My 12 month old has always been a terrible sleeper but she goes threw phases that last a few weeks where she turns into a HORRIBLE sleeper. On a normal night she wakes 4-7 times to nurse and will usually fall back asleep quickly which is obviously not ideal but manageable. On a Horrible night she wakes up every 45 minutes or so and will not go back to sleep. The last 3 nights have been horrible nights. Last night she went to bed at 8pm woke up at 9pm, 10:05pm, 11:45 pm and then was awake until 4:30am, woke up again at 5:15am and then for the day at 6:45am. I am seriously exhausted and don't know how much more I can take. My husband is being less then supportive in understanding how freaking sleep deprived I am. He has been sleeping in our living room from almost day 1 because he thinks we all sleep better if he is not in the room with DD and I. We are semi attachment parenting and do not believe in CIO. Last night I was so fed up with DD's wakings and not wanting to go back to sleep that I made her lay next to me and cuddle but I refused to nurse her as she had already nursed SO many times. She of course was really mad and crying. I just held her and tried calming her without nursing. After a few minutes DH comes in trying to "save" her. He snatched her up and started rocking her saying it's ok if I could I would nurse you. I wanted to flip out but just took her back and gave into her nursing and he went back to the living room to sleep. I am so fed up and he is acting like I am a bad mom when she cries. Because of how sleep deprived I am, I am loosing my patience way to easily today and I am not being the mom I want to be. I am so on edge and about to have a break down. I have tried just about every no cry solution and nothing is working.
You might also enjoy...
-
I hear you! I was in that position. When I got pregnant, I figured the hardest thing for me would be night wakings and lack of sleep because that's my trigger. I'm cranky when I'm tired. I can go all day without food and be fine, but without sleep I'm a mess.
I really didn't want to do CIO, and tried a bunch of things, but her sleep kept getting worse, and eventually did CIO and it worked within 4 days. I'm much more patient with LO and DH when she does wake up at night, and am much more present during the day because I'm not exhausted. It came to the point where none of us were getting enough sleep. I've noticed a real change in her development since she's started sleeping better - she's learned all sorts of new things! (Could be coincidence, could be the sleep - hard to say)
I'm not saying CIO is right for you, just saying it's what worked best for us. Hope you can find a no-cry solution that lets you get some rest!!
-
Are you guys co sleeping? If not, is that something that could work for you?
-
@tinyperson: I definitely agree that the broken sleep affects LOs as well--that was the point where I too decided we needed to sleep train. We used Ferber's method and it worked quickly. Lo was clearly tired during the day and it was affecting his mood and making him cranky and unhappy!
-
@hilsy85: in our case she wasn't cranky (we lucked out with a really happy baby) but I knew she wasn't getting enough sleep and it it made me feel terrible! I had to do something!
-
@hilsy85: We do co sleep but we have also tried her crib. Cosleeping is the only way I get any sleep.
-
@tinyperson: I would consider CIO but DH would never go for it
-
@CraftyMom13: yeah, DH wasn't thrilled to let her cry either and it was a really hard decision.
-
i'm so sorry you are going through this, and also sorry that dh is not more supportive
sleep deprivation is no joke and really quite terrible i hope that someone can suggest something that will work for you and your family :)! we personally are a CIO family and it works great for us, but i do believe you have to really believe in/support the method you choose to use, or else you'll not feel good about it :). hope things take a turn for the better soon!!! 
-
@CraftyMom13: that wouldn't fly in my house--if I was the one doing all the night wakings, DH wouldn't have the right to tell me to do/not do something that could help me get more sleep. If he's not on board with CIO, then he should to get up at night and help soothe her the times that you don't nurse her! I personally wouldn't phrase it as a request--I would say, "I need more help, if you can't/don't help me at night, then I am going to try out other options because this is unsustainable for me."
-
In your situation, I would probably tell DH that if he doesn't want CIO, then he needs to cosleep with her and soothe her through the nightwakings. That amount of slepp deprivation isn't healthy for you or the baby. Maybe you could show him the sleep charts floating around the internet that tell you how much sleep a baby needss each night so that he understands how detrimental lack of sleep can be for everyone.
-
@hilsy85: @plantains: +1
-
@plantains: this
-
I agree with @Hilsy85. That was pretty much the approach I took with my DH. I recognize I have control issues and am the light sleeper. I told him I would do he work of getting her to sleep, but to please let me try some other methods. I came up with my own mix of methods and it worked for us. I did let her cry but it was only for 5 minutes at a time. I think one time I let her cry up to 10 minutes.
My daughter is older (two), but now she spends anywhere from 5-45 minutes "playing" in bed before she falls asleep. If she cries at all it's just until we close her door and she realizes that we mean sleep!
Also, how much is your LO sleeping during the day? And what about eating? You might want to consider increasing her food intake so she isn't hungry at night. Or shortening naps during the day so she's more tired at night.
-
Thankfully we were back to a normal night last night. I did talk with DH and he has agreed to try to wake with her and see if he can sooth her back to sleep without needing to nurse. We are going to try it this weekend when he doesn't have to work. He also watched DD for 3 hours yesterday so I could nap.
sleep deprivation is no joke and really quite terrible 
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
14 comments