIO methods but I feel good about our decisions to not use them. It just didn't work for us but Im still not against it , parents do what they feel is right for their family.
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I just did for nap. 20 minutes. Not crying like a maniac, just protest crying.
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I don't plan on it, but I don't judge those who do...as long as they read up on it and do it with purpose as opposed to some friends I have who have just decided one day to not respond and let their babies scream and cry for extended periods of time.
eta One of the few books I looked at so far in my pregnancy was specifically about sleep and the reasons for varying sleep patterns, etc. I learned that there are good reasons for a baby who may have slept through the night previously to stop, and eventually go back to it. So hopefully I will have the patience to continue reading and respond as necessary...
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absolutely. the nanny-mom I work for did it with both her kids and it made a WORLD of difference. we will absolutely be using CIO if needed!
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apparently it was the only thing that got me to sleep! Except my mom never called it CIO. I just picked up on it over time that that's what she did! And it worked. Works for some babies...sometimes your initial parenting philosophy has to be tweaked and you have to be flexible. And if it doesn't work, you can move onto something else. obviously it's a popular process because it's effective for a lot of folks
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I did it with LO when she was 3.5 months (a little young for many people but I made an informed decision) and after 3-4 days, we were set!
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We did it quite early and it was magic! She started sleeping through the night from about 6 weeks and it took probably two nights. I personally believe that giving your LO the ability to self settle is a great gift.
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i will try other methods first but if those dont work then i would consider doing cio. im very open to a lot of differnet parenting choices and think we all just have to do whats best for our Lo's,
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right now, i'm in between cio and no cry method. not picking them up and all but letting them cry for a bit but soothing them after. we'll see how that works because the no cry method was taking too long. and i don't want to do a full cio - i don't want my kids to feel like i abandoned them... they are now 5 months old. i just started, so i'll give it a week. and if they don't improve, in a month, i'll probably try the full cio.
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