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You need to talk to somebody about this - telling us is a good start, but I think you need to tell a professional. This is no way to live! And it sounds like you know this. Do you have a therapist you could talk to? Some kind of employee assistance program you could access?

@CatchAFallingStar: so sorry you’re struggling.
I struggled last fall with bad bad health anxiety and it started to creep on again recently, but with tools from my therapist I feel like I can get a better handle on things quicker this time. Please seek your support (psychiatrist, etc) and be honest with them. I know you’re pregnant but I think you could find some safe anti depressants that would help so much. ️ Thinking of you.

@CatchAFallingStar: if you have meds could they need adjusting? I was feeling overwhelmingly anxious for 3-4 weeks on end and I upped mine One thing my therapist said that helped too was to try to stay in the moment not by focusing on your breath but just by narrating to yourself what you see. My daughters walls are pink. Her teddy bear is on the floor. The fan is on. It sounds hokey but works remarkably well once you make it a habit.

@Mrs. Champagne: Can you share some of those tools she has you do with the health anxiety?

I know how have a psychiatrist and therapist, but do they know all this? I feel like (if they did,) they would be recommending in-patient care.

I could be wrong, but I have a hard time believing that you are getting the best and most appropriate care for you right now.

This really can be in the past and a turning point in your life. You WILL feel joy again.

Well for starters, are you getting enough sleep? Do you have too much on your plate? Your current treatment may need tweaking, but don't underestimate what being exhausted and sleep-deprived may be doing to your mind.

Just wanted to send my support. The whole HB community is behind you. I agree with what others have said, particularly @crazydoglady. Inpatient care might really help you. I hope you are reaching out to your therapist or psychiatrist today.

@CatchAFallingStar: I am so sorry you're going through this. I know its so hard to find the happiness in this world, especially when you have your health tested. That fear of even testing for cancer can be horribly debilitating, let alone coming back from that state when you find out you're fine. It's very hard when your heart was already starting to mourn the life you wanted. Make sure you're expressing those feeling instead of keeping them bottled. Talk to someone about how it made you feel and how you feel now. You may not have Cancer, but your mental health is just as important as a cancer diagnosis. Sending you Big Big hugs!!

@CatchAFallingStar: I am SO happy to read this update. We care about you and want you to be well. I think finding a new therapist for after your out-patient care is a great call. I'm sure they will have recommendations, too!

It was very brave of you to ask for help, both from us and from the people in your world. I’m glad to hear your update, I hope you’re able soon to start feeling better.

I wasn’t trying to be harsh, more of just a gut-check for you. When you aren’t in control of your mental health and spiraling, things that you’d never do might happen because your perceived reality isn’t actual reality. And your brain isn’t being rational and making good decisions. We all care about you, and have seen your repeated cries for help in your posts...we just just want to make sure you are getting the help you need. Glad you are considering changing therapists and the intensive outpatient program. I am actually looking for something similar for a family member.