So I hired a mother's helper today to come two days a week for 2-3 hours each time. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I feel guilty for needing the help -- I'm a SAHM from 6:30am-5pm, then I work from 5-8pm each evening. I feel so lucky that I've been able to figure out a way to stay home but still bring in income! On the other hand, I am ELATED that there will be an extra pair of hands around to help with the babies (almost 14 weeks old) during the day. I have been getting pretty strung out/exhausted, especially since naptimes have been such a battle with DS.
Has anyone else hired a mother's helper? How did you utilize her (or him)? Was it helpful/worth it?
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Good for you for getting some help! I have looked into hiring a mother's helper but haven't been able to find one I liked. It seemed most people in my area who want to be mothers' helpers are college students and are only available during the summer, and everyone else who is available for the rest of the year just wants to be a full time nanny. I had planned to have her supervise the kids and do some light house work while I cooked dinner after work. Now, the TV is my mother's helper
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I think it is great and totally fine and helpful to have a mommy's helper. I would love to do the same. I would have her play with F while I was trying to make dinner, laundry, etc. May I ask what you do in the evenings for work?
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@twoofeverything: Do not feel guilty! Babies are hard work...and you have double!
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That sounds great! I was a mothers helper to a mom with twins when I was in middle school. I went over from like 4-7pm twice a week. I would play with the babies while she did dinner/dishes/whatever for a bout an hour. Then we would feed the babies, give them a bath, and then put them to bed together. It worked out great for me and her! I learned a lot!
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@T.H.O.U.: Oooh you just gave me an idea to seek out younger people like high schoolers or maybe my home schooled, middle school age, next door neighbors' kids! Thanks!
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I kind of did this in high school. I would watch my coworkers son a few times a week after school so she could go run the trails or hit the gym.
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I think it's a great idea! I work full-time, so we had to use daycare/nannies, but if I were a SAHM, I would definitely consider hiring a mother's helper. Especially with two babies, I think having someone there a few hours a week could make a huge difference.
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Dude, you have twins. YOU NEED HELP. A sign of weakness is never thinking you need help
Shit, my mom was a SAHM and had a nanny 5 days/week, ha!
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Good for you getting help!!!
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@T-Mom: We are currently using our 12 year old neighbor to come babysit for an hour once a week. We are paying her $5/hr (baby is asleep). Her parents are home next door. Its a great opportunity for us and her!
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Good for you! I could not even imagine how hard it must be to take care of two babies solo during the day.
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@twoofeverything: I haven't hired one (I have a singleton) but I would if I were you, also! You should not feel guilty at all!
I would probably use her to be my right-hand man! And even get a short nap in after work. If you trust her and she is good with your children, then you should consider yourself extremely lucky:) Don't feel guilty. -
Ok you guys are making me feel so much better!
I was going to start by just using her as an extra pair of hands to help with feeding/napping babies, scrub/prep bottles, and maybe throw in a load of baby laundry now and then. Once I'm more comfortable, I may take a short nap or (gasp!) go for a workout or something.
Thank you, guys! -
@twoofeverything: I think one of the things that made me enjoy the job so much is that she truly treated me as a mothers helper/baby sitter. Meaning, I got to play with the babies and she would cook/clean. I was never given house keeping tasks except to maybe rinse out a bottle or bowl after feedings.
Just make sure you guys have clear expectations as to what she will be doing.
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Mom's need help. Good for you hiring a helper.
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I think that sounds like an awesome idea! Every mom can use an extra set of hands now and again
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@T.H.O.U.: That's a really good point! I will definitely keep that in mind. I really hope she's as awesome as she seemed during her interview!
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lol, before i realized you had twins i was going to say that it makes sense to need extra help, i want to look into so i can finish my dissertation.....now that i know you have TWO babies! oh my, i can't imagine doing that alone, kudos to you!
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@PurpleUnicorn: Haha, that makes me feel better! I was trying to justify it to myself, realizing that I am only ever "off duty" from 2-6am (when DH is in charge of the monitor...thank God for him!). Other than that -- at least during the week -- I am either solely responsible for the babies or working (tutoring young children).
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I would definitely want one if I were in your shoes. At one point (a few weeks when PPD was at itis worst) I had a nanny helping three days a week, plus family help, and I only have a singleton and am a SAHM. Now I'm on my own besides hubby's off days and our date days, but I can only imagine with work and twins! You're wonderwoman, don't feel guilty!!
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How do you go about finding a mother's helper ?! I need one ! Are there websites ?
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You shouldn't feel guilty. An extra set of hands is definitely helpful with twins.
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I'm a SAHM and I have a babysitter that comes for 5 hours one day a week. While LO is awake she plays with him and I get things done around the house. When LO naps I run errands and she folds laundry and cleans the high hair and toys while I'm gone.
I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you! You have two and a lot on your plate!
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23 comments