So...me and my boyfriend live with our almost 6 month old daughter. He plays yugioh. (A juvenile card game that reall y annoys me). Even though I hate him playing this stupid card game, I put up with it. But he invites his friends over and they smell. Bad. Like reek. Even if they shower the smell. The smell has permeated their clothing. It literally smells like musty dog crap. And it stinks up the whole house.These two friends live together and they just stink. Everytime they are here I just want them gone, and I dont ever want them to sit on the furniture. They are seeming like they are staying the night and I'm afraid thr smell won't go away when they leave if they've been here so long. Being a hormonal mommy I'm OCD about all smells (since I'm so sensitive to them) and I just can't stand it. How do I tell them their clothes stink? PS. They have no running water where they live. And I doubt they do laundry that often. I can't even be in the living room or kitchen when they are here. I feel like I'm being run out of my own house because I just can't stand a smelly house. What do I do?
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Have you talked to your boyfriend about them? What does he say? Tell him they need to find a new meeting place for their nerd fest!
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Might be time for card games elsewhere, and some dr bronners soap.
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Third asking them to meet elsewhere. Around here there are lots of board game shops where people play yugioh and magic.
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Oh wow, no running water? Is that even legal?
Sounds like his friends are either really gross or barely making ends meet. Either way I would tread lightly with saying something to them directly.
How about sharing your concern with your boyfriend first? Tell him they smell and their odor lingers. See if he wouldn't mind moving the card game elsewhere- outside at your place or somewhere else altogether. I wouldn't suggest him going to their place because he might come back smelling like them.
Would you let them use your washer and dryer? He may be able to get away with "bro you stink, bring your laundry next time you come to play cards."
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I know the smell you're talking about. We have a board game shop near us and I can smell that unwashed male smell just walking past it.
Can you play up pregnancy sensitivy to insist they play elsewhere? Maybe refer to a particular odor that you can't seem to name & suggest it's their laundry detergent. They could save face if you don't call it stink/BO. In my experience (from college dorms) when confronted with their stink they will deny even if they don't shower or do laundry at all.
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The house itself stinks. I have said this repeatedly to my boyfriend. But he usually tells me to get over it and to stop talking about it over and over again. One of them is the same one we let stay with us for over a half a month and never offered to pay for his share of our bills. I've since told him that if he wants to play it for extended periods of time, it has to be at their house. And he's beginning to not like it over there because it smells, and he does come back smelling like their house. So I'm hoping his dislike of the smell will encourage him to cut off so much card playing. He has the ability to tune out odors but even before I was pregnant I couldn't stand smells. Now they're unbearable. The one friend is comfortable not showering for over a week at a time and then when he does, he put on dirty clothes and he's ok with it. And he doesn't even own deodorant. I frustrates me. I won't let them crash on the couches, because its hard to get odors out of furniture. I can't get the smell out like I can with the boyfriends clothes in the washer after he's been over there. And they do go play at card shops. But then they hang out here. Ugh.
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I'd rather him go to their house... At least you can spray him down and wash his clothes, etc! How does one live without running water?! And even if they have running water I feel like it's their lifestyle choices! I am so sorry you have to deal with this! I would seriously talk to your bf more about the germs that they can be bringing to your LO over the smell...
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@RuePlusTwo: Your BF needs to understand that you guys are in a point in your lives that require care and compromise on both ends... But mostly for you since you are pregnant. My younger sister lives with my DH and me and she is into the whole gaming type of scene, though doesn't play card/board games unless it's at a card shop. I have limited her boyfriend's visits to the house to only weekends and she is respectful of that. My older brother used to be like this, though not to this extent, when it came to playing games and some hygiene aspects. What will happen when the baby comes? Willy our BF let your friends come around and stay for however long into the night and expose your child to these offensive smells? I totally understand the culture behind being a "nerd" or "gamer" but a line has to be drawn. They are not little kids anymore. At least your BF isn't!
Some ground rules need to be set that will make your lives better and more hospitable to a pregnant you and an eventual new baby. It may not be reasonable to expect him to never have his friends over, but it is totally okay to set time limits on their gaming sessions. If your BF wants to play more often with them (which I am hoping he won't and would rather spend the time with you and baby) it needs to be at a card shop where they too will set boundaries on time. And who knows, maybe even hygiene. We used to go to a comic book shop that stipulated that no one should have an offensive odor and that they and their clothes must be clean. I thought that was awesome!
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The whole point of a game shop is that they want their customers to come in and spend time and play, so it's fantastic that they do go out and play there. With us, that was our be-all-end-all meeting place, we had a loft where Pathfinder games were held, with a different group using the space on designated nights.
With Magic tournaments (card game, but WAY better than Yugio (spelling?, don't care) they would meet and do their matches and then hang out more afterward if they wanted. I lost interest in Magic because I don't have that analytical mind to realize the perfect combinations of cards, but I always encouraged Mr. Frog to go spend time with his friends, or I'd go tot he shop with him and read a book.
It is understood between us that certain people are never allowed to come to our home for visits. My little sister is one of those. Just because I don't have anyone I've felt like blocking, doesn't mean I don't have that right (and on my sister, we both agree, so that's not one-sided).
Maybe you and your husband can make an agreement that its just not okay for certain people to come over, that they'll have to find other places to have fun together.It may not be ideal, but letting him play at their house and just having him shower and launder his clothes immediately upon returning is an option too.
I live with Grandad currently, who is a smoker, and has been all his life. Since this house was built, there has been smoke in it, there is no escaping the smell. We cannot cook food here to take elsewhere because it is contaminated by smoke. We try to dress with clothes straight from the dryer or at least leave car windows open for a bit into a drive to blow away smoke smell when we go places. It's just how it has to be.
I was a little appalled to read that they had no running water and would have suggested the offering of laundry machines also, as I'm that kind of helpful person, but reading further, it sounds as if they are the type of people who live in unhygienic conditions on purpose by choice. So I've changed my mind. It's an option though.
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